THE FAMILY WHISTLE

BREAK

2009-07-19T19:48:00.000-07:00

I needed a break so I ran upstairs and decided to post. Who knows how long I have. Luke was content sitting with his daddy, and Ryan was on a time out for the 100th time in the last hour for repeatedly doing things we tell him not to. Go figure. I have cabin fever today due to the heat and Luke wanting to eat all day. I am sore, and seriously thinking that my nursing days are coming to a quick end. Don't get me wrong, I am SUPER proud of myself for lasting this long and I am hoping to make it to the 4 month milestone where Luke will probably be able to start solids. If this cuts back on the constant need for nursing then we'll be OK. But at 17 lbs and only 3.5 months, he eats a lot. I have no idea how this pediatrician feels about starting solids at 4 months instead of waiting til 6. My only fear is that without nursing there will be no way to comfort him when he goes into one of his scream sessions. But at the same time, I am hoping to start sleep training and the nursing to sleep is such a big no no. With Ryan we lived in 'survivor mode' for a year and I don't want that this time. Things need to start getting back on track schedule wise. We need to have the energy to send Ryan back to his room in the middle of the night, I need some time when I am not holding or feeding Luke, I need more than 3 hrs of consecutive sleep, I want to be able to make Ethan dinner and see that excited look on his face when he walks in the door and smells it (instead of the poor guy having to eat cereal).

I keep thinking of things to blog but never make it up to the computer. A few months ago Ryan drank 3 Ensure shakes. He snuck into the pantry and got them. Not even sure how he opened them. Random things were happening related to the pantry that particular day, like Ethan telling me when he left for work that Ryan kept hiding in the pantry...fast forward to the end of the day when I saw him in there (me craning my neck to look over the couch while nursing and sent Ethan to investigate) and we found 3 empty cans! Ryan's reply: i love these, they are da-yishous. We decided the pantry needed to be locked and I moved all of Ryan's snack to a cabinet. Then I realized we have lever doors and spent $12 on the only lock that works for lever doors for it NOT to work. So, we bought a new handle but haven't installed it yet cuz we are cool like that. We did move the Ensures to the top shelf, only for me to find Ryan in there with a chair.

Let's see...oh, the vacation. As I had thought, Ethan and Ryan had a great time. I did a lot of sitting with Luke. Luke and I had to stay in the car at the beach where the seals were with their babies because it was too windy. Then at the river we sat under an umbrella. I got absolutely no sun. At the pool I sat in the shade, never got in the water. While some of the adults played games and stayed up I went to our room and nursed Luke watched TV. Ethan did a great job of taking care of Ryan but with the amount of people in our condo the noise was outrageous and it was overwhelming. Plus, Ryan feeds off of his older cousins and had some attitude that I did not enjoy. Luke had been doing 5-6 hr stretches when we left, and then switched back to 2-3..not a fan.

We moved Luke to his crib when we got back. It was just too much. After 3 months of sleeping with us, and doing 2 nights in a king size bed with the 4 of us it was time to have some space. The video monitor has helped ease my fears. I still have no idea why this time it freaks me out to have him in his own room (which is super cute by the way--I should post some pics).

Ryan did 2 weeks of swim lessons and though he cried the first day, he was fine the rest. On the last day he jumped off the diving board! TWICE. I was stunned. He really took to his teacher, and when he had a sub 2 days he was not happy at all. He waited to jump til his teacher came back. I am hoping we get him again because we start again tomorrow. He also has soccer once a week and loves it. My sister got him shin guards and real cleats and he looks adorable.

I just noticed its 8 and Ryan hasn't even showered yet so I need to go downstairs and get the bath/bed process started.

Yeah, I'm still here

2009-06-28T17:35:00.000-07:00

We are having a banner day here so I actually have a second to post. Luke is on nap #3! All in the swing, but we'll deal with that another time. I really wanted to nap right along with him, but we are leaving tomorrow on what Ethan is calling a vacation. I on the other hand call it "more work for me". Whatever. The intent is there, its just so much work and the sleeping arrangments...Liz, I just read your post about that too. Ethan's dad is generous enough to invite his kids for a summer vacation. He moves his time share around. Last summer we went somewhere that was Africa hot, and spent most of the time at the pool. We also were in a 2 bedroom condo with 4 adults and 4 kids. There was a murphy bed too and my oldest nephew slept in grandpa's condo on their murphy bed.

This year, there are 2 more kids! Seriously, what a year can do! So, we either sleep all 4 of us in a king size bed which is d0-able...sadly we've done it lately in our queen many a time. Or, each of us gets a kid in a twin bed. I'm too lazy to load up the pak n play, mostly because it has all of Luke's clothes in it cuz I use it as a changing station downstairs...and because we don't have the room. No matter how many times I tell Ethan I need a bigger car he says no...then when he sees how much room the stroller takes up (its a metro lite and the smallest Graco that is a travel system) he freaks out. I ofcourse have to pack for Africa hot days and nights in the 50s. You just never know how its gonna be at the beach...plus I need an umbrella for my chair cuz I don't want poor Luke to get burned since he is technically too young for sunscreen.

So, i've overpacked for Luke and Ryan, got snacks, meds (if you pack for the worst it usually never happens), swim stuff, beach stuff...and nothing packed for myself. I'll upload pics when we get back. We just downloaded a bunch. It literally took 30 min to download all the pics and movies so yeah, it had been a while! Ryan finished preschool and had a cute program, Luke is smiling up a storm...sleeping 5-6 hrs at night and if today is any indication of things to come, is finally fixing his day sleep issues. It was so nice not to hold him all day today!!! It is time for him to move into his crib when we get back and I'm nervous. No idea why. I kinda like having him in the bed. Maybe I have the "its my last baby" blues. Ryan is starting swim lessons and soccer, possibly a music class. Busy. I realized I have to try to get out of the house everyday or I go insane. INSANE. Ryan doesn't start school again til August so we gotta keep busy.

The ants are back. I cannot even tell you about it.

I had this weird thought today: If we send Ryan to school early, as in being 4 turning 5 in November, he goes to kindergarten next August...next year. OMG. It hit me like a ton of bricks. We've been talking about having him wait a year cuz he has a kinda late birthday, so he would be 5 turning 6, but decided to wait and see how he did with preschool this year and find out what his teacher recommends. I know with boys they sometimes say it is better to wait, but I also wouldn't know what to do with him. He will already have 2 yrs of preschool...no one around here does "pre-k" and i don't want him to be in "school" for 2 yrs, then out for a year. That makes no sense. Academically I think he could do it...he is lacking in fine motor--scissors and holding his pencil correctly to be exact. He can kick a ball, throw, etc. just fine.

So, that is whats going on in my bed. Congrats to Judy and her family on baby Claire.

New pics at other site

2009-06-17T13:51:00.001-07:00

New pics at other site...sorry, I have a baby that will not nap on his own so as soon as someone fixes that for me I can post here, LOL.

Let's see...

2009-05-19T14:32:00.000-07:00

For the past few nights Luke is doing 4-6 hrs of sleep as long as he is swaddled. Since it is Africa hot we are running the AC at night so he doesn't get too hot. Ethan hates to run the AC, especially at night. Too bad. Sleep is priceless. Unfortunately, none of that is consecutive sleep for me due to a certain 3 yr old that has come into our room almost every night since Luke has been born. At first we felt guilty about all the changes he was going through but now we are tired of the whole situation. We KNOW its going to take several nights of putting him back in his room and letting him cry, but who the heck wants to do that? We're both tired. Ethan gets up at 6am and though he doesn't get up with the baby, I know it affects his sleep. I sure as heck am not getting up. So...the last 2 nights Luke and I went and slept in Ryan's room because our bed cannot hold all 4 of us. Yes, Luke sleeps on our bed....we found out he enjoys our expensive matress and doesn't like the basinette. Blame him? In the next few months we need Luke sleeping through the night so he can start sleeping in his crib, and then we need to go hard core with Ryan's issues. Sounds like fun.

We are starting to get cement estimates for our backyard. We only have 1 so far, but its basically almost our entire budget so the backyard really isn't a project, its a patio and the sod/sprinklers/planting will have to wait til we win the lottery.

Luke is 6 weeks today. I'm still BF and formula...it works so i'll keep doing it til it doesn't. There are some situations out of the house where formula is easier, like trying to keep track of Ryan at a park. I'm sure I gave everyone there a show while I tried to keep the nursing cover actually covering something...in that kind of situation I need to be mobile and had a very hard time so bottles out of the house, most of the time. If people are offended by BF I usually dont care, but honestly, my boobs are no prize to look at. You would die if you knew the size of my bra. My dream: lift and reduction.

Luke is a grunter. He is not constipated, but sure sounds like it. He grunts, he strains, and literally keeps me up at night. Its worse after the middle of the night feeding, formula or breast milk makes no difference. I basically don't get back to sleep by the time he is awake again to eat, though he is semi-awake during the grunting marathon. If you have any ideas please share. We see the ped in 2 weeks for shots (yuck) so i'll ask then. Trust me, he is not constipated. NOT.

Luke has been asleep for almost 2 hrs, and Ryan too. Today was a nap day instead of a "quiet time" day. I always tell Ryan to lay down and try to sleep but if you can't, you may turn the light on and read books until I come get you. The first few "quiet times" were neither quiet nor the length they were supposed to be. He is getting much better. We all need a break. I have been on the computer instead of doing anything important, but oh well. Oh wait, I did put on make up and we have a playdate this afternoon so I'll look presentable. Woo hoo. I even showered today...

My day: head downstairs to make sure Ryan doesn't want 50 hrs of cartoons on Disney after his daddy leaves for work; feed and change Luke (again); head outside to play before it gets too hot; lunch and then Wii time for Ryan, nap. Outside again if its nice...wait for daddy to get home! Oh, and feed Luke about every 2 hrs...yep. That is my day.

check the other site...pics

2009-05-15T14:11:00.000-07:00

Ryan and Luke were actually napping at the same time--and I didn't have to hold Luke (hello swaddle, you are my new best friend) but I only managed to get pics on the other blog so check it out. And to lure you there...I cute my hair. OMG.

Let's hope for better

2009-04-29T10:46:00.000-07:00

Luke turned 3 weeks old yesterday. At first I thought time was going by slow, then realized he is one week away from being a month old...a month seems huge. Then I think 11 more and he'll be 1. From someone who wanted Ryan's babyhood to go by quickly, mostly because people lied to me and said he would sleep better, I think I will be sad when the baby part really does end. Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to more sleep. Even more, I'm looking forward to a schedule. Ryan did so well once we got onto a sleep schedule, unfortunately that took a year, so the prospect of starting a schedule much earlier is exciting. I hope Davis' program works as good for babies as it does toddlers.

Ryan still says he loves his brother, but he has definately been pushing limits the last few days. Yesterday I was already exhausted and it was just 100x worse with his attitude and constant defiance. I was ready to lock him in his room, except there is no lock. Insert tantrum we just had over him wanting more "coffee" which is milk, sugar, and a little decaf. Telling him we don't have anymore was not enough and he was getting into my face which I HATE. I'm having personal space issues since I started nursing. Yesterday Luke was on my lap for about 6 hrs straight. Honestly. Usually I can get him to nap if I swaddle him, but not yesterday so he was either eating or sleeping on me and it makes me feel chlostrophobic--not to mention my butt was asleep.

I have now officially breastfed longer than I did with Ryan. Still pretty sure I won't make it an entire year, but I'm going one day at a time. Luke had a bottle last night so I could shower and just get a break. Instead of taking a shower I chose sleep so let's hope I get a shower today :) He seems fine with formula and doesn't mind the bottle so that is good. My dad is hilarious. He won't say breastfeed, so he says mother's milk. Then lectured me that babies on mothers milk can't be gassy or have colic. Not sure where he gets his info, but Luke is a gassy baby, and was way before he ever had any formula. Oh, dad also says babies on mother's milk don't need to be burped...i have no idea where he gets this info. We were all formula fed so I know its new for him but really, not his area so he can just get over it.

Today I managed to clean up the playroom so hopefully Ryan will play in there instead of bringing every toy out to the family room. I'm caught up on laundry, but its not put away. I have 3 more nights of meals for moms so I don't have to cook, and there are minimal dishes.

Pictures...someday.

My kids are sick

2009-04-21T16:08:00.000-07:00

Luke is 2 weeks old and has his first cold. It is the most pathetic thing. Last night he got congested and today we already had a weight check scheduled. Turns out he has a low grade fever also. We went to the lab for bloodwork and everything was normal, thank goodness. Ryan woke up in the middle of the night coughing. His inhaler and cough medicine didn't seem to work, though the inhaler has worked this afternoon. He is working on a 2.5 hr nap. I went in and woke him up once but he wasn't into it, so hopefully he will come down on his own soon. My poor babies. He is sporting a fever of almost 101, though is acting fine besides the cough.

I feel like its a whole lot to process right now on no sleep, but we are doing the best we can. I begged (kinda) Ethan to try and take more time off. One week wasn't enough. I don't feel close enough to myself, besides having no appetite. The good part about that is I've lost 20 lbs already, though not in the best way possible.

Hangin in

2009-04-19T10:54:00.000-07:00

I miss reading everyone else's posts and I will try to get back on track with that. Right now I'm on the laptop and it has none of my favorites so I just check e-mail and usually that is all the time I have.

Luke is actually taking a nap right now and I'm not holding him!!! He is in the swing but its turned off. This will seem odd but I swear its making me dizzy when its on, like it swings too fast and I get that vertigo feeling. I know, strange. Ryan loved that swing and spent a lot of time in it and it didn't bother me one bit. He still seems to constantly want to eat and I'm doing the "on demand" feeding but it is wearing me out. I just wish he would complete a feeding without falling asleep and be more efficient. I can't believe I said efficient...I am married to an engineer.

I am still having a hard time coping with the fact that I am the only one that can feed him, and by Luke's rules that means I am the only one that can really comfort him--which means Ethan can hold him about 10 min if he is awake and thats it. Cry = nurse and there is a lot of crying going on over here. Which just started again...

Luke is 1 week old

2009-04-14T10:45:00.001-07:00

Luke had his weight check Tuesday morning, my first outing without Ethan. Man, the carseat is heavier than I remember. Anyway, Luke is 9 lbs, basically back to birth weight so that is good. For some reason when 8:00 pm rolls around he becomes a terrible feeder. He won't latch or won't stay, then gets all upset and falls asleep. I lay him down and then he is up 10 min later with the look of "i'm hungry feed me" followed by him falling asleep again. A vicious cycle. Finally at midnight last night I couldn't take it anymore, after 3 hrs of him being on and off that I gave him 2 ounces of formula and the kid slept 3 hrs! Woo hoo. The good thing is that I'm actually sleeping. With Ryan I had a hard time going back to sleep and would often times still be awake when he woke up 2 hrs laterI will keep up the bf as long as I can, that is the best I can do and I'm fine with that.

I haven't downloaded any new pics yet, but will have Ethan do that soon. Luke had his first bath which he screamed through. He hates to be naked, hates to be changed, and basically hates anything involved with clothing. He peed on our bed yesterday and again today. You'd think after already having a boy we would remember to cover him when we change him, but we forget. If he is completely full and asleep sometimes you can change him without screaming but its very rare.

Last night Luke had a formula festival. Someone told me he was trying to "cluster" feed at night, except for the fact that he wasn't actually eating. I was a human pacifier and that is a major no no for me. There are some things I just cannot take, especially in my exhausted state of mind, which now has added guilt due to me constantly telling Ryan I can't do something because I'm feeding brother. I know one day Ryan is going to explode about how all I do is sit on the couch and feed the baby. I feel so bad. Today he put up a fight about going to preschool and I got harsh with him, again feeling bad, but I know he loves it there. Then when I dropped him off he was so grumpy and I got tears in my eyes when I told him I loved him, and that Luke loves him, and was just trying to let him know everything will be OK. So, last night we did formula feedings over night and eventhough he still ate every 2 hrs, he went right to sleep when he was done--the feeding lasting a total of 20 min...not over an hour. I was able to change his diaper while he was in a formula coma and didn't have to hear the bird squeels or worry about him waking up Ryan. Other than waking up feeling like I was going to explode, it was good. I got some sleep, Luke got some sleep, Ethan slept...we'll see if this becomes a nightly ritual or not.

And now its time to pick up Ryan, which is ofcourse right about the time Luke needs to eat...why is it always like that?

Hi, I have 2 kids

2009-04-13T13:42:00.000-07:00

If you did not check out the other blog, Luke Edward was born on Tuesday, April 7th at 6:10 p.m. and weighed a whopping 9 lbs 1 oz. Shout out to my doctor and Ethan: "I told you so." Ignore the ultrasound from 2 weeks ago all you want, but listen to a woman when she tells you the baby is big. Just listen. And before I go into the details, a quote from my doctor as she is stitching me up: "If we do this again, remind me so we can induce you earlier." Um, are you kidding me? Okay...

I called the hospital Tuesday morning and I was the only induction scheduled so we were able to go. Thank goodness because I have no idea what I would have done if they said no. Other than cry. We got to the hospital and had to go through registration, even though I was pre-registered. By the time I got to the room it was almost 9:00 and when I was in the bathroom putting on the lovely gown I heard my doctor was there already. She checked me and I was 2cm (I was 1 on Friday). The pill was inserted and the wait began. Occasionally contractions would show up on the monitor but I never felt them. The great thing was that I wasn't hooked to an IV so I could get up and walk. I also didn't have a catheter--I am deathly afraid of them after a very painful one and was hoping to wait to get it until after some pain meds.

I had two great nurses and she suggested getting my IV in and ready in case it took a while and if I progressed quickly she didn't want me in labor and trying to poke me. Good thing because after trying several times in a 2 hr span they finally got it. I have small, thin veins with a lot of valves (whatever that means). They ended up heating a blanket and wrapping my arm in it to make the veins pop out and that worked.

Around 12:30 the doctor came to give me a second dose. I didn't have much of a change by then, and was nervous she was gonna send me home if that dose didn't work. Then the contractions were more regular and I could feel them, about 6 min apart. They were totally manageable and we decided I should try to take a nap. We turned the lights off, closed the door, and Ethan fell asleep instantly. I would doze off then get woken up by a contraction. Then there was a distinct moment when I realized that was not 6 minutes. I was trying to see the machine and finally woke Ethan up to check it. 3 min apart, then 2 min apart and it was painful. I waited a while longer and called the nurse for some meds. In her opinion it was too early for the spinal. She didn't want it to wear off too quickly. She suggested walking around after checking me because I was progressing and she thought if I could get my water to break it would happen very fast. I had visions of standing in a puddle in the hallway but didnt care. Nurses are not allowed to break water, so she called the doctor to let her know and depending on her appts for the rest of the day she was either gonna sneak away and do it, or come at 5:00.

We walked and I had to stop every 2 min and cling to the wall. The contractions were bad and felt like they were getting closer everytime. I went back to my room and tried a shower to "relax" me...didn't work. I needed intervention. The nurse checked me and I was 6. Yipee!!! She said it was a great time for the spinal and I couldn't agree more. My contractions were 1-2 min apart and not pleasant. I was holding it together for Ethan's sake, but man, they were brutal. I was kind of writhing on the bed, probably not attractive at all, but I just couldn't find a comfortable position. Because this is an "inserted" medication you cannot turn it off like pitocin.

Mr. Spinal said he would be there in 30 min and seriously I thought I was gonna die. I even did the math in my head about how many more contractions I would have til he got there. The nurse gave me an IV pain med to take the edge off but it didn't do anything. Nothing. Nada. Zip. So, I'm sucking it up, Ethan called my mom and sister and told them to make the 20 min drive over and again, more waiting.

Mr. Spinal showed up 30 min later, but his prepping everything took forever. Then, he had the nerve to answer his cell phone! He kept telling me to sit forward, sit back, move to the left, honestly, it was hell. I was leaning on my nurse, whimpering because I didn't want to cry outloud (you are welcome Ethan) and was in a lot of pain. She was a great nurse and kept telling me how good I was doing, that I should be proud of myself. I kept apologizing for acting like a big baby and I remember her saying "baby it hurts you complain all you want." Finally, the spinal was in. They laid me down on my back quickly and my legs were already numb. About 5-10 min later I was in a good place. I was ready to rest and take a nap. My mom and sister were there and all was good with the world...until the shakes.

I remember the shakes after the epidural I got with Ryan so I thought it was no big deal. The nurse asked if I was cold and I said no, then she said those aren't spinal shakes those are "complete" shakes. As in 10 cm complete have a baby kind of shakes. And my first thought was, are you telling me I basically went through an entire labor with no pain meds? WOW. She checked me and yes, it was time. She called the doctor who was on her way already and bam time for baby.

Thank goodness I didn't want any longer for the spinal because they would have said it was too late. The contractions were still 1-2 min apart but I felt nothing. It is the weirdest sensation to have someone grab your legs and you watch them do it, but not feel it. They were worried I wasn't going to be a good pusher since I couldn't feel anything but oh well. No way I could have pushed him out without meds. No way.

The entire pushing was about 30 min, much quicker than Ryan's over 2 hrs. But, things got a little scary, the magnitude I didn't really get until after it was over. First they gave me oxygen, then there was a quiet discussion about the baby's heart rate, I kept asking and everyone said he was fine. Then there was a request for a pediatric respitory team. More discussion of heart rate which was not quiet. Then a vacuum. Then a request for a bigger vacuum and the doctor telling me I had to deliver him now, we could not wait. I couldn't do more than push like I had been with her telling me if they were effective or not. I heard the head was out, and then the doctor said something about shoulder distosia, and that he was stuck and literally the nurse pushed my mom out of the way, almost dove to my stomach and dislodged him by pushing hard on my pelvic bone. It was so weird to watch since I felt nothing and all I can say is that nurse rocks...and thank goodness I did not feel that!

Luke's respiratory nurse said he was fine as soon as she heard him cry. This boy is loud. He has an ear piercing scream that sounds like a bird you would hear in a tropical rain forest. After they weighed him I heard my doctor say wow. Then she spent a lot of time "fixing" me.

Needless to say this has been a very slow recovery. I could barely walk the first few days. My sugars have not gone back to normal, but yes Flynn, I had 2 donuts and they were delightful :). I have a never ending headache, among other "injuries" that I cannot even discuss. I spent the night in the hospital but decided to come home after that. They weren't doing much but
checking my vitals anyway. I look pale and am on iron supplements. Today, the 6th day, I am up and around more. I made my own lunch and am learning to not be so dependent on Ethan because he goes back to work tomorrow. I have to say that eventhough labor and delivery scares Ethan and he doesn't say much during the process, and I know he would rather not be there, he has been the best dad and husband.

I am breastfeeding. I did not have such a reaction to it like I did with Ryan. I am trying to keep it up to generate a good supply, then hopefully will start pumping soon. I am having that feeling that breastfeed is all I do all day. I find it hard to start anything-like a shower-because I'm worried Luke will decide he needs to eat again and scream and don't want to put Ethan in that position. Also, his screams terrify Ryan. Sometimes I'm feeding every 20 min because he fell asleep during, sometimes its an hr, sometimes 2...I just have no idea and I hate that. Its not like with a bottle where I could go take a leisurely shower and not worry. I just worry. I actually think Ethan kinda wants to give him a bottle and has offered. One night he did take 2 ounces of formula so I could get some sleep because his days and nights are mixed up and I had been up for about 3 days.

Ryan has been a bit more cranky, but other than that, seems to love his brother and wants to always pet his head and check on him. With Ethan at work tomorrow it will be interesting. He tells us he yuves baby yook. he is still on his basic schedule and taking naps. he thinks its unfair that Luke gets to sleep in our room when he can't, but we remind him that Luke wakes up a lot and cries and Ryan hates his hungry cry.

Speaking of, there seems to be a lot of squirming coming from his favorite nap spot-the carseat. Last night he actually went 2 whole hrs between feedings, and is just waking from about a 2 hr nap where no one had to hold him. Yay! Another plus is that he does not need a pacifier to fall asleep. Time to go feed the chunky monkey. We're doing a weight check at the ped tomorrow so I will fill you in. The other blog site has some pics up.

Can you believe

2009-04-01T11:17:00.001-07:00

that we are sick again? Honestly, like the two week cold in February wasn't enough? I hoped it was allergies, but then Ethan and I both woke up Monday feeling sick. Bummer. With their allergies and asthma you just never know, especially since we've had high winds for days. But once I got it I knew. So, Ryan was off track for a month, goes back to school for 1 day and now we are all sick. Where is this immunity he is supposed to be building? Ryan's runny nose seems to be gone, so I'm hoping he can go to school tomorrow. He already missed yesterday. His main problem is the cough at night. As soon as he lays down, BAM. Its an asthma thing. He didn't nap yesterday either because he was coughing so much and I couldn't give him any more meds and/or mix meds. I'm one of those parents who reads the labels...go figure. There have been a lot of changes lately in kids OTC meds. Luckily I remembered what Ryan was allowed to have before they changed the labels. I understand trying to protect kids from overdosing, but most of what I read said it was parents giving babies doses for kids without talking to their doctor. What the heck? Ryan didn't get cough/cold meds til he was 18 m, with his doctor's approval and dosing. I don't like to drug him up, but when you are coughing and can't sleep you need it.

I'm feeling a little better today so I hope that means this isn't a long cold, just a few days. I keep telling the baby to ignore all my other requests to come out, that its not a good time right now. I need some time to recover my energy.

I have the best friends!

2009-03-29T19:57:00.000-07:00

Today was the baby shower I said I didn't want and I'm glad they talked me into it! We had a blast just socializing and hanging out. No games or anything like that. Just the girls hangin out without the kids. Oh, and food. The two organizers were so good about trying to find stuff I could eat and not having anything to tempt me. Though I protested the splenda cupcakes w/ no frosting they were great! Totally would eat them again (with frosting though cuz a cupcake without frosting is wrong without a medical reason).

I got lots of diapers and wipes, and some cute outfits that Luke might not care about, but I love. Even with all of Ryan's clothes we saved, it was nice to get some new stuff and 'ooh and ahh' over it. I will have to take a picture of these cute shoes that have skulls on them, they are awesome. My mom knitted another blanket (Ryan uses his everynight and calls it the soft blanket) as well as a quilt with a train on it. So cute. I loved the practicality of the diapers and wipes, plus the cute stuff everyone added in. Because we are doing a jungle theme, my aunt offered to take some of the pictures from her safari in South Africa and make a collage--LOVE IT. That is going to look awesome in his room.

Its all coming together and now that I made it through the shower, I'm really ready. Everyone thought I would go into labor tomorrow and the shower would be cancelled...no such luck. But, I feel like even if it doesn't happen on its own, the 7th is just around the corner. I don't see the doctor til Friday, what I assume will be my last appt before the induction. I'm hoping to stress the point of the pitocin working with Ryan and that maybe if the antacids they use to induce don't work they could try the pitocin. From start to finish Ryan's induction was 11 hrs-awesome for a first baby induction. I really don't want to be sent home, and don't want a csection unless its a medical necessity.

And now, I'm going to soak in the tub. My feet are a bit swollen and the sciatica pain has started down my right leg. I actually got some sleep last night and I'm hoping for more tonight. Friday night I literally got 2 hrs of sleep. My brain would not turn off and I was wide awake. Ryan did not nap today. Ethan took him out on adventures today while we had the shower, but brought him back late. When he tried to put him down for a nap at 2 he wasn't having it. We tried quiet time with the light on so he could read books but he wasn't having that either. He knew people were downstairs having a party and 'that was not fair i want to be at mommy's birthday.' I wanted him in bed at 7 tonight but as it is often with bedtime, my intentions don't seem to become reality and he was in bed at 8--complaining the whole time. Ethan and I were both getting frustrated and I had to keep reminding them BOTH that the reason he was acting like this was because he was tired...let's hope I don't get woken up in the middle of the night. It seems to happen in spurts. We'll have 3 good nights, then 3 bad. I forget where we are in the rotation...bummer.

Sometimes you gotta let it go

2009-03-27T13:50:00.001-07:00

I'm over (almost) the fact that I'm not being induced when I was told, and that my doctor doesn't trust the ultrasound results for the size of baby Luke. I'll just wait. I have nothing else to do. I am still a bit nervous that he is a big baby, and will continue to get bigger in the next two weeks, but we'll cross that bridge later. If I learned anything from being pregnant with Ryan its that they come out when they want, ofcourse there comes a time when you have to go get them because how long can you possibly be pregnant? I actually read somewhere that babies have been born healthy at 44 weeks, but that is about the longest a doctor has let anyone go. NO THANKS. I was also reading that most people aren't really overdue, they just calculated wrong. Ryan's OB tried to pull that one me as well, I believe she said "you're not really 12 days late, it could be more like 7." I do not even have to share my reply with you :) I know due dates are unrealistic, and that only about 3% of babies are actually born on their EDD, but there is something about hitting the mark, then going further and further and further. Its all you think about. It consumes you. Plus I'm tired, feel and look like crap, I want to sleep on my stomach and eat a donut (not all at once.)

I still wonder if there is anything weird about being 38 wks pregnant and not having one braxton hicks or contraction or anything. It seems like everyone else does and a lot of my friends made a few trips to the hospital and then were told it was false labor, GO HOME. Maybe my body just doesn't work like that.

Another thing that was mentioned at my appt was that the meds they use to induce might not work and after so many doses I would be sent home. I am confused since I can't go over due with GD and my induction is scheduled for one day before. What happens if it doesn't work? You think I would have asked, but I just couldn't form the question without sounding whiny. That is a new added fear, along with the baby being large and it turning all into an emergency. I do not want that.

To focus on a positive, I took the time to look at all the coffee creamers on the shelf and found one that only had 2 g of total carbs. Score! I have not had coffee (decaf) since the GD diet. Its not that I love coffee--I love some coffee with my milk/creamer and sugar. I paid full price for that bad boy and had some coffee this morning. Unfortunately I forgot to bring my testing supplies when we went to the kiddie gym this morning so I don't know if the creamer effected by blood sugar at all. I will try again tomorrow.

Maybe i will work on a list of foods I am looking forward to eating again...

What is the point?

2009-03-25T20:14:00.000-07:00

What is the point of doing an ultrasound to check size if you are going to ignore the results? Seriously. My doctor is so hot and cold. For weeks she talked about induction at 39 wks, then after the GD diagnosis it was induction for sure, cannot go over due, baby = too big. Then its "oh, we waited to long to schedule it" so now its April 7. Ok, fine. As a precaution because of the GD I had an ultrasound at the hospital today. With 2 weeks to go, the estimate was 8 lb 8 oz. I figured that would throw her into a tailspin (like it did me) and prepared Ethan for a possible induction in the next few days. My doctor totally brushed it off, told me they aren't very accurate this late in the game, and we're still set for the 7th. I know they can be +/- 1 lb, but I also know 2 more weeks could mean another pound on the baby, maybe more. We still do not have an accurate weight for me due to their weird scales. They had two scales today. One said I lost 3 lbs, another said I gained 5. THERE IS NO FREAKIN WAY. I want to just scream "lady, let me tell you what I eat in a day" but I don't get the warm and fuzzy feeling from her and I don't think she cares much. Even Ethan said she seemed all about business. She is. My mom says its my fault for picking female doctors and the only two that I have had have been relatively the same. At least my OB with Ryan would fake the niceness and do you have any questions when Ethan was there. This doctor didn't even say hello to Ethan today, the first time he came to an appt.

BTW: the u/s tech said he is very chubby and has hair! and I think we are having another middle name change...let's hope mom hasn't monogrammed anything, LOL.

So, now I get to wait and worry about possibly trying to push out a large baby when my previous was 8lb 2 oz at 41 wks 5 days.

Ryan finally went to the dentist!

2009-03-24T19:35:00.001-07:00

According to different sources I'm either 2 yrs late, or just a few months late, on getting Ryan to the dentist. Luckily all is well and his teeth are great. I was a little surprised that there wasn't a major meltdown, though I did bribe him with a lollipop before we went in. A bit ironic but it worked. He tends to like to show off and impress other people, so I wasn't that shocked that he did everything they told him to. Even xrays. We got a thumbs up on our teeth brushing technique and were told to start flossing...um yeah, we'll see how that goes. For now she said to concentrate on the molar area and teeth that are close, and not to worry about the others if he put up a fight. I believe this will be left up to daddy, just like cutting finger/toe nails. Not my thing. I'll post dental shots on the other blog when I get a chance. Looking for the cord under the desk does not sound like a fun job right now.

In other news, Ryan didn't nap yesterday. I'm getting the vibe that the napping days are drawing to a close, just as I expected, around the time the baby gets here. He kept coming out of his room and I kept telling him to go back. I wasn't comfortable getting into the shower because I didn't want him roaming the house, nor did I want to let him watch TV while I showered. I wanted him to try to sleep. Finally after an hour I told him he could turn the light on and look at his books, but that he could not come out and I would get him when it was time. New word: quiet time. I think I might have to set a timer or something since he loves gadgets. Today he napped with no problem, but he was in his bed at 1:00 on the dot. It might be a case of tightening up the schedule for both nap and bed, but I don't expect the naps to go on forever...no matter how much I enjoy them.

WOW

2009-03-21T20:19:00.000-07:00

Friday night around 5:30 Ryan asked to go to the park. Now I had been asking him since he got up from his nap around 3:00, but ignore that. We were outside playing in the front yard because our back yard is...well...unfinished. Let's just call it a bunch of weeds and dog poop. So, I told him it was getting too close to dinner and it would be dark soon (not really) but he wasn't buying it. Then he started a campaign of "call grandma I bet she wants to go to the park with me." Gee, make me feel bad. So, we negotiated which park (closest to home was my vote) and I said we were driving because no way was I walkin anywhere, especially when he likes to pull the "carry me" on the way home. I'm no dummy.

At the park there were kids of various ages. Ryan literally screams with delight and says those kids are his friends and they love him. It so cute to see him being social and trying to play with kids he doesn't know. Mostly he tries to follow bigger kids. I watch him closely to make sure a) he isn't bothering them and b) they aren't mean to him. He was running in circles, just being a crazy boy in the sunny weather and I loved it. There was a mom there with her kids, and at first I wasn't sure how many were hers. It was hard to tell because she spent the entire time I was there laying on a park bench reading a book. Laying.

Numerous times her kids got into fights with eachother over a skooter, and she took it away. About 10 min later the older girl is throwing tanbark at the sister. Ryan is in the area so I yell at him to move. He asks why. I say loudly, because those girls are throwing tanbark and its not nice or safe. Mom never moves her book. Finally the tanbark gets into the younger girls eye and she starts wailing. The mom yells at them to come over and doesn't really even ask what happened, basically just tells them to stop "whatever." The older girl (with some tude) announces she is still mad that her mom took away the skooter.

Mom's response: maybe i would reconsider if you stop acting like an idiot

WOW. Seriously, that is an exact quote. This was not a quiet conversation. This is her in a yelling voice, one that I could hear clearly from where I was sitting, across the play structure. Wow. She also yelled at one time that the older girl was not old enough to have her pants pulled down and spanked in front of everyone. Turns out there were 2 younger boys that were hers as well.

Now, I don't set out to judge, especially on parenting which is the hardest thing ever, and I know I'm not the best mom, especially now in the last few weeks of pregnancy I am losing my temper and just freakin tired, but I know I have never done anything like that and I just don't see why she thought that would motivate better behavior. Maybe she wasn't thinking. It happens. Ryan has been spanked a few times, I can't say I'm proud of it. I've told him to shut his mouth before, again, not proud, but I would never call him an idiot. Never. But I have told Ethan that his son was acting like a butthead, but Ryan wasn't around :)

It just made me feel if she will say that kind of stuff in public, what is she saying in private. Makes me sad.

I'm gonna cry in about 5 seconds...

2009-03-19T13:33:00.000-07:00

Today I saw the OB, and again, no real progress to mention. What I am not happy to mention is the 10 lbs I supposedly gained in 1 week. 1 week. How is that even possible with the diet I am on??? I have been doing this diet since Feb 9th, and have maintained and/or lost weight since then. At one point I had lost 5 lbs. WTF? Seriously, it is making me an emotional wreck because I just DO NOT GET IT. The doctor didn't get it either and she took me back in the hallway and weighed me herself. My scale even says I've put on weight. She said I have no water retention to speak of, but other than that is clueless. Then she said "just watch what you eat." Um, been doing that since Feb 9th. Hello. I was about 150 when I got pregnant, went up to 180 before the program, and have hovered at the 177-180 mark for over a month. There were weeks when I didn't gain at all, or lost a few. Last week I was 177 at the office, so this is totally blowing my freakin mind. Their scale says I weigh more now than the day I delivered Ryan at 41 wks 5 days. Holy crap.

To add to my stress, I found out today that we waited to long to schedule the induction, and I'm now scheduled for the earliest day available: April 7. One day before my due date. Thanks so much. So I've got 3 more weeks to feel miserable, gain unexpected weight, and keep up my diet. Fun.

On a good note, I had my last GD appt with the nurse and was basically released. They are happy with my progress and unless my #s go totally out of control I don't have to go back. I am a gestational diabetic rockstar. She said I am the exception to the rule, and most people that go in end up on insulin. I just don't get it. I've worked so hard to keep this under control and though its not easy, it has been worth it for the health of the baby, me and not to have to take insulin. I know sometimes diet doesn't work the whole time, but apparently there are people out there that don't even try. They actually ask for insulin. Insane.

Is it too much to ask a 3 yr old to be grateful?

2009-03-17T20:13:00.001-07:00

Everytime I type grateful I crack up because when I was teaching 9th grade we had vocabulary words each week that were mandated by the district. I would put the 10 words on the board and they would copy them down, define, and then I would have some other type of activity, followed by a spelling test at the end of the week. I saw grateful on the list and assumed it was a typo. Just didn't look right to me, so I switched it to greatful, which really doesn't look right either. In one of my classes I had a lot of special ed students so they had an aide that helped out and she brought it to my attention. How embarassing!

Anyway, Ryan had major tude today, even after I thought we did some fun stuff which he should have been grateful for. Maybe its just too much to expect, or maybe its me being tired and emotional and just done with carrying around 30 extra lbs and being hungry for stuff I can't eat.

We left the house around 11 (right as daddy was leaving for work) and hit the library. Technically this is the first time he has gone to specifically check out books for himself. Many moons ago we went for story time in O'side, but nothing since he has been this old. (Old...LOL). We specifically went because he has a Blues Clues book (that I hate) and was asking for more. His reading preferences go in cycles. We'll read the same two books at night for over a month or, if I happen to clean up his room and put all the books back on the shelves he'll just pick something and when we are done it ends up on the floor-the new favorites. His choice would be to have every book in his room on the floor so he could meandour around and pick and choose...that lasts a few days until I cannot stand the mess anymore and back on the shelves they go. So, after last clean up we've been stuck with a Blues Clues book--more specifically, a book with 4 stories and he makes me read "My Pet Turtle Torquoise" every time, and the second book is an old Winnie the Pooh scratch and sniff book that was mine.

We headed to the library for more Blues Clues but they didn't have any in English (I am not heartbroken). We headed to a section on 'cars trucks trains...things that move' that I thought would be a hit, but they seemed to be more for older kids. He picked out a book on big rigs. I picked out a book about a bunny that is going to be a big brother, and then we found some Bernstein Bears books--we have one already and its one of his favorites because sister and brother get in a fight and one of them says "get your dopey feet out of my face" and he thinks that is hilarious. He calls them the bad bear books.

We even looked at some dvds and I thought those would be a hit but he wasn't interested. Our local library happens to be attached to a park so when we walked out he asked if we could go to the park. Even though it was close to lunch I said yes, and he had a great time playing. Some older kids showed up and were throwing bark and just getting into general trouble so I said it was time to leave. That went ok and we came home for a quick lunch and nap.

We had already discussed needing to go to the grocery store, something I hardly ever do with him since my MIL usually comes twice a week to watch him while I run errands or attend my various doctor appts. She flaked Monday, and we were in need of some staples, specifically cheese sticks and granola bars for Ryan. He was excited for the granola bars and I might have bribed him with Starburst. I'm no dummy. I know I can't chase him around a store. He actually asked to sit in the cart which blew my mind. Then as we were looking at strawberries (this boy loves strawberries) he threw a fit about wanting raspberries. The problem is that he doesn't like them. I'm his mom, and I know things like this. Over and over he is talking about the raspberries and then says "daddy says I like them." Um...whatever. So I buy raspberries that were probably $4, I have no clue. I just wanted it to end. They did not have our usual brand of granola bars and I should have been leery when I handed him the box and he looked at me like "what the hell" but I bought them.

Everything was ok until right after checkout. I told him as soon as we got to the car and I washed his hands he could have a Starburst. He decided he didn't need to hold my hand, which is difficult when I'm pushing a cart anyway, but said he would stand next to me, which apparently translates into walking on the other side of the parking aisle and almost getting run over by a car. I told him to move closer to me 3x and finally was so annoyed that I grabbed his hair and pulled him closer. I'm sure it was a lovely scene in the parking lot. I am not proud, but hey, he is alive and not smashed under a car. In true Ryan fashion he got very dramatic and had to roll around on the ground. I put him in his carseat crying and went about my business.

Once everything was unloaded I talked to him about his lack of listening, especially lately, and how that was very dangerous. Starburst came up again and I said if he stopped crying he could have one when we got home...after washing our hands. It was absolutely silent and when we get to our driveway I turn around and he has both hands in his mouth (ew) and tears streaming. I ask what is wrong, thinking maybe he hurt his hands on something. Nope. Just him being overly dramatic again about Starburst because ofcourse, they taste better if you get to eat them in the car. Honestly, I"m losing it about now. I unload everything, leave him sitting in his seat (yes he is almost 3.5 and does not try to get out himself) and we have another discussion, specifically about following directions because ew, your hands are dirty and you put them in your mouth, and then didn't take them out when I told you too. Gross. Grocery store cart gross. Yuck.

Dinner comes around and he is having taquitos and his beloved rasperries which he finds out he does not like. Duh. I tell him to leave them on his plate but he cannot. They must be off, and another argument starts about following directions. I call daddy and ask him if he can have a talk with his son because I'm done talking and things are gonna get ugly really quick. Ryan blabs something about rasperries to him and how I'm making him eat them and "i don't yike them." He seems to calm down until he asks me to eat the raspberries. I tell him I can't because it makes the baby sick and he is screaming at me to eat them because he needs them off his plate. Can we all say "OCD."

At bedtime we talked about trying to be a better listener as our goal for the next day. We're half way through today and I think we are on track. But geez...I'm off to what is hopefully my last appt with my diabetes nurse.

Giving props where they are due

2009-03-16T14:29:00.001-07:00

Firstly, my parents celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary on Sunday. That is so cool. Ofcourse their three ungrateful children did nothing special--though one of their children is 37 wks pregnant and not up to hosting a big party or family dinner. They did get two gift cards for restaurants in town. I used to be much better at this...really. For their 30th we threw them a very nice party at a restaurant, paid for all by us. There were about 30 people. We had their wedding cake replicated, and I hand made all of the invitations using pictures from their wedding. Yes, all of this before I had Ryan. You guessed it. In previous years we've also booked them weekend trips to Reno, etc, or paid for their tickets to go to Disneyland...you have no idea how much my dad likes to go to Disneyland. Its a bit disturbing for a man his age, but whatever. So, I'm feeling a little bad about this year and we totally owe them for their 40th.

In other news, my husband is pretty awesome. Since he started his new schedule (12-8:30) he spends almost all morning with Ryan. Instead of just seeing him for an hour and breakfast, they have hours to do stuff. Today they re-set up Ryan's train table so you could run the trains on the track and not matchbox cars. He also takes him downstairs for breakfast, and deals with the morning potty and all that fun stuff. Saturday I had a babyshower to go to about an hour away, and they went to OSH to buy rose bushes to plant, and did that while I was getting ready. I didn't even ask for the rose bushes. I think Ethan is just ready to do the backyard but we can't start until we get a cement patio done, so he is doing whatever he can in the front. Then they worked on the shed in the backyard.

I got home later than expected from the shower and trip to BRU to buy Luke's coming home outfit, and Ethan had already taken care of their dinner--and called me to see if I was going to eat with them. Somewhere in the day there was a trip to Walmart and Office Depot, and Ryan took his normal nap. When I got home the water was running in the bath and Ryan was so excited to tell me all about his day. I kept telling him what a lucky boy he is to have a daddy that likes to do stuff with him, and to take him places.

Sunday I got up early with Ryan because my back was hurting and we let daddy sleep in. Then we headed to Old Navy because I had a 30% off coupon (couldn't find a darn thing) and Kohls. We had lunch at Round Table, then headed to JC Penney for an area rug. All the while Ethan kept Ryan occupied and we didn't have any major meltdowns. Ryan took a nap and then asked Ethan to take him to the park. So, off they went with his bike. I wasn't feeling well and fell asleep. I decided to check my blood sugars and they were 20 pts higher than they are supposed to be, 2 hrs after eating, not 1. I hate too much ice cream. But really, 1/2 c of ice cream? Come on. You need at least an entire cup. So, I had to go walk 2 laps around the block to get my sugars under control, just as they were getting home. After my first lap I saw them in the front yard, Ryan running down the street cracking up while Ethan chased him with a remote controlled car.

Then dinner, a family game of Mario Kart Wii, and bath/bed. Ethan took care of all of that as well. When I told Ryan again what a lucky boy he was, Ethan asked why. I really think he has no clue that there are a lot of hands off type dads out there. 3 seems to be a great age for helping dad do whatever needs to be done outside or in the garage, and they have such a great time together. It doesn't feel forced with him at all. He wants to hang out with his son and I think that is the coolest thing. Now, if I could only get him to dress him appropriately :)

p.s. baby Chloe is now 3 pounds and on track to come home at the end of April, her original due date

Exhausted

2009-03-13T20:10:00.000-07:00

Today feels like it went on forever. I'm not sure why. I slept decent, not like 8 consecutive hrs or anything, but that NEVER happens. I get a few hrs at a time (if I'm lucky and its not even the pregnancy its just ME) but I did wake up feeling good. But by dinner time I was seriously lagging and in some kind of fog. Ryan only had one time out today, though it was a doozy, shouldn't have been a major issue. We had fun at the park this morning, he took a nap, I'm not sure if its true physical exhaustion or emotional exhaustion...or both.

My sister and I got into a little tiff but that shouldn't be a big deal either, maybe its just a combination of that, and Ethan working shift the last 2 weeks. Because Ethan is a good guy he decided that since the technicians were being asked to work shifts, the engineers should too. He asked me if I preferred early morning or nights. I was thinking ahead and reasoned it would be nicer to have him home in the morning, especially to help get Ryan off to school. Seriously, its like pulling teeth in the morning and I hate being late. I figured with a baby it was gonna be nearly impossible. Then after he chooses nights he tells me they changed it from 10-7 to 12-8:30...um, ok. Then he says its only for March, and April might change. Ryan is off school til the 26th so that didn't quite work out as I had planned. But, Ryan and daddy have had a great time together in the morning. They have been working in the garage, went to Home Depot, and fixed the gate. But, he has not been home for bedtime and man, that has been a killer. Ryan is constantly asking for him, and by about dinner time I am losing it. Why is it that when I am trying to make dinner seems to be his favorite time to bother the dogs and just generally be disobedient? Throw in the time change and OMG!

We are also having sleep issues and Ethan and I have turned into softies. Ryan has been coming into our room a few nights a week asking to sleep with us, usually around 1am. The first night Ethan said ok, admitted he was a total softie. Then a few nights go by and everything is fine, then its my turn to be a softie. I got totally emotional about how in a few weeks there will not be room in the bed for him if we use the co-sleeper thing, but really, if the baby is in our room even in a basinette he shouldn't be in there. So, I was sad. What the heck has happened to us? Ryan has only been allowed to sleep with us if he is sick, and by sick we usually mean some type of a fever where I need to monitor/medicate him, or asthma issues, not a cold. And in the last week he has probably slept with us 3 nights. Last night he came in, I didn't hear him, but I heard Ethan say something which woke me up, and them he was in our bed. Ethan remembers nothing. I went to Ryan's bed around 3am for more room. Our sleep consultant would be freakin out right now! BTW: as I am typing this I heard his door open but found him in his bed. I think he heard me in the office and decided not to come out. Oh, its gonna be a long night and Ethan isn't even home yet.

The tiff with my sister was weird. We are very close. My parents just bought a house that she is going to rent from them. Ryan and I were over visiting while my dad was doing some work, then my mom and sister came after they got off work. Ryan was in the backyard playing soccer with my sister and took a detour to the gravel area and was kicking rocks. I told him to stop twice, then told him if he did it again I was going to spank his bum. That is usually not my first threat, but it came out that way. About 5 min later he starts kicking rocks again and I stand up and he runs. I HATE THAT. HATE IT. We are in an enclosed backyard and I know he can't get away, but everytime he runs I think of running away in a parking lot or across a street and I get scared which makes me more angry. Plus, I'm pregnant and cannot run after him. So, my sister heads into the house and I tell her to lock the screen do not let him in. She does, I finally catch him and he is already crying cuz hello, you know when you do something wrong at this age. I give him a light swat on his bum and the tears start flowing. Typical Ryan. When you send him on a time out at home he goes to the stairs, then cries. Its all planned out. I'm asking him to tell me why he is in trouble but he won't, so I send him to sit in the corner.

My sister starts asking him if he is ok and walking in that direction and I tell her no, don't talk to him on a time out or look at him. Ignore him. Seriously, you would have that I told her to kill a cat. I explained that he needs to know he is being punished and that he gets no attention, even bad attention. So then she tells me she doesn't agree with my parenting and I say fine, but he is my child and I'm parenting him that way and she says fine...BUT ITS HER HOUSE. UM. WTF. My poor mom is standing in the kitchen like 'oh crap.' Needless to say we left soon after that. I did my normal of talking to Ryan after his time out, asking him what he thought he did wrong, etc., which he totally knew and admitted. My sister has seen him get time outs before so I"m not sure what was up but man, that rubbed me the wrong way.

Ok...long post. Ethan might finally be home and I need to lay down and have this day be over.

Big fat zero

2009-03-12T20:19:00.000-07:00

So, I went to the doctor today, just sure I was dilating and on my way. Nope. Zero. Nothin. I don't think I was whiny or complained, but hey, this is the first time I've actually felt "pressure" or twinges or pins and needles and damn I though it meant something. Because my previous child obviously did not want to come out and allowed me to be pregnant for 41 weeks 5 days (yes let's just call it 42) with not signs of anything, I thought this was different. This baby must want to come out. Not as of today. So, all this pain when I walk is normal? Fun.

When I was about 30 wks with Ryan I had contractions that were pretty painful. I went to the ER and after an exam where it hurt so bad I wanted to kill the nurse, found out there was no dilating. The contractions showed up on the screen but no one knew why. They decided on dehydration, had me drink a bunch of fluids, then gave me a shot and everything was fine. 5 days before my due date I had some contractions, layed on my side, drank some water, and they went away. That is the extent of my contraction experience. Never pressure, or pain when I walked, or anything like that. Even during the actual delivery all of the pain I felt was in my back. Back labor is a bitch.

So, we keep waiting. Though I did get the "if you go into labor" speech today. I know its still early but I was excited that maybe, just maybe, one of my children would actually decide on his own "hey, today is a good day. I bet my mom wants a donut. she has been working really hard with her restricted diet and she deserves some french fries."

I am leaning toward the induction at 39 wks. I will see how my next two appts go, and I have another ultrasound scheduled for 38 wks for fetal measurement. No one thinks the GD has caused him to be large, just a precaution, but if they are thinking anymore that 8 lbs at 2 wks early I'm inducing for sure.

And the new debate: Maxwell v. Stratton...middle names (both family names on Ethan's side)

Holy cow today is March 8

2009-03-08T20:39:00.000-07:00

Today is March 8. My due date is April 8. Enough said.

Thank you for the support on the bf issue. I really didn't want to make it an "issue" this go round, but it is. You still get questioned if you bottle feed. Some people are nice about how they ask, others are not. They figure there has to be a problem. I guess in a way there was, but not the kind of problem they want to hear. And, people really think you didn't try hard enough or "if you could have just hung in there a little longer..." Maybe. I'll never know. I went in with the best intentions, did it for 3 weeks, with supplementing, and then stopped. I bought a very expensive pump and tried that, but wasn't producing enough to make it worth it. Literally, 20 min on one side = 1/2 ounce. 1/2! So, for my sanity at that particular time I quit. And hey, I didn't turn out too bad :) Neither did Flynn :) This time I'll try again. Try. And if I get overwhelmed or start to have freak out again, I'll stop. Maybe it will be easy this time. But, I'm really going to concentrate on not feeling bad about whatever happens. I know there will be more stress this time around, due to a certain 3 yr old, and I've just gotta take it as it comes.

I'm gonna vent so be prepared

2009-03-06T20:06:00.001-08:00

I don't think I totally ever got into the BF issue with Ryan, or the sleep issue...I mean really into it. I might at onc time, maybe to explain my feelings on those subjects, or not. Who knows. Y'all know Ryan didn't really sleep through the night til he was 1 and we had to pay the consultant who was phenomenal (thanks Kalyn). But, there are so many other things related to it and how we coped, and what we did, and just really, what it did to us as people and as a family. BF is kinda the same way. Lots of issues, and I still have guilt, though I am really trying to get away from that place and look at it with a fresh perspective. Hopefully this will make sense as you read.

Our playgroup has a message board, like many do. We've had lots of babies born recently, 3 since January I think, and there have been a lot of 'baby' questions/comments on the board. Most of us have 2 yr olds and older so we're in a baby swing right now. Someone posted a question about breastfeeding, and we have lots of BF moms. I decided to check out some of their suggestions. I figured I could learn a thing or two, couldn't hurt. It is obvious some people feel very strongly about it, but as someone that tried and failed, I am much more cautious in what I say, and just want everyone to do what is best for them, and I'm open to formula or whatever needs to be done not just for the baby, but for the mom as well. I am not going to put myself through what I did with Ryan. Emotionally it was not a good place for me to be in.

So, I go to a website that some of the mom's posted, supposedly it has great ideas, a real miracle worker kind of thing. Right off the bat its pro BF, not a problem. Its not like you can find anything really negative about BF, other than lifestyle issues. So, I'm reading through some articles and it says you can never breastfeed a baby too much, but you can under bf. Ok. I'm no expert so I'm going with it. Then it takes the "feeding on demand" situation of infants and stretches it out, basically saying keep feeding on demand. This is where I start to get a bit skittish, but again, no experience so I keep reading. Then comes a question about using bf to get the baby to sleep. It goes on and on about how that is fine and normal, and she doesn't understand why anyone thinks this 'natural' way is a bad habit.

Now I'm getting uncomfortable because I know, habits are hard to break. You nurse a 4 month old to sleep every day/night you are still gonna be doing that when he/she is 1 without great effort to stop it. Then there is a section about sleep habits and how parents have unrealistic expectations about babies sleeping through the night. Basically, you should just deal. If your baby wakes up, nurse it back to sleep, no matter how many times or their age. Luckily (kinda) i'm reading this as a second time mom so I know not to be beating myself up about how this is exactly the opposite of what I think/did, but still, it bothered me. I started to question myself. Over a freakin website!

The articles keep going saying parents that try sleep training and any form of CIO are trying to make the baby fit into their life, instead of the other way around. Letting your child cry itself to sleep (in any method according to them) is terrible and Ryan will be scarred for life. He knows he was abandoned in his crib and will apparently never get over it. WOW. So I keep reading because its like a train wreck and I can't stop, still with this feeling of "OMG what have I done? What am I going to do?"

And then the BF stuff starts again, and I find out all these things like I didn't try hard enough, wasn't committed enough, and if I would have just accepted the fact that this baby was going to be attached to me 24/7 it would have been fine. It was all me being selfish. Feed him when he cries and thats it. Just do it. Stop worrying about trying to leave the house alone for 5 seconds or sleeping for more than 2 hrs at a time. Weight loss in a baby is normal, don't worry, cracked and bleeding nipples, oh well, ice it up. Other issues, too bad, just do it.

Needless to say, I finally had to stop reading because I just couldn't find anything helpful anymore. Yes I know its better for the baby and me, especially with my GD. I know it. I also know some other things about myself that might make it more difficult. Maybe I am selfish. I don't know. Really. I. Don't. Know.

Let's have a shower

2009-03-05T14:03:00.000-08:00

Once we found out we were having another boy I made it clear to my friends and family that I did not want a baby shower. Not because I am an ungrateful wench, but because we kept everything. EVERYTHING. Ethan, the person who wants to throw everything away, made me keep all things baby. He said he knew we would have another, no matter what I had been saying. So fine, score 1 for him. Yes, we have a swing, and a portable swing, and a bouncer, and a jumperoo, and 2 bath tubs, 1 bath ring, a boppy, bottles, the thing that cleans the bottles w/ steam in the microwave, a bjorn, 2 other sling type things, 1 in fant carseat and 2 bases, matching stroller...we have it all. Still. And ofcourse, almost every single outfit Ryan ever wore. The clothes and blankets are in great condition so really, I didn't need anything. At this time in our economy it just didn't seem necessary to have a shower. The only things I've bought are a new crib set, some new nipples and pacifiers, and some breast pads--and some clothes on clearance from Target but those don't count. Baby cannot be expected to wear all hand me downs.

One of my very good friends from playgroup really wanted to give me a shower and she suggested a "bring a bag of diapers" shower. Another friend told me she had one of those and her son is 9m old and she hasn't bought diapers yet! I mentioned it to Ethan and he was all for it, and also added "can they buy wipes too?" Gotta love him. He also suggested they bring formula but since I don't know if I'll need any, or what kind, that was a no. Ethan is just remembering that Ryan's formula was $25 a can and we spent about $100 a month on it. Yep. But it was worth it for my sanity at the time.

So, the shower is scheduled for a week before my due date. I am laughing now because you just never know what is going to happen. With Ryan I had a shower 2 months early "just in case." We had no idea it could have been 2 weeks late and not mattered at all. I am grateful and lucky to have such great friends and I just couldn't tell them no anymore since they really wanted to do it but I still feel weird about it.

Baby Update

2009-03-03T14:14:00.001-08:00

First, check out the kids blog (link to the right). I just posted some pics of Ryan at Build a Bear from last weekend. I also just had my sister take some family and maternity pics that will be up soon. She did all this fancy stuff with editing and I'm having a hard time picking my favs.

I saw my OB last Thursday at 34wks 1 day. She did a quick ultrasound to make sure he is head down and he is. Yay! This little guy scares me cuz he is a mover and a shaker. If he is head down in 2 weeks that should be his final position--except for my brother who turned the night before, but we aren't going to think about that! So, I am now one day away from being 35 wks!

My doctor was happy with my GD diet and got a good report from my nurse. It is good that they are communicating since I had no idea how that worked. She suggested an induction a week early due to the GD, but said it was my call. She will authorize another ultrasound at the hospital to check fetal weight since GD babies tend to be big, even when sugars are managed. They consider big 10 lbs. I'm fairly certain this baby is no where near that, but its good to try to get some idea of what we are dealing with. She was confident I could push out a 9 lb baby since Ryan was 8 lb 12 oz...until I corrected her that he was 8 lb 2 oz...with a vacuum and almost 3 hrs of pushing. That tends to change things a bit.

I'm still undecided on the induction. I've done it before and I know pitocin sucks. But I also know that from start to finish it was about 11 hrs and that is pretty darn awesome for a first baby induction. It would guarantee everyone that is supposed to be there will be, and Ryan will be taken care of. No middle of the night antics. She will not let me go over due for sure, so I guess its down to the size of the baby and my mood :) If there are any problems with my sugar I would probably choose delivery over insulin and checking my blood 10x a day. I did tell my doctor I expected her to bring me a donut in the hospital! I'm going to be the only person who gains weight after she has a baby, but I don't care. I need some sweets! I lost a pound on their scale, and about 4 on mine so this diet thing really does work and will be great with some modification after I have the baby...but right after, I've got some yummy food coming my way.

Are you ready?

2009-02-25T19:43:00.001-08:00

So I just noticed our title is weird and has an extra picture of Ryan behind a bird...see what happens when I try to do something new? I didn't like the picture of Ethan and I (face was way too fat and it cannot be blamed on pregnancy) so I looked forever to find another picture of us, which is pretty impossible. I ended up on one from our Oregon trip-Aug, 2007. Now that I have it in place, I don't like it either. I totally needed makeup, though I don't think a lot of people wear makeup while they are climbing in caves...

Back to readiness. Ethan asked me last night if "we" were ready for the baby. I assume the "we" meant mostly me, and also any logistical things like oh, I don't know a carseat, crib, diapers, etc. I said no, I'm not ready. He said he wasn't ready. Comforting we are in the same place :) Then he went on and on about work and how he has a ton of deadlines for the end of March and he keeps reminding people he could be taking a week off at any time. This made me go into a tailspin of not-readiness and I started listing things we needed to do:

1) find infant carseat in garage and clean it
2) clean stroller (its very yucky and full of toddler grime and hasn't been used in months)
3) sterilize some bottles
4) buy nipples for said bottles (i did have to explain to ethan why i saved bottles and not the nipples...poor guy)
5) find breast pump and sterilize (we knew where it was at the old house but its disappeared)
6) pack my bag
7) buy a coming home outfit for baby
8) set up pak n play in family room for diaper changing and so i don't have to walk upstairs 100x a day
How come no one is doing this stuff? We do have size newborn and 1 diapers, probably even some 2s. My mom is the best diaper shopper ever! The crib is up but you really can't walk in there yet. I'm getting a small basinette from a friend for our room but there is nowhere to put it yet...add that to the list (clean my side of the bed floor). We also have one of those sleeper things that sits between the two pillows on the bed and the baby sleeps in it, its kinda like a box. Oh, wash the boppy cover...maybe buy some nursing bras...or wait...since sizing is going to be an issue. Clean out of the the baths we have because we have 2 plus a bath ring. Goodness! Find the Bjorn...I must stop.

We have diapers, some clothes and blankets washed, and will either have breastmilk or formula so we should be fine, right? We've done this before.

Um...gross

2009-02-21T19:48:00.000-08:00

We all have colds over here which does not technically lead to a gross moment. Sure, the runny nose is gross (Ryan's--Ethan can deal with his own) but a cold is a cold. I am surprised we got them around the same time, since it seems we always have a week or two delay. Ryan woke up with a runny nose Monday, by Wednesday I had a scratchy throat, and Ethan too. I am always surprised how a virus effects people differently. Ethan and Ryan have noses that run like a river. Maybe it is because of their allergies, who knows. I on the other hand get the congestion and sinus pressure. Painful. I could spend anywhere from 3-10 days on the couch, while Ryan runs around like normal, maybe a smaller appetite and Ethan can still go to work. Weird. My OB said I could take Robitussin and Sudafed if needed. And because I am "all about" my diabetes I even got the sugar free type made for diabetics. If you think regular cough medicine is horrible DO NOT EVER BUY SUGAR FREE. EVER.

Anyway, Ryan stayed home from school Tuesday but went on Thursday because he seemed much better and hardly had a runny nose. For some reason today it is back with a vengance and a cough. Super fun. Ethan says he is feeling better. I am about the same. If I don't take tylenol for the sinus pain its awful. The sore throat is at least gone, but the congestion is still here. When Ethan went to the store to get Sudafed they didn't have any. Can you believe that? I've been making due with some decongestant spray that a pregnancy book said was safe. With that, the tylenol and some hot tea, I'm hangin in.

Onto gross. We put Ryan down for his nap around 1:30 (late as usual when daddy is here) and got busy putting up the border in the nursery. Around 2:30 Ryan is calling for me and it was that tone where you know as a mom you can't ignore it. I walk in and he says "remember how I pooped in my pull up? i pooped in my pullup." The bigger and better news is that he has been potty trained (except for nap and night) for almost 3 weeks!!! I told him accidents happen when we sleep and that is why we wear pullups for now. As I walked into the room the stench was almost unbearable. I pulled back the blankets and OMG. I cannot (and will not) describe. You would have thought he didn't have a pull up on at all. He started to freak out a little so I told him we were just gonna take his clothes off and put him in the bath. Ethan is useless in this kind of situation. I yelled to him that we had an emergency and I would be needing him in the bath. Ryan did not want to take a bath because baths are for when its dark.

After I finally got him in the bath and had Ethan supervising that, I had to clean up the mess. I could hardly do it. Remember the "poop up the back" of babyhood? Well, Ryan wasn't that kind of baby. I think we had 2 occasions...both for his daddy :) I can still remember Ethan screaming down the hall for help and just standing at the door and laughing. That is expected with babies. Ethan's mom tells the story of going to the grocery store, putting Ethan in the cart, and next thing she knows its running down his leg! My little niece just had a similar thing happen in her bumbo. The picture was hilarious! But again, baby. I told Ethan, "I didn't sign up for this." Not meaning messes or mommy stuff in general, just being sick, pregnant, and dealing with a poo mess all at once. And ofcourse I had it in the back of my mind that this was some new virus and there might be more of this coming my way...shudder.

Laundry is in progress. Let's hope I don't have to do another load in the middle of the night.

Heaven

2009-02-18T19:57:00.000-08:00

After complaining about being bored with my food choices, the nurse suggested a "fun food"--ice cream. Heck ya! Now its only 1/2 a cup but after going over a week with nothing sweet it was delicious. That is a snack I won't mind repeating. The ice cream has to be plain, either chocolate or vanilla, and actually can't be "lite" since I need the fat content but I will take it and love it. Ryan was very excited to wake up from his nap and find chocolate ice cream for his afternoon snack. Who wouldn't be? Unfortunately I had a high number of 157 after breakfast. I am supposed to be between 100-130. It meant we had to layer up and take a walk outside. Exercise helps to bring down the blood sugar, along with a lot of water. I have never been that high and it was scary, especially since there are no symptoms, which is weird. Apparently eating an entire banana is not an option. I actually only meant to eat half and then bam, it was gone. Breakfasts are rough, especially if my night time fasting number is already high. There are SO many things I am not allowed in the morning, and now I basically have to add fruit to that. They really love me to eat eggs for the proetein but I wonder what that is doing to my cholesterol!

I was able to talk to my friend today who had the premature baby. She is finally off the preclampsia meds and feels more like herself. She said they made her loopy and she couldn't put together a coherent sentence. Now she can focus on recovering from the c-section so she can easily get to see the baby whenever she wants. She got to hold her which I assume means she isn't hooked up to a ton of things, but I didn't ask a lot of questions. I didn't want to upset her. I was thrilled she got to hold her baby. She gets to leave the hospital tomorrow or Friday and I know it is going to be so hard for her to leave here baby there. It is a fantastic NICU and I know miracles happen in those places, but please be thinking of her as she has to walk out of that hospital empty handed. At least 6 weeks in the hospital is the estimate right now before baby Chloe will be able to come home.

The world might be ending...

2009-02-17T13:23:00.000-08:00

My friend's doctors decided they could not wait anymore and she had a c-section last night. Baby Chloe was 2 lb 1.3 oz and 13 inches long. Everyone is doing well and she has already been called feisty. I don't have any other details. I know that the struggles of last week evaporated when they saw their beautiful baby girl and I hope for a speedy recovery and good health all around.

As for the world ending: I bought diet soda today. OMG. I thought maybe diet cherry Pepsi would be OK. I am so sick of water and decaf hot tea that I had to at least try. I had some with lunch and it was eh. I think I could get used to it. The problem is that there is some caffeine so I need to watch it or I'll be up all night long. I also bought some diet rootbeer which has no caffeine. We'll see...but I am by no means a convert.

Prayers for a friend and our low key V-day

2009-02-16T14:41:00.001-08:00

One of my best friend's from college was just diagnosed with preclampsia and is in the hospital. She is due approximately 4 weeks after me, but can have the baby at any time now. Her shower was supposed to be next weekend and I got the e-mail saying it was cancelled. My heart is breaking for her. A few weeks ago we were just talking about how she was born premature (can't remember how early) and wondered how her mom dealt with it, and now it is probably something she is going to have to face...at possibly 10 wks early. This is her first pregnancy and she was so sick in the beginning. Then they thought they found a marker during the blood tests for possible defects and they had an agonizing week before seeing a perinatologist and having a 4D scan to that showed nothing. At this point she is in the hospital to have her blood pressure monitored. When it gets to a point where they can't control it she'll have a c-section. Makes my GD seem like nothin. So think of her and send good thoughts and prayers her way. I'm waiting for her to let me know she wants visitors and then I'll be there ASAP.

As for Valentine's, we skipped the crowds on Saturday and decided to go out Sunday night. Ethan gets points for arranging a sitter, but then he kinda stalled due to my special diet. Apparently everything revolves around food for us--at least food we can consume at a real restaurant without a 3 yr old. We saw Paul Blart Mall Cop which was funny. It was the only movie we could agree on. I just can't handle his shoot 'em up movies, especially when I'm pregnant. I just need everyone to love eachother right now:) As it was, the baby did not like how noisy the movie was and did not stop moving the entire 1.5 hrs. Then we went to Chevys were I had a....drum roll please...salad. I did consume some chips and salsa first, and even with those my #s were good. Still...salad. UG. Today we were low on groceries and I accidentally missed my snack so I knew my #s were gonna be a mess, and I asked Ethan to go to Subway. High #s. Such a bummer. I'm running out of stuff to eat!

I got Ethan a gift certificate to an indoor wind tunnel type thing, kinda like skydiving but inside and MUCH safer! He has skydived before (against my wishes) but won't do it now that he is a daddy. But it was totally fine to do with a wife and no life insurance :)

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-14T11:45:00.000-08:00

Here are our Valentiny photos for Liz's bloggy friend thingy--I can' remember if we were supposed to post these earlier or not...I could totally be late. I made pink rice krispie treats (they were supposed to be red) for Ryan's preschool class, and our playgroup party. A few days ago Ryan made Valentine cookies with Grandma. I have a really cute Valentine wreath on our door and some decor on the mantle but you do not want to wait for me to walk downstairs, take the pictures, come back upstairs, upload them, etc. Hope everyone has a great ay!

GD update

2009-02-12T14:15:00.000-08:00

After two days of being a GD diet rockstar, I'm having some issues. For example, I woke up with a really high sugar this morning before eating. No idea why. Then I eat the same breakfast I had yesterday and had fantastic numbers with, and am 20 pts higher...annoying. I really don't want to be on insulin but I know that is the next step if I can't control it with diet. I just hate that I'm following the program exactly and it might not work. I went to Ryan's playgroup Valentine's party today and DID NOT EAT ONE COOKIE OR CUPCAKE. I even brought my own lunch...I had a wheat tortilla with cheese and turkey, and some grapes. I even made 3 batches of pink rice krispie treats and did not eat a piece. Not even a taste. For all I know they could have tasted terrible :)

Its almost 2:30 and Ryan finally fell asleep--totally late. He was in his room singing some "i love you song" he learned at preschool. Unfortunately that means he is barely going to get an hour nap and he is going to be absolutely lovely this evening and I'm already tired...and hungry. Snack time 30 minutes!

Glad I'm not the only one with the Isla/Amy issue. I even went so far as to mock a TV announcer who said Isla was the star of the new Shopaholics movie. I laughed and waited to see how long it would take the network to correct it. LOL. Man, I've got an ego! For anyone who is interested, the Shopaholics series by Sophie Kinsella are hysterical. Light reading, total chic lit and a great way to jump back into books if you haven't read in a while. The movie clips seem a little over the top or too goofy but that could be just me. I'll be seeing it anyway.

Bring on the protein

2009-02-10T09:21:00.000-08:00

I met with the nurse and dietician yesterday. They were very nice and didn't try to scare me into following the program. If I can manage this with diet then it shouldn't be a big deal at all. Ofcourse they have to mention all the things that "could" go wrong and that is scary. Anothing scary thing is they weighed me with shoes on...OMG. It was also so lovely to hear that I was overweight for my height before I got pregnant. Thanks again.

The diet is easy in the sense that they give you a sheet, tell you what food group to eat from and you just pick. The bad thing is that the list of stuff to avoid is about 20 miles long. I also feel a bit cheated because I'm not someone who drinks a lot of soda. Caffeine and I are not friends and it will keep me up til 4 in the morning. Even when I'm not pregnant, I usually only drink soda or iced tea when I'm out. But hey, on this program diet soda is free. I could have all I want. Too bad diet soda makes me want to puke...ug. Aspartame and splenda are dead to me. And since any type of juice is a big no-no I'm left with water...which is fine, but I do need a bit more variety. Milk counts as a carb so I tend to think why waste a carb on a small glass of milk, but thats just me. Right now I'm finishing up some hot tea (caffeine free) and its a free option...but man I would like a big glass of milk right now.

The other free items are proteins and veggies. Totally not my favs...which is why I was overweight when I got pregnant. I see the link...I see it. I don't like it, but I see it. Someone telling saying you can eat all the meat and veggies you want would sound delightful to someone like Ethan but for me, whose favorite food is a veggie burrito, not so much. I'm working on it.

Yesterday for my snack I had a light yogurt. For dinner I had 1/3 cup of pasta which is NOTHING, 1 piece of french bread, and 3 meatballs. I opted for bread instead of adding an extra 1/3 cup of the pasta. Oh, and I had green salad--gag. I just don't like lettuce. But with the salad and the 3 meatballs, I wasn't hungry after. When my night snack came around I had 6 crackers with peanut butter and a cheese stick. So, it seems like a lot of food, just spaced out.

For breakfast today I had a wheat english muffin w/ one egg and some cheese. They want you to eat starches in the morning and prefer you not to have cereal, plus ofcourse PROTEIN. For some reason women with GD do not handle cereal well in the AM. I am allowed to have it as a snack later...which is coming up in about 30 min.

So far my #s have been good, nothing over what they should be. My fasting or over night numbers are great.

Totally random: is it just me or does Isla Fischer from the new Shopaholics movie look like Amy Adams from Enchanted?

Apparently its not that big a deal after all

2009-02-05T13:16:00.000-08:00

Today I saw my OB. I was dreading the GD lecture, and possibly a weight lecture, and whatever else she had to throw at me. I've been feeling pretty beat up about it, probably because Ethan thinks he is the sugar nazi. I on the other hand have decided to eat up and after Monday I'm hard core on the "Sweet Success" program. I'm not kidding...that is the name. Freakin ironic. So, I was in a "bring it on" kind of mood. I had done tons of research and was ready...

FOR....NOTHING. Turns out the doctor didn't even know. She asked me when I did the sugar test and I was trying to remember, and all I could say was "9 days before your office called and said I failed." Then I remembered it was a holiday Monday. So she starts telling me to do the 3 hr. Major confusion. I tell her I failed the 3 hr, she checks the file and its not in there because the info was faxed over to Sweet Success and they were awaiting my insurance authorization. I tell her I have an appointment with SS on Monday and that is the end of it.

I ask her if there are any delivery issues with GD, waiting for her to tell me she won't let me go past due, and she says not if I manage it correctly. I can go two ways: manage it with diet, or eat whatever and use insulin. I ofcourse do not want to give myself shots and tell her I'll manage the diet. She agrees but actually told me some women prefer to just use the insulin. No thanks. And that was it...except for noting my 4 lb weight gain and saying it had been 3 weeks when it had been 4 wks since my last visit...but whatever. I was well within my range at this point. And now, at 31 wks I get to start the every 3 wk appointments, and Ryan goes off track the 19th so I'll have to get a sitter for that because heck no am I bringing him with me. I also have to get insurance info about possibly doing a circ and if they cover it, and who has to do it since our ped doesn't affiliate with that hospital. Cuz, like, I'm having a baby soon.

natural

2009-02-03T13:14:00.000-08:00

I got an interesting comment this morning. It was almost a compliment, or started out that way, I'm just not sure. Yesterday I was at our local outlet mall (don't be excited, it kinda sucks) buying more gigantic bras at the "special" store. Ofcourse I went over to Carters and OshKosh because I"m looking for a coming home outfit for the baby. Do not even get me started on how Ethan thinks that is lame, or how he wouldn't spend $30 on the cutest outfit ever at BRU. Whatever. I'll be getting it next week :) And, for those of you that think $30 is a lot, I tend to agree, but I also had Ryan's 1 month picture taken in his outfit so it was worn twice...and now has a special place in a shadow box with the hat from the hospital, his bracelets etc.

**note: i have the shadow box but said items are not technically in there yet...its the thought people :)

So, while on the other end of the mall I saw the Tuesday Mornings was going to open today at 8am. I drop Ryan off at 8:30 so I thought I would head over there to see what they have. We are still in search of an area rug for under our dining room table, and possibly a small kitchenette table (if I can convince Ethan). Turns out there was nothing really of interest. One possible rug but it tended more toward the blues and I wasn't sure that was the direction I was heading in.

Anyway, I'm in the toy and baby aisle and this women says to me "you look really_______" i can't remember exactly if she said good, nice, beautiful or what. I automatically knew it was "you're pregnant and you look ok" kind of a comment because I was not dressed super nice or anything like that. Just jeans, a long sleeved white shirt w/ a turquoise tee over that. Nothing fancy. I said thank you, that I didn't feel that way, but appreciated her comment. Then she starts going on and how how women need to be told they look good, especially when pregnant, which almost made me think it was a pity comment. And then she dropped the bomb: i can't remember the exact quote but it was along the lines of: "women need to know they can look good and be NATURAL." That was me, no make up, hair not done...pretty darn natural. I don't know, it just rubbed me the wrong way.

Off to do a zillion loads of laundry!

The GD

2009-01-30T09:21:00.000-08:00

Wednesday I got the call that I failed the 3 hr glucose and have gestational diabetes. Before the shock and worry could take over I was ANGRY. It took them 9 days to let me know. The last time it took 2 days. I was there on a Monday and heard them tell another patient the doctor would have results by Wednesday but could call early if they wanted and sometimes they are done. 9 freakin days. Ofcourse since I didn't hear anything I assumed I passed.

All the girl tells me from my doctor's office is that my levels are still high and that she is referring me to a nutritionist in another city. I'm pretty sure there are nutritionists in that city or hey, even the city I actually live in but whatever. About 10 mins later I get the call from the program. She is all full of information, says I need to get in ASAP, I'm already 30 wks blah blah blah. Then she wants to confirm my insurance info which is wrong. They had me on Medi-Cal. I told her no, I have Blue Cross. She asks if I'm sure. I'm sure. Then came the junk about needing an authorization because its an HMO so I get scheduled for Feb 9th. Apparently its not such a rush after all if I don't have state paid for insurance. Um...ok. So now I have to meet with a nutritionist and nurse for about 2 hrs on my initial visit. I didn't even ask how long my other "visits" are going to be because I don't want to know.

I did some research on the net (diabetes organizations, mayo clinic and web md) and they all said the same thing. Basically its sounds like modifiying my diet and checking my blood up to 4x a day. Not too excited about that. Diabetes does run in my family, but GD is different. A lot of people that get it have no family history and it doesn't have anything to do with their weight. There is no real explanation of why it happens to someone only during pregnacy. Either I''m not producing enough insulin or my body isn't processing what I do produce correctly.

I can manage the diet and checking my blood. Since I do not plan on having another child I don't have to worry about the stats that say it would most likely happen to me again. There is a greater chance for me to develop it as I get older, but with the family history I have you would never know what really caused it. A positive is that from what I read I will not be allowed to go past my due date, but a negative is that I will most likely be induced. I've done that before and know what to expect but wanted to see what happens when you actually go into labor on your own. Oh well.

The scary things are that the baby will have to be monitored after birth, and Ethan does not do well with people taking blood from his little baby. Ryan had it done 3 days in a row because of jaundice and Ethan had to leave the room. That means he left me with a screaming infant when all I wanted to do was scream myself. Ethan said he thought he was going to punch the person that was making his baby cry--cute--but I needed help. There is the possibility that the baby will need sugar water either from a bottle or IV. The IV would suck. I know getting a bottle that early could cause problems with nursing, but his health is way more important than that. He needs to be able to maintain a normal blood sugar on his own, just light maintaining weight and temperature. Plus, I had problems with Ryan and only lasted a month anyway and I think I am finally over the guilt of not exclusively breastfeeding. If this is a 100% formula fed baby, so be it. Hopefully baby's sugar levels will be normal on the first try and we won't need to deal with any of that, but they are possibilities I need to be ready for. There is also the possibility of him having to go to the nursery for monitoring and that would just make me sad.

I was trying to explain all of this to Ethan and as soon as he heard the baby needed blood taken and possibly an IV he flipped out and accused me of giving our baby diabetes. Needless to say the discussion ended there and I didn't speak to him til the next day. How dare he? I forwarded him all the research I had to prove to him that this is nothing I did on purpose but by the way, thanks for making me feel like crap. Love ya.

Now it all seems to have sunk in and I see my doctor on the 5th. Hopefully I'll get more concrete info then. **this just in, my mom called to tell me that the hospital they are sending me to is a Kaiser hospital and I don't have Kaiser. honestly...

a new possibility

2009-01-26T13:37:00.000-08:00

We might have a middle name for baby Luke! Hey he's gonna have to sleep in a box but at least he'll have a name :) Maybe. Why is this so difficult?

I cannot even describe to you how difficult it is to deal with Ethan about names. Not only does he just say he hates a name I suggest, he says things like "that makes me want to throw up." Kind hearted man. So, he has all these rules in his head about what he likes and what he doesn't, and just like with Ryan, I gave up suggesting names because after about 50 I had nothing left. He says things like: thats too trendy or it reminds him of a TV show or someone he knew in elementary school or...the list goes on. I respect that if it has a negative connotation from someone you once knew--I am that way since I taught for 2 yrs and was in an an educational setting for years before that, there are certain names that are ruined for me because of one child's behavior.

Luke started out as a joke for Ryan calling the baby Luke Skywalker. Then Ethan said he actually like the name and since I didn't hate it, it made the list of names which had exactly 1 name on it. Ethan has not found anything he likes better so at this point I believe its a given. It began time to tackle the middle name recently. Because Ryan's middle name (Anthony) is after my grandfather I thought Luke should have some type of familial name as well. I think I have mentioned the terrible names on Ethan's side of the family--both sides. I am left to slim pickings as well since the Portuguese tend to name all their boys the same. The list is small and are most likely too ethnic for a blonde little boy with our last name to pull off. It doesn't get much better on my mom's side. For some reason they are into one syllable names, things like Roy, and that just doesn't go. I suggested Edward, since that is my dad's name (and my brother's). Ethan was not thrilled, but didn't totally say no.

In a last ditch effort I e-mailed his sister's to see if they could think of any family names. I like Edward, but felt bad that Ethan's side wasn't represented. His sister sent me a list and so did his mom. We also have issues with names that end in "er" since our last name does. And, we didn't want anything biblical since Luke is part of the gospels already. Maxwell was on the list and it got a thumbs up from both of us. We wanted to check to make sure this Maxwell guy wasn't a weirdo or anything. Turns out its a maiden name about 10 generations back. So, nothing recent, but still a good solid name. Now we (Ethan) just need to decide if its "family" enough. We did find a Luke about 4 generations back. I haven't mentioned the name to anyone else yet because if they hate it I don't want to know. My grandma already told me she hates the name Luke so that rocks :)

R U Kidding Me x 2

2009-01-21T19:47:00.001-08:00

1) Ryan pooped in the potty Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Fantastic! There were occasional pee pees as well. Instead of Ethan taking away the Wii it happened on its own. He was running around naked and then told daddy he had to go potty. Ok, easy enough. So, the naked thing worked. Then it continued the rest of the weekend. We were all excited and told him how proud we were. Ethan was a champ and took him to the potty every time he said he had to go--and there were a lot of false alarms. There was a talk about "breaking the rules" and pooping in a pull up is breaking the rules. Anyone want to tell me why as soon as daddy went to work on Tuesday we regressed? I think my child hates me. You cannot take away 3 days of not changing a poopy diaper and then do that. Worst of all he went into his playroom and closed the door so he totally plans it. UG. The frustration mounts...

2) BRU shipping. I ordered wallpaper border for the baby's room because it took a long time and a lot of money for us to do the chair rail in Ryan's nursery. ALOT. My mom sister and I painted so all Ethan had to do was the rail. This time Ethan has to paint the bottom half of the wall and touch up any areas at the top, so I figured painting the rail and doing all the cutting on the miter saw and installing would take forever...and we have about 10 wks. I found a safari border that is almost exactly identical to the crib bedding I got at Target. Apparently its the same company sold under a different name at BRU and they charge way more. Lovin the internet. Anyway, I ordered 2 rolls for $40 and then ordered the matching wall hangings. The wall hangings are fabric squares, 9x12 inches. They are small, but cute. Why did BRU want to charge me $18 for shipping ground? Talk about being ripped off. Two small rolls of wall paper border and 4 fabric squares. Pah-leez. Sad thing is I had to pay it because they don't carry those items in the store (ofcourse). When I checked Amazon to see if they had it for free shipping because I am a loyal Amazon customer they didn't have it. SAD.

Crockpot note: I used one of the recipes from the blog Kalyn posted. I love lemon rosemary chicken, especially at Johnny Carinos. I used chicken breasts instead of a whole chicken because the thought of touching a whole chicken (inside and out) made me want to puke. So, I added chicken broth like she suggested, and cut down the lemon to 1 and used dried rosemary because that is what I had. It made the house smell yummy, but I thought it had way too much rosemary. That stuff is pretty potent. It said 2-3T and I think I used 2. On the other hand, Ethan said the rosemary was fine but it was way too much lemon for him. Nice experiment. At first he said he would eat it again, then I noticed his plate still had a lot left and he confessed he really didn't want it again. Oh well. I never thought you could put uncooked chicken in the crockpot so I'm excited to try something with bbq sauce because the chicken was so tender. I bought all the ingredients to try her broccoli beef...I'm going to try that this weekend and I'll let you know.

rhogam, crib dramarama and 3hr glucose

2009-01-19T16:40:00.001-08:00

I can't remember if I mentioned this or not, but I had the rhogam a while back and it was a major process. I might have mentioned it....hhmmm....I'm only thinking of it again because of the glucose I did today. Anyway, it was a huge ordeal, or a "procedure" as they liked to call it. I had to go to the hospital, stop by the lab because I had the blood drawn the day before, then two OB nurses came down to "escort" me to labor and delivery. No joke. I did mention that hello I was not in labor, just there for a shot. I actually was put in a L&D room for the shot. Crazy!

Cribs! We finally got the voucher for the recall so after our 3d/4d on Saturday (pictures up on the other blog www.boystuffhere.wordpress.com) we headed over to BRU. My mom and sister were with us so they could wrangle Ryan, who was surprisingly ok at the ultrasound. Crib have gone up in the last 3 yrs! Not just by a little, but by a lot. We paid $199 for a pretty decent crib (not counting the recall, LOL). It was by no means bottom of the line. That price point pretty much doesn't exist anymore, nor do cherry stained cribs. I don't have to be matchy matchy (already been there done that) but I wanted something close. I walked around in a daze. Why is everything $400? We didn't want a convertible crib. The added expense of the rails which according to the guy are anywhere from $80-150 just didn't seem worth it, plus I'm not sure a full/queen bed will actually fit into the room and leave a kid any room to breathe. Most of the upstairs bedrooms are 10x10 or 11x11. Then you add in the cost of a queen matress....not necesarry right now. We're hoping #2 stays in the crib for at least 2 yrs (and if he chooses to stay in longer like Ryan that gets a big high five from us) plus Ryan's bottom bunk is on wheels and not attached to the top so we already have another twin bed if Ryan wants to start sleeping at the top. See...I've been thinking :)

Anyway, there was just nothing so Sunday we headed to a town in the other direction. They had a cheaply made crib that looked like it would fall apart at any moment, and only came in white. We were getting desperate and white is ok, though I tend to think it more girly, but this white didn't seem as cute as the other white cribs. Then we found one in antique maple but the guy told me those were recalled, but not the white ones. Excuse me? So, do we have some chemical issues with the stain? And, note to stores: if an item is recalled you should put it on the tag so instead of saying this crib comes in antique maple and white CROSS OUT THE ANTIQUE MAPLE. I do not need two recalled cribs. At this point I wanted to cry. Ethan was ready to get a white crib and run because BRU makes him nervous--too many preggos. In his favor, this was the second day in a row we had been to a BRU. I just couldn't believe we could not find one crib for under $300 that was not convertible and had a type of dark stain. I walked up and down the same aisles again, and just when I heard a sigh from Ethan I found it. Here it is: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3012776

Its a coffee stain and not cherry which is fine. It is technically a convertible because it does convert to a day bed, but we didnt buy the extra rails to make it a full sized bed. They had to order it, which now makes me a bit nervous since it is out of stock online. If I get a call tomorrow that they don't have it I might have a fit! I was so nervous when Ethan took the tag up to the guy, waiting for him to say "we have it in natural wood but not coffee stain." Cross your fingers that in 7-14 days we have a crib.

The 3 hr glucose was today and it was terrible. I almost had to quit an hour into it because I was feeling terrible. The room was so hot, and I just felt blah. I got only about 2 hrs sleep last night and was just not in the mood. When I asked to sit outside they said I could lay in another room which made everything OK. I watched Pride and Prejudice on my sister's portable dvd and just tried to keep busy. The funny thing was that the only bed they had was in the room where they draw the blood so eventhough they put a curtain around me people could see me laying there and probably thought I was a weirdo. Anyway, its done and after lunch and a nap I am feeling better from my depletion of blood and minerals.

Anna tagged me and pregnant photo for Flynn

2009-01-16T21:07:00.000-08:00

I still have not mastered putting comments under photos, but its obvious which is my 4th folder/4th picture photo and me pregnant. That was taken at 22 wks in the same exact outfit I took a picture in at 22 wks with Ryan. Will I post them both? Hell no. Just believe me that I am obviously bigger. Also, if possible, ignore the outfit. It was the "after work" outfit, and I was all about comfort. I would not have worn that out in public. The fact that I still have the sweats is remarkable, and why did I keep a radioactive maternity t-shirt? And, the picture is 4 wks old. Use your imagination.

As for the 4th folder/photo, I believe that is my brother's graduation from the academy and that was a guest speaker. I did not take that photo, but a lot of them turned out blury inside the theater.**

Tomorow is our 3d/4d ultrasound so I'll have some pics to show. I have some other great ones from the other ultrasound but I need to photoshop some info off the top and I am not great with that yet. Ethan is watching a guy movie so it looks like its a night of HGTV for me!

**So, when I go through my photo directories on my own it comes up in a different order than when I am trying to post from here. Very strange. So, this photo was at a playdate at Beth's house on June 15, 2006. That is Ryan's head to the right. Liz and Kalyn were there that day too!

Sort of compliments, randomness and I'm freakin huge

2009-01-14T20:00:00.000-08:00

Ryan went back to preschool last week, and as I was standing outside to pick him up one of the mom's I've talked to a few times asked in a whispered voice if I was pregnant. I told her yes, and honestly people, it is SOOOOO obvious and has been for a while. She explained that she didn't want to assume and she hadn't seen me in a while. That's true, they were off the entire month of November and only went two weeks in December. Now, technically I was pregnant the first day he went to preschool but only Ethan and I knew then, and that was only for about a week. Then she went on to say she thought I had gained a little weight but figured with the holidays that was probably it, and admitted she is not a small girl and had put on some weight lately and she didn't want to offend me by asking and then being wrong. Totally. I've been a witness to such a conversation and its nasty. Then she said sometimes she would see me and I looked pregnant and other times not...and really that was true for a while. Maternity clothes make you look pregnant, other stuff not so much. And, she sees me at 8:30am, usually in yoga pants and a sweatshirt when I drop him off. Occasionally I am put together enough for jeans, you just never know. So, when I told her I was 6.5 months alone she about died and said I had hid it really well. Hiding it was not the object, but it made me feel good to know at least a few weeks ago I was looking OK. NOW..well, now its just plain ol' obvious and she even said no amount of Christmas cookies gives you a basketball belly like that. True dat.

Then Ethan said a semi nice thing about my size. His co-worker asked when I was due and responded with the usual "wow thats not far away at all"....ok, yes we know, please stop telling us how soon it will be. WE ARE NOT READY. WE HAVE NO CRIB. THE ROOM IS NOT PAINTED AND ITS FULL OF BOXES THAT GO ANYWHERE BUT IT IN THERE. A total 180 from when I was pregnant with Ryan. Anyway, the lady asked if I was showing and he said "a little." I love him. Be jealous ladies :)

We had sun yesterday and it was about 65 degrees so we went to the park near our house. First time visit to that park. Its ok, but I miss the two parks by our old house. Two older men were sitting on a bench watching their grandchildren play (one was supposedly 4.5 but looked 10) and the man offered me his bench. I told him I was fine and needed to stand for a while. Then he said "so you're having another boy." What? I said yes, and he told me he had picked the gender of all of his grandchildren correctly 100%. That is kinda cool. I think he had 6 grandkids. Creepy but neat.

And I'm huge. If my scale is correct I weight what I weighed the day I had Ryan...and I have 12 more weeks. Holy you know what. I did start 10 over so I haven't gained the same amount YET, but its happening. Thankfully Ethan told me he put on a few pounds over the holidays and I think if I am a little more careful I won't weight more than him. Oh please...I don't want to weigh more than him. Oh...I failed the glucose. 3 hr test on Friday and I'm not allowed to leave. That sucks.

Better

2009-01-13T13:20:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all the support after Sunday's 3 yr old bipolar meltdowns. Monday was much better with only 1 timeout! It was a pretty good time out though and took all my strength to get him to the stairs because he wouldn't go on his own...how come on Jon and Kate Plus 8 they say "go to the corner" and the kid goes? Not mine.

When we were walking through the blue store on Sunday I noticed lots of people wearing pj bottoms and slippers. Ethan must have noticed them at the same time because he commented at the same time I was thinking of a blog post in my head about how I would promise you I will never wear pj bottoms and slippers to a store--ever. Especially slippers. Please. Throw on a flip flop.

I think I forgot to mention that last week my dog ate a plastic tiara (yes it was mine) then the next day chewed the wood moulding around the laundry room door when I put her in there for 2 hrs so I could leave the house without picking up every single thing on the floor and off the counter. After this we realized we hadn't been giving her the prozac since we moved. We just totally forgot. So, it appears it has been working...

I am in the process of starting a new blog on wordpress because this has turned more into a ME blog than a family blog, and I'm totally ok with that. I didn't want to change the name or address, but I also didn't want to link to the new blog because family members don't know about this one and they will the new one. I like that I can write about family stuff and not worry about offending anyone. Sometimes I need to vent and its not appropriate for them to see. So, once that gets up and running I'll give you the address if you want to keep track of Ryan and baby #2 stuff. I decided a shared blog would be much easier than keeping up two separate babieslonline.com accounts. As it is, I hardly update Ryan's. The blog will be much easier for me and I'm all about easy!

More Target love: clearance video monitor $69! And some love for JC Penney clearance=$1.87 baby clothes...yipee!

Supernanny are you busy?

2009-01-11T22:30:00.000-08:00

We could use a little help over here. Ryan had a disasterous afternoon, the only thing good about it was that Ethan was here to witness it. We are starting to have nap issues, and I'm in total prayer mode--I am not ready to give up naps. I know, he should still do an hour in his room of quiet time, but really, I want naps. I need naptime. If he does not nap we have to move up bedtime which in most cases means Ethan won't be here and I do not have the energy to get him in and out of the bath and put to bed. He actually did sleep today but I don't let him sleep past 3:30 so I woke him up and he was in a yucky mood.

Ethan got home soon after so we could go run some errands. He gave Ethan the hardest time about getting dressed (yes he was still in pjs...don't judge). He ran from him, which was a game at first, but then Ethan got irritated. I wanted to scream "SEE, SEE WHAT I MEAN? TRY DOING THIS WHEN YOU ARE 5 MIN LATE FOR PRESCHOOL--oh, and pregnant")

Our first stop was the blue store, sorry ladies. Red store didn't have the mats that go under area rugs, I already looked there and Ethan said we had to get them today because our chairs are scratching the wood floors. Ryan was ok, til the end. Ethan was in line so I took him outside to the garden area, then to look at leftover Christmas stuff, then he decided to do his own thing and when I told him to come back he screamed so everyone could hear that he was NOT doing what I said...I looked in Ethan's direction with the "told you so" look and was just embarassed that I couldn't control my 3 yr old, nor could I run to catch him. I could just see the headlines, 'pregnant lady running after bipolar 3 yr old falls on the floor of walmart'....no thanks.

Then we were off to the grocery store. Ryan told us he didn't want to go and really we should have listened. He was grabbing apples to weigh them, then dropping them wherever. When I asked him to help me get some apples he didn't want anything to do with that. He wanted every apple but the kind we actually like (Fuji and Granny Smith if you are interested). Then I had just about enough and grabbed him kicking and screaming and took him over to the plant/balloon area where no one ever is and gave him some lecture, I can't even remember, then daddy showed up. Finally we got some apples...then it was just a mess down every other aisle and I remember Ethan asking me "why are you in a hurry" when I asked why we were going down an aisle we didn't need anything from and I said "yes, when i'm with him, always yes." There was another meltdown when I stopped the cart Ryan was pushing from running into a tortilla display and he kicked me...super fun. Ethan was all over that and I was just beside myself. Whose kid is this?

We got home, he asked to play with his toys, I made dinner and everything was fine. Freakin bipolar 3 yr old. Seriously. And now #2 is beating me up from the inside. Hoping for a better tomorrow :)

I heart Target :)

2009-01-08T14:15:00.000-08:00

So, if Liz is reading this she is saying "DUH." This is a NEW love for Target. I have said before I enjoy shopping there much more than that place that Liz and Judy hate, but there are times I can't go, like when I have Ryan. Why didn't I remember that Monday? Anyway, today I had to go get more blood taken (I think we are on 11 vials so far) at the hospital which is about 20 minutes away, and they happen to have a brand new Target right across the street. I had time to kill before picking Ryan up from school so I went. And as it happens, I have to go back tomorrow to get my Rhogam shot so I might be stopping in again...poor Ethan, don't open the credit card bill...I love you...

I had decided on a safari/jungle animal theme for the nursery. The problem was that everything was about $200. I got suckered into that the first time and we had the bumper in exactly 5 months and never used the quilt. So, the dust ruffle and sheet got a good 3 yrs of use, but thats it. Also, I noticed all of these "sets" came with a diaper stacker which I don't want or need since I have baskets that fit perfectly in the changing table and a valance. The window is way too big for the size that comes in the set, and we have nice thick blinds with decorative moulding at the top. No need to cover it. I seriously had a list of about 30 sets that I liked, but just couldn't make myself buy any of them at that price, even if we try to sell our frog set on E-bay. I had been eyeing a set at Target that was $69.99. I thought it was cute, but just wasn't ready to purchase.

Today, I was ready to purchase. Who got the last set on clearance for $49.99???? ME!!! As my mom said when I called her "i bet you like it a lot more now." Yes, yes I do. The changing pad cover, sheet, dust ruffle and extra blanket were also on clearance. Yipee. I think I got everything for less than $100. Ethan would be proud....if he wasn't already thinking we could just re-use the old bedding. I like the old bedding, I'm just OVER blue. OVER. Especially with Ryan's new room screaming blue at me everytime I walk in there. This is tan and green.

Then, oh my, the children's clearance area. I found matching sweaters for the boys for Christmas! I know. $8 each. I thought it was going to be hard to find some matching stuff so I jumped at the 4T and 12 m, and just around the corner, two more sweaters that matched. It was hard to contain myself. I also got a Star Wars onesie that Ethan is going to love, and some other random stuff. Plus, clearance infant wear for my friend who is having a boy. A sleeper for $1.50. Please. I spent less than a brand new $200 bedding set, and got an entire bedding set, clothes clothes clothes for the kids, 2 new folding hampers, 7th generation dishwashing liquid, and hangers for Ryan.

Target also gets a shout out because I lost the receipt for his bedrail that wouldn't fit and when I told her I knew the day, and even approximately the time I bought it she said if I used my credit card she could find it and she did. Just awesome.

Ryan has a friend coming over in an hour so I need to clean up.

Feeling it

2009-01-05T13:41:00.000-08:00

After 5 days off Ethan is back at work today and Ryan is...well...being a brat. He threw a nice little fit at Target where I just wanted to walk away from him and pretend he wasn't mine. Ethan takes him on errands all the time and has no problems. I ended up bribing him with candy, and then french fries, but the bad behavior continued once we got home. He wanted to play Wii and it was nap time so we had another round of crying and threatening and I'm just exhausted from the whole ordeal. I only had to buy 3 things, it was not a monumental shopping trip at all (though there was a stop at the 75% off christmas stuff but nothing good). They are getting in some new furniture/decorator stuff that was where the Christmas stuff was and its CUTE. Ofcourse, not my colors since Ethan wants to leave the red wall in the family room. That ofcourse makes no sense to you because I haven't posted any pictures of my house :)

I'm also feeling the pregnancy. The last week has been hard. I remember telling someone 20-30 wks is the best part, but after that its down hill. I agree still, but let's move it to 27 wks instead. Getting up off the floor is harder, and I'm pretty sure Ryan knows I'm tired so he is working every angle in his 3 yr old brain. We had some nights where he slept through til at least 5 (which I will take) but then a few nights where he comes in around 1 and wants to sleep with us. I have to escort him back to his room (no he does not go quietly) and then I sit/lay with him for a few minutes. It just boggles my mind how some nights are fine and others are not so fine. I cannot even go into the lack of potty training that is happening over here.

Saturday night my grandma was admitted to the hospital. There is some confusion as to what is happening. She has bronchitis and a UTI, but her lungs are clear. They have stopped the chemo pills for now and there is the possibility of a blood clot. I'm not sure if these are common side effects of chemo or if this is just something else. My aunt and grandma live together, they are both on chemo...sometimes it just seems like too much, which is me being selfish because they are the ones going through it, not me. I do feel selfish in that a part of me doesn't even want to deal with this. She is my only grandparent left, the one I was always closest to. 4 days before I was scheduled to be induced with Ryan my grandfather died and I have that "not again" feeling. Again, selfish but I haven't truly grieved for that. I was so in my own new mom world and just surviving that I couldn't process anything else. And I feel sad for my brother because he only ever knew two of his grandparents.

Ok, enough of that. I have to make a lasagna for a friend from play group. They set up "meals for moms" when someone has a baby. Isn't that nice?

We survived!

2008-12-28T21:27:00.001-08:00

It has been such a busy few weeks for us, so I was a bit amazed we survied all the holiday mayhem. Ethan's birthday was the 24th (I know). Then we had my entire family over on Christmas Day, Ethan's family on the 26th, went to Ethan's dad side of the family on the 27th, and to a hockey game today as part of Ethan's "12 dates of Christmas." Plus, my child took a 15 min nap in the car on the way to Ethan's dads house...but he fell asleep on the way home around 6:15 and because I bring pjs in just this type of situation it was all good. Well, except that he fell out of his bed for the first time last night, but other than that little hiccup he slept 12 hrs. SCORE. FYI: he has a bunk bed where the bottom bunk sticks out under the top bunk (he doesn't even know you can sleep on the top and has never seen the ladder thank you very much) and there are built in shelves/desk on each side, connected to the top so there is no room for even a bedrail. Do not ask me how he fell. I have solved the issue with a pillow. The $40 bed rail is somewhere in this house and I need to return it.

Ryan had a great Christmas as usual. I'm sure there will be pictures at some point. Why is downloading such an issue for me? Anyway, he slept in til 7:30 which is HUGE, then really wasn't interested in going downstairs but Ethan and I were ready so we convinced him. Santa got him a great new fishing game, some books, and new cooking things. He loves the Melissa and Doug pizza and a stacking hamburger game. The walkie talkies were a big hit, except he doesn't understand how to use them and then when the "grown ups" tried to use them they didn't work so they are going back. One of his major favs was bubbles for the bath, and 2 match box cars. This kid is so easy! Wall-E was exciting, but then he forgot about it so we haven't even watched it yet.

My family spoiled him. The super cool red remote control corvette is still popular around here, along with the slot cars. Poor Ryan wasn't allowed to play with them because daddy and uncle were playing with them. Ryan also got some "big brother" stuff, and a digital camera. The quality seems kinda yucky, but he loves it. My sister found this awesome fire truck that opens up into a little city and that gets a coveted spot on the couch. My sister in law is very creative. A few months ago she asked for family pictures of Ryan so I have been e-mailing her. She laminated them and turned them into a memory game.

Ethan is enjoying his new Wii games and the Wii fit. I will not play the fit because it tells you your BMI...no thanks. It told Ethan he was obese (not even close) and that he was 38...he just turned 34 so that made him sad. Mr. Wii fit also said he had balance issues and asked if he fell down a lot, LOL. So, there is no way in hell I'll be getting on that thing until I've been on weight watchers for at least a year, had some lypo, and probably a boob reduction :) I jumped on the creative bandwagon and created a "12 dates of Christmas" for Ethan. He is super easy to buy for and wants a lot of stuff, except everything he wants is pricy. And then he tells me not to buy it. I know he wants a new computer, and hopefully that will happen soon. In the meantime, I put together 12 things for us to do together and I hope we can get it done before baby gets here. I found a car show nearby that I thought he would enjoy, but also added some things in there I would like too. So, we have a date to go to Build a Bear because we did that when I was pregnant with Ryan. I also wanted to go to a pottery place and make something for each of the boys rooms. Ofcourse there is dinner, movies, the hockey game we went to today, stuff like that.

I am super excited about the new comforter set for our room and all the new towels. I love soft towels. Ours are 9 yrs old! I should be commended that I still have towels that were wedding gifts. But they have been fraying for a while now and the new ones are yummy. My mom got me new bath mats and accessories as well. A massage is in my future and I cannot wait. My sister got me an awesome wallet and did I mention the amount of books I'll be able to get at Barnes & Noble? I'm a nerd, I like to read. A lot.

Now it is time to take down the tree and unpack more boxes. I like to extend Christmas and leave the house looking like a whirlwind hit it, but Ethan already moved everything to where its supposed to go. I like having my pile of gifts to look at. Oh well. Someone should take down the tree and the other decor. Oh, and write the New Years letter to send with our New Years cards that goes something like "hey we moved."

Bye bye Laura Ingall

2008-12-23T15:03:00.000-08:00

At last, we have internet! That was a long 10 days. I would also like to admit for all my Little House on the Prairie jokes I have never seen an entire episode. It just wasn't my kind of show.

Today I dropped Ryan off with my dad and did a 2 hr marathon shopping run and finished all my Christmas/Ethan birthday shopping. After he wakes up from his nap I'll take him back to grandpa so I can turn in our keys from the rental house, go to the cable place (again) to turn in our old box and hopefully get a newer model for this house--one that is compatible with Tivo. Then its off to the grocery store to get whatever we need for Christmas dinner with my family and the day after because Ethan's family is coming here and I'm making lasagna.

I haven't wrapped any presents...Ethan's birthday is tomorrow....i'm pregnant and tired. My sciatica is yucky and i'm getting charlie horses that wake me up in the middle of the night. Nothing quite like a limping pregnant lady :)

Cleaning day

2008-12-21T12:32:00.001-08:00

Again I am back at the old house for a day of cleaning. FUN. Ethan is taking care of the carpets, I have cleaned all the toilets/counters, and my sister is on the way to do the oven and bath tubs for me. Its 53 degrees in here and my hands are like ice. Other than that, we are good. We aren't scheduled to be out til the 31st so it will be nice to be done early.

On other fronts, we still have no TV or internet. You would not believe the run around I've gotten. After getting different explainations from the 800 customer service line and having another installer show up for an "appointment" to install only to discover we had no lines (duh) I had enough and went to the office to talk to an actual person--yes I did.

Person #1 was not helpful, just confirmed what the technician had told me Friday morning (the one that showed up for an appt no one seems to have scheduled) that we were scheduled for a construction crew to come the 24th--which was unacceptable. Then she informed me it would probably be another week before they would do the install and NO we could not schedule an install now thank you very much. As we were talking another lady asked for our info and got on the phone. As I walked out she called me back in.

Person #2 was awesome. She had a supervisor on the phone, told him my story, and told him I wasn't being rude or anything I was just trying to find out what was going on because I keep getting different stories (pending due to weather, have to shut off power to the whole street, blah blah blah). Then I also mentioned again that I would appreciate if they stopped sending technicians to my house. When she told the supervisor that another tech had showed up and no one knows why it was scheduled, nothing showed up on the computer so I mentioned that was a safety issue--they need to know where their techs are.

Then, almost like a Christmas miracle I got a call from the supervisor on Saturday saying he came out to the house personally and everything was ready, and that I have an install appt Monday. Yeah! What I don't quite understand is how he came out (saw him out the window and it was about 30 min) and fixed the problem without construction. I was told a line had to be run under the street from the main cable box to our house...maybe the first tech was wrong. Who knows. I just know we're back in business tomorrow and I can't wait! We did miss lots of shows because however Ethan left the Tivo/cable box here it didn't work. Sad. He missed ultimate fighter, poor guy.

As for Ryan, he still does not get out of bed, just calls for me around 11:30 and again around 4. I know it could be worse so I am dealing. Last night we were out of town at a Christmas party with my college friends and he fell asleep in the car around 9 and it was the first night he slept all night! We set up another night light with timer and he calls it his special light. I think its set around 6:00 (we need to push it back now that we know it works!) so he knows he is allowed to to get up if the light is on. Such a fantastic idea--thanks to my friend Jenn for that. She has used it with her two oldest girls. Soon we'll get him a clock but for right now the timer is totally working and we're rocking it.

I can't wait to catch up on everyone's blogs! This week I'll be working on making my downstairs presentable for company since we are hosting Christmas for my family, then Ethan's the next day. I believe all boxes are out from downstairs...upstairs is just another issue all together!

Disaster or not?

2008-12-14T11:21:00.000-08:00

We are moved! I can't believe it only took 2 days. The movers took all the big stuff Friday, along with my dad's truck and Ethan's truck full of stuff. Saturday Ethan's dad came with a truck and trailer, plus his sister's truck and my dad's again and we're in. I'm actually standing at the island of the old house right now, its 50 degrees in here, but I HAD to check my e-mail. We still do not have cable/internet at the house. I will check with them tomorrow and see what that is about. Good thing I haven't missed a new episode of The Office. Our Tivo is still here, hopefully recording what it is should. Life without tv/internet is interesting. Its not like we have nothing to do...but you can only unpack for so long. Ethan is forcing Star Wars on me again and I fell asleep 2 nights in a row during Return of the Jedi. Hopefully we'll get the Wii plugged in today so we have something else to do at night because I'm not sure how much more Star Wars I can take.

Ryan was super excited when he saw his bed Friday afternoon. He actually napped at the old house in his crib because everything was already out of his room. My brother brought him over and he loved it. Bed time routine went fine, though it was later than it should have been which always makes him wake in the night. He slept for 2 hrs, then called for me. I just couldn't leave him alone the first night in a new house and a new bed. He never cried, just wanted to make sure we were there. Then he slept for 2 more hrs, then one hour, then 20 minutes. After the 5th or 6th time of getting up I told Ethan it was his turn. This was around 2:30. Then Ethan never came back. Ryan conned his daddy into sleeping with him. Needless to say yesterday we all were exhausted. Ryan took an early nap that he desperately needed (in his bed) with no problems. Last night we had him in bed, stories done at 8:00. He slept til 12, needed some reassurance, then slept again til 4...but was AWAKE at 5. Much better. Maybe I was expecting too much? What I can't get over is that he never got out of the bed, not once. It seems comical to me.

Well, its 11:30 and I should head back to the new house and see if my boys want some lunch. A shower would be nice too :)

FINALLY

2008-12-11T14:07:00.000-08:00

We finally closed on the house today. Luckily the sellers were kind enough to give us keys and let us start doing what we needed to do, or we wouldn't have been able to start until today. With everything that happened last week with the late disclosure it seems like it took forever. Then our lender decided to charge us $200 for not closing on time. We busted our butts to get there and sign documents, but turns out the sellers signed late in the day...blah blah blah. Our lender wouldn't fund and let title hold onto the money so they didn't fund til yesterday and we recorded today. Ethan let them know he wasn't impressed with that at all but its over so yeah! Now I can put the utilities in our name.

We've taken several loads of boxes over and most of my kitchen stuff is unpacked thanks to my mom. I had the carpets cleaned today and the cable guy came but our house had not been wired for cable. Apparently the builder didn't run the line because the homeowners said they were going to get satellite. Now they have to have a crew come out and run the line from the main box across the street to our house. Sounded like a major job but it doesn't cost us anything. I also got a tip from the guy about requesting a newer cable box so we won't have issues with the Tivo. Half the time it changes to channel 5 instead of 55, etc.

The movers come tomorrow between 9-11 to move all the furniture. We've got a lot to do tonight to clear the way for them and we should be sleeping at the new house tomorrow night. That will be Ryan's first night in his big boy bed. Probably not the best idea since he most likely won't get a nap and will be super cranky but we are not setting up the crib. I'm taking the bolts off and sending it in for the recall so he just needs to deal. We're still having sleep issues with him and I'm not sure what to do. A big part of the sleep program we used was letting him cry it out, which we can't really do with his asthma. Crying just starts a coughing fit. Cross your fingers that he adjusts well and loves his new bed. He hasn't even seen it yet. I'm hoping to have everything set up before he sees it. I got him a race car night light that I think he will love. It just seems like such a big deal, another milestone away from him not being a baby which I know he's not cuz he is 3 but still. I keep being reminded how big he is getting and it doesn't make me sad, I just realize it really doesn't last long. When you are in the thick of it and up all night and exhausted it seems like it will go on forever and then BAM they are 3 and pedaling a tricycle!

So...

2008-12-08T13:29:00.000-08:00

After all the drama, I got the keys to the house Friday evening. I took pictures this weekend but then my batteries died so that will have to wait. Friday was also the day I took Ryan to the doctor because he had the non-stop cough again, just like Halloween and I had a bad feeling about it. His ped didn't know we went to urgent care on Halloween, but we had been in the office in September for the same thing....3 months, 3 bouts of either bronchitis or a cold w/ asthmatic episodes. He oficially said he has asthma and we are no long in the "pre" stage. He should not be wheezing or coughing like that with a normal cold virus. Not sure if it was bronchitis or not but because the antibiotics worked last time, we got a super 3 day dose. We still have the liquid albuterol but it takes too long to work, like I used it Friday night because I didn't want to walk downstairs for the other inhaler and we were up for 2 hrs. One of those hours was spent wrestling with daddy in our bed. We have an inhaler for when he coughs and he is also supposed to start a preventative inhaler daily for a year. Ethan and I are researching to see if we want to start off that drastically or maybe do an every other day. We'll see. I'm going to find out about seeing an asthma specialist as well, just for peace of mind. The sleep has been CRAP over here, and though he is better, the inhaler seems to keep him up or not let him fall back asleep so he was in our bed AGAIN last night. He cries, he coughs, the wheezing starts.

We finally signed our moving papers last night and are scheduled for this Friday. Woo hoo. Then we accidentally booked the carpet cleaner and the cable guy at the same time. It was such a pain to get the cable scheduled that we are just gonna leave it alone. The carpet guy was such a great deal I don't want to mess with it either. Turns out I can't put the utilities in our name until the house closes because they want proof I own the house. Do people go around pretending to be other people and turning their utilities on and off? We should close today or tomorrow so I can do that, along with changing the locks.

I didn't want to change the locks until everything was oficially recorded with the county but also because the homeowner has few things to do. We are finding out more of the situation. Turns out the husband didn't really help much with the sale or move. The wife moved out a while ago and she has been doing this all herself, eventhough he kept living in the house. One of the things he left her to deal with was a bunch of oil in the storage. She found a company to remove it, they came and tested it, and because he mixed oil with other things they are charging her a ton to come remove it. She is also getting two windows fixed for us because of all the drama with the lawsuit against the builder. I'm giving her every opportunity to follow through on what she said she would do. Her marriage is ending, they had a business that closed due to the economy, not a happy situation. We also knew a faucet in the master was broken. Ethan spent the entire weekend trying to install a new faucet, it was broken, then realized the brand new sink they put in but didn't ever caulk or use had a leak. We ended up buying a new sink and faucet and we're trying to find out if she kept the receipt or something so we can get a credit. It really took Ethan all weekend. Just shows you how important those separate sinks are!

My dad painted Ryan's room. We realized in better light that the room had two shades of lavender. What we didn't realize was that the ceiling was also the light lavender. Oops. Surprise dad! Ethan went ahead and painted the ceiling so my dad wouldn't have to.

Just a lot of stuff, but I know it will be great when we are finally in. Baby update: the new nurse at the office tried to say i gained 10 lbs in a month. no f'ing way. i'lll say 5 or 6, but not 10. she definately took a long time trying to read the scale so i'm just gonna blame her. I got thrown the circumcision question as soon as my doctor found out it was a boy. That is so much pressure and I wasn't ready to deal with it yet, but because I'm having the baby in another city our ped doesn't go there so we'll have the on call ped so we would have to arrange for the circ separately, if our insurance even covers it. I just don't want to think about it. Let's see, next appt I get to do the dreaded drink the sugary drink yucky stuff which I failed with Ryan, and get my rhogam shot. Super fun.

As a tease, I took some photos at 22 wks in the same clothes I had with Ryan...they will be uploaded soon.

R U KIDDING ME

2008-12-04T14:52:00.000-08:00

No, this post isn't even about Ethan changing his mind every day about the movers. It's not. Because I have told him he is not allowed to talk to me about movers again until he simply says YES or NO and then cannot change his mind after that. He is turning into his mother. The indecisiveness (bad spelling) is really getting to me!

We had a call from our realtor yesterday (2 days before we are supposed to close) saying the seller had just told her (they are neighbors) that they are getting a settlement as part of a lawsuit againt the builder. Its one of those class action types, common in newer homes. Our realtor never participated in the suit because she didn't have any problems with her home. According to the sellers they didn't have any problems either but joined "just in case." So, this should have been disclosed to us during the disclosure process weeks ago.

The problem is that when they sign the settlement agreement they could possibly be signing away our rights as "successors or assignees" to the home warranty. The home has 2 yrs left on a 10 yr warranty. Not to mention, what kind of damage are the home owners complaining about? Is this minor or MAJOR. We don't think it is a deal breaker per se, but it is a delay. Then we find out if we don't close tomorrow our lender is going to charge $450 a week to hold our loan. The attorneys for the homeowners said to get the documents from the county which will take days/weeks. I have the attorney I worked for in the loop guiding me which is great. I was even able to get online and get the case # and some info within about 5 min of hearing about it.

My attorney thinks they are doing this on purpose and were hoping we would just let it slide. I'm not sure if that is the case but if they were going to go ahead and let us close tomorrow, they would be signing a settlement agreement and they were no longer the home owners. Didn't they think of that? Didn't it bother them that they were going to get money to fix something that could potentially go wrong in their home, if it hadn't gone wrong already, but not own the house anymore and leave us with this potential problem?

**********************UPDATE**********************************************

We got late breaking news last night and we closed this morning! We were able to get information from the attorneys about the problems some homeowners in the subdivision were complaining about. They were very minor. We trust our home inspector so all is good. We are getting the keys in a few hrs so i'll have pics.

Thanksgiving, shopping and meet Baby

2008-11-29T15:30:00.000-08:00

**this was written a few days ago but I was waiting for the ultrasound pic to scan, there will be a more current post soon about how my husband is driving me crazy and might not want to hire movers :(

I am not looking forward to getting on the scale at the doctor this week. I cannot say no to pumpkin pie with a lot of whipped cream. I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving. We had our standard family gathering complete with lots of Wii play. Apparently pregnancy has hurt my bowling skill, but my tennis has improved.
My mom and I hit the stores Friday morning around 8am. No way you were gonna see me at Kohls at 4:00. No freakin way. We went to Walmart first. I'm not a huge fan, but don't hate it as much as Liz and Judy. I like Target a gazillion times better, but if I am shopping with Ryan we have to avoid Target like the plague. Target is attached to the mall, and right outside the mall entrance is the dreaded, germ infested play area. YUCK. There is no way for him not to see it. There is a lot of kicking and screaming and it is best to avoid it. Target and Walmart both had the same things in their ads that I wanted, so we hit Walmart first because its in the same area as Bed Bath and Beyond. Plus, they had 1000 thread count sheets for $20. That was at least worth a peek.
The store was not set up well, and it was full of people which made me hot. When I'm pregnant I am a heater. They didn't have anything I wanted, or at least I couldn't find what I wanted (cupcake maker for my niece, Indiana Jones movie for Ethan, aquadoodle for Ryan's friend and those darn sheets) but my mom found some clearance pull ups for $10. Total score.
At BB&B we checked out the bathroom accessories and my mom picked up a few of the items I liked. Then I bought some decorate your own ornaments for Ryan to make for his grandparents. While standing in line I started to get light headed. Half a bagel probably wasn't enough to eat, but the heat, I'm serious, it was hot. Everyone is in coats and I just couldn' t take it anymore. I had a 3/4 length sleeve t-shirt and white tank underneath. I pulled off my tshirt thinking I was wearing my plain tank. My luck, its my "MOTHERHOOD, ITS HOT" tank. Lovely. Too bad at this point. I felt so much better and spent the rest of the morning walking around in that while everyone else was in parkas.
Then it was time for Target. Insert bells ringing and sun shining here! They store was set up very well, had a lot of their ad items at the front of the store, they had people around to help find stuff for you. I loved it. They had the aquadoodle and movie I wanted. They had some stuff my mom wanted, including some $3 and $5 movies for me.
Next I was off to Sears to get some jeans for Ethan and Old Navy to look for something I knew they didn't have, followed by a stop at Gottschalks for my mom to order Ryan's matress. I guess with her coupons, senior discount and a sale it was just as good buying it there and it was a much better quality matress than the actual matress stores. I'm not sure a 3 yr old needs that nice of a matress but whatever. My mom dropped me off and we headed to Ethan's sisters house about an hour away to have lunch with her family, his other sister, his dad and his step mom and her kids. Ryan napped for about 40 minutes. We had lunch at a philly steak place, then went to a fish hatchery to feed the fish. Ryan absolutely loved it. Then he got to play more with his cousins and we headed home. He fell asleep in the car and transfered great to the crib, but woke up 4x that night. This is getting super old super fast. I know I need to let him cry and "follow the rules" but when he starts coughing and gagging I can't take it. Plus, if he barfs who is gonna clean it up? You know it will be me so I'm trying to avoid that at 3 in the morning.
Ethan and I saw Twilight and lunch had lunch on Saturday. The movie was ok, but could never compare with the book. Some parts were so cheesy. Ethan hasn't read the books and he liked it, though he said it was "shmoopy." I guess I am bias.
And here is baby Skywalker. Luke happens to be a name in the running, though nothing is close to being settled. Ethan is ecstatic. I like it, but I also like others. I have accepted that if we named the baby Lucas he would only call him Luke so fine, its a possibility as it is. There are issues with it being a hard "k" sound. I think that requires a certain type of middle name, probably longer and can't end in an "r" because our last name ends in "r" and that makes the flow all wrong. That could just be me. Anyway, I started calling him baby Skywalker and it stuck.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T19:17:00.000-08:00

There are many things to be thankful for this year, and I decided a list would be the quickest. I love lists. This is ofcourse is no particular order, just the randomness of my brain.

1) My family

2) My friends

3) That we finally found a house that is move in ready and has everything we said we wanted (ok, Ethan didn't get a separate closet but COME ON)

4) That movers are going to move all the heavy stuff

5) My hard working husband who still tries to make it home in time to be a daddy

6) Health insurance

7) Grandparents, aunts and uncles who love my son and want to spend time with him

8) Veggie burritos w/ no lettuce and lots of sour cream

9) Play group

10) Starting the journey of motherhood all over again and hoping I handle the tough parts better this time around

11) That I can drive to my parents in 10 minutes

12) That my husband tells me he loves me every day

13) Ryan's laugh and smile

14) That we are generally healthy

15) Sleep when I get it

16) Cancer research that will hopefully allow my grandma and aunt to live longer and have a better quality of life

17) For my dogs who just love us no matter what

18) Target

19) Books

20) Pasta and bread

21) Freedom, choice, and the right to vote

22) Separation of church and state

23) That my friends are different than me

24) Teachers

25) That there will be more cars, trains and trucks in our house very soon!

#2 IS A BOY. Yay! Ethan is very excited that we don't have to buy anything, I think he actually said hallelujah. LOL. Little does he know, you cannot have a baby and buy nothing. Oh please. I am also over the frog crib bedding Ryan had so there is definately some shopping to do. And we need a new crib because the other one was recalled. Names. Don't ask. We threw some around at dinner tonight and we have a few on the "both don't hate it" list but nothing either of us loves. Happy Thanksgiving everyone from me and my boys :)

Tomorrow is the big day

2008-11-25T13:30:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow (assuming baby cooperates) we get to find out if Ryan is going to have a brother or sister. Time really is going by fast. I will be 21 weeks and am already half way done. My gut says girl, just because when I think of the baby its a girl and I think in the "she" frame of mind, but the ultrasound I had at the doctor's office at 18 wks makes me think boy due to the "that could be a labia or scrotum." Sure looked like a penis to me. I guess we'll leave it to the professionals.

Woud you believe

2008-11-23T17:33:00.000-08:00

that we had another leak? Ok, not on the magnitude of the water meter leaking into the street for 4 days and having no water, just a constant drip in the downstairs bathroom sink. It would fill up a gallon pitcher within 2 hours so it wasn't small. Ethan worked late the night I found it, I think Thursday night, but he took a quick look and said to call the property manager. NO FREAKIN WAY. I called my dad and he fixed it in about 5 minutes, then took Ryan to his house so I could meat with my nexting packing surveyor alone. I was embarassed about my mess of a kitchen but I explained I had just went through a period of no water, and we had cooked the night before so...anytime anyone cooks here it equals a mess. I swear my dishwasher is smaller than normal. Anyway, the estimate was even lower than the first. The guy threw in a discount. Yay for knowing people in the biz! Ethan is going to try and save us about $400 and pack up the kitchen. As long as I'm not the one doing it I don't really care, except for he already packed up my cookbooks and I was supposed to make beef and rice caserole tonight and I cook by the book. That just reminded me of "you kiss by the book"....Romeo and Juliet.

Saturday I went to a Christmas tea with my mom and her friend. It benefits the local hospital. Then we did some shopping. I was having new bedding issues and my poor mom is suffering because it is supposed to be a Christmas present from her. I found a great black and cream with a small stripe of red at Target, but that required our furniture to be painted black. Said painting cannot be done by me for a while due to my "condition" and after that I'm pretty sure I won't have the time til both kids are in college! Ethan told me "good luck" which is his way of saying NO. NEVER. My mom said my dad would do it but once the furniture is moved to the new house I really don't see it making its way downstairs anytime soon, plus not having dressers or a bed could be an issue. So, with a heavy heart I scrapped that idea and moved onto the brown and blue/teal motif. I hope it doesn't go out of style. I looked high and low and finally found something, though honestly, nothing is going to look super fantastic with rustic pine in my eyes, other than flowers and WE HAVE DONE THAT TO DEATH.

Bed Bath and Beyond had a great set but it was $200. Just seems pricy since I have been known to change my mind on those kinds of things...what happens if I decide to paint the furniture next year? I would feel terrible that my mom spent that $. Then we found an huge set with 2 sheets, all kinds of shams, throw pillows, valances. It was a SET. It would have been about $150 on sale. We looked at bathroom towels and accessories because you might as well do the bathroom too. I am a bit bored of the green anyway, I think I've had some form of a green bathroom in every apartment/house. Plus, the downstairs bathroom is already painted green so I can transfer my stuff down there. Then I get a call from my mom this morning "have you seen the Target ad?" They had a very similar set, not so many extras, for $55. And as I was looking through the Target ad I noticed they had some games on sale, Ethan noticed a great gift for our nephew, it just couldn't get any better!

Luckily the bed set was nice looking and feeling. It just wasn't cotton and scratchy. I grabbed the only king left since I like my comforters big, and called my mom to tell her I was getting it. Then she had me buy extra games for Ryan to keep at her house. $4 games! Also in the ad was the phone we were thinking of upgrading to but Verizon is a pain with that. Ethan has the main line so his upgrade was $49 for that phone, mine was $69. Totally fair, right? That is the online price, it is even more in the store. We got the phones at Target for $39 each and it took all of 5 seconds. We did have to go to the Verizon store to get help setting them up and the lady had a bit of a tude because we didn't buy the phone there but hey, I shop where the deals are. I am my mom's daughter. It was very productive. Now mistake lasagna (beef and rice caserole) is in the oven, Ryan should be home soon from playing with auntie, and I'm tired.

That is Ryan in his halloween costume at our play group carnival. Since he didn't get to trick or treat this is all I have. You can't see the tail but he was a dinosaur.

A few good things about having no water

2008-11-20T09:37:00.000-08:00

1) can't do dishes
2) can't do laundry
3) you can pretend you were going to make a very fancy meal that required lots o'water but couldn't and then you make your son have Mac n Cheese and your husband a frozen pizza

The water meter leak is finally fixed. I had to call the property management AGAIN...what a surprise. The poor guy was here for 5 hrs and I had no water all that time. I was very nice and accomodating to him, though I think he was irritated he was the one sent out. I clipped a rose bush that was in his way, I offered him tools, when it got dark I brought out our huge spotlight, I offered him bottled water. My favorite was when he said he had to go to the hardware store and he would TRY to be back. Awesome. At some point he had to call in reinforcement and the city came out. I think he called the after hours emergency number, who knows. They will be paying a pretty penny for that! By 7:00pm he was done and we had water.

The other good news is that we have homeowner's insurance. Trust me, we thought of not telling them about the dogs. The dog question is new. Ethan doesn't remember them asking in 2002 when we bought our other house, or if they asked they didn't care that we had boxer mixes. We consider ourselves super responsible pet owners. We don't leave them in the backyard while we are gone. So, any damage they do is to our things. They aren't outside barking. They spend most of their time inside with us and that usually involves some type of laying down or licking. But, because we know that they are not social with other dogs and because they have a history of food agression around eachother, we wanted to be protected if for some reason they were to get out, or if a kid got hurt. Kids can be very persistant with dogs and though I put them upstairs when we have playdates, you just never know. I think most dog bites to kids occur when they are pestering the animal but still, it is our responsibility.

Farmers did not have a breed exclusion, but at a very high price. Another lady I talked to was super nice and she said to send pictures of the dogs so her underwriter could check them out. I was nervous and trying to find a good picture that didn't make Shelby look so huge and not show so much of her pit mix, but it all worked out. They were approved with no problem!

I also had a surveyor from a moving company come yesterday. I was super busy. Luckily for me MIL came to watch Ryan, but he was clingy and was all about mommy. Anyway, the estimate was for about 2k which is much nicer, but that did include us doing a lot of stuff for ourselves. I am waiting for the go ahead from Ethan to set that up. Its $140 an hr for 3 guys and a truck. The other costs are in fuel charges, insurance, and materials costs. Those darn boxes are pricy.

I got a lot accomplished, at least on paper yesterday. I have a feeling this weekend will be full of more packing. We're also hoping to go see Twilight. I am excited for that, and Ethan said he would see it because it has vampires. He really doesn't know the story line but I"m not going to tell him its more of a teen romance. If I do that I'll be stuck at the 007 movie and I can wait on that :)

I've been on the phone all day...

2008-11-18T14:50:00.000-08:00

My mind is swimming in numbers. I feel like the phone has been attached to my head, except for the hour I went and got a hair cut. I have bangs now...Anyway, Ethan did a bunch of on-line quote requests for homeowners insurance. We are having difficulty because of the dogs. No one cares that they are mixes, and they are being counted as "attack" breeds. My boxer pit mix who is scared of paper and lets Ryan jump on her is an attack dog. The other dog is a problem because she is a shepherd mix. We have been told no several times so we are getting anxious now. I decided to field the calls today. Normally I would let them go to voicemail and have Ethan take care of it, but I was trying to be nice. I would answer the phone, take down the info, hang up the phone and the phone would ring again. I was trying to get out of the house to get my hair cut and running late. I like to do my makeup when I get my haircut so I get the "full picture" effect with the new cut. Maybe i'm just weird. Sadly I didn't have enough time so the hair is cute but my face looks so tired from being up with Ryan 3x last night and pregnancy fat face.

Then at noon I called the city because we have a water meter leak and I called yesterday at 8am and no one had come yet. Wouldn't you know it the call never got logged in. Imagine that. I'm sure that never happens. The lady was very nice, and even called me back to let me know someone would be out today. The guy showed up about 2:30 to let me know the leak isn't on the city side. Ofcourse its not, its about a milimeter to the left. So, we are responsible for paying for this leak that started on Sunday, and it took them a day and a half to come tell me its my own fault. Thank you. Then I got to get on the phone again to our property management company to let them know. I'm sure its just a receptionist and they don't care, but I wanted to stress to her that the leak started Sunday and that we have to pay for all of that water. And, please make sure you let the maintenance guy know that we already called the city...do not wait 3 days and tell me to call the city. She is noting it on her maintenance request. Oh good. Anyone need some water? Its in our gutter. We will be responsible for the drought next year.

I need a nap, but its just about time for Ryan to get up. I have a mover coming to do a survey tomorrow afternoon which means I need to hang up the heap of clothes on my dresser so we don't seem like slobs. Oh, and we're out of hangers because we never hang this many clothes at once. I get to spend this evening going over all the disclosures and hazard paperwork for the house. Fun. I'm going to do something that doesn't require any brain power.

6 ounces

2008-11-17T09:18:00.001-08:00

I was reading in one of my pregnancy books that at about this time my boobs would have gained about 6 ounces. That is a big fat no. I had to go to Lane Bryant to buy bras this weekend because even the maternity extenders weren't working on my regular bras. Luckily there was a sale so I got some for $16.99 and 19.99 which is good. But...uh...let's just say I went up an entire cup, and 2 width sizes. Oh yes. And I'm 20 wks on Wednesday. With Ryan I went up a cup size but never width. I don't think Lane Bryant carries a bigger cup size than what I bought. This could get very scary indeed. Another motivation for me to lose weight after the baby is that maybe my boobs will shrink back down to a more normal earthly size.

Ethan is on a packing frenzy and it is cracking me up. He has never helped before, unless it was packing or unpacking the office--mainly to set up the computer. I remarked that the $4k estimate must have really scared him and his reply was that he was never around to help when we moved. Apparently he forgot all of the moves but the second one. Our first move was from a rental house to a house we bought across the street and I know he did not pack. When we moved from Sacramento to Oceanside he was already working in Carlsbad and living there for a month before I came. I supervised the movers. He flew back on a Friday night, and we got in the car Saturday morning with the animals and drove back. A little over a year after renting a house in Rancho del Oro we bought our house. Another move...don't think he packed anything. It is true he is the muscle behind the moves so he does deserve credit for that. We had professional movers last time (paid by the company). So even though he thinks he wasn't around to help (nice try) he was for all but one, which was a company paid move.

The good news is that the office and guest room are packed. The bad news is that anything I set aside was also packed. He packed the hallway linen closet, along with all of Ryan's medicines. Why he didn't think that it might be a good idea to at least leave some motrin out, I don't know. He knows Ryan gets raging fevers and we need to be prepared. He told me the box was easy to get to so I asked him to get the motrin so I could give Ryan a dose before his flu shot today...you know he didn't. There is no way I can get to the box either. I"m looking at them right now. Maybe if I was spider woman and could climb to the top which is almost to the ceiling.

We are supposed to get a formal estimate this week. Since we have already done two rooms, and weren't planning on having the movers pack the play room, I think we've decided to get a quote for them packing the kitchen and moving all the furniture. I think we can do the rest with Ethan's truck and my dad's truck. plus some help from other family members. My dad has agreed to paint the purple room which is going to be Ryan's room. I told Ethan and I thought he would be excited because he hates to paint. Apparently his idea to get out of painting was to put Ryan in the other bedroom and call it a day. I guess the room assignment discussion did not register very long in his brain. When I mentioned that his idea would possibly put a baby boy into a bright purple room it did throw a wrench in it. And, even if we are having a girl the color is too bright for me anyway, but I do like purple....much better than pink. So, painting will happen. I don't know why I am discussing logistics with him. I'm going to be the one home and coordinating movers and carpet cleaners and whatever else needs to be done.

Ok, something that makes me happy :) If you are going to be pregnant anytime soon, you need to check out Old Navy. I have been anti Old Navy jeans for a while, due to the fact that their sizing is CRAZY. Their lengths are never the same, even on the same cut of jean. For cheap jeans I like the Ana brand at JC Penney. Anyway, my mom had a 30% off coupon for Old Navy so we were there raiding the clearance for stuff for Ryan next year. They had some cute maternity trouser jeans with no panel. They are stretchy with a regular waist, and have small panels on the side. THEY WERE WONDERFUL. I will definately be able to wear them after baby and not be embarassed that I'm wearing maternity jeans. They did have some panel jeans but they were like low rise and then the panel...they were weird.

Time to get ready for Ryan's flu shot. Poor guy has been once a month since August. The virus with high fever and swollen gums, the weezing, the bronchitis and now the flu shot and his 3 yr check up. Let's hope they haven't run out of lollipops.

Movers are expensive

2008-11-13T13:37:00.000-08:00

We have been professionally moved before, and man was that nice. We didn't have to deal with picking the company or anything like that. I told them when to show up and we moved. Gotta love it when the company pays for it. Well, Ethan's company already paid to move us out here, so its on us. And I know, I really know, how it makes everything easier. Just not sure its $4k easier! Holy moly! Or holy kamoly as Ryan would say. We're just moving across town. I want to say it was only 5k when we moved from Sacramento to Oceanside. Its by the hour, and thats fine, but then there is a fuel charge and another tax and a blah blah blah. My aunt was in the travel and relocation department of a major lab for over 20+ years. She gave me some contacts, and that was the $4k. Who knows what it would have been without the aunt discount. So, I really think this is on us. Hopefully I can convince Ethan to pay our entire rent for December and we can pace ourselves, and not try and cram it into a few days. Hello, we've got Thanksgiving and Christmas coming!

Did I mention Ryan is off track? Yeah. I am really missing my 6 hrs a week of alone time. He has been singing songs from school constantly and I think he is missing school too. His version of Twinkle Twinkle is hilarious. He has not been too helpful with some of the packing I started either. I made a box of baby toys to keep, stuff he got for his 1st birthday about and he doesn't really play with. He keeps taking stuff out of the box and saying "mom look at this...wow." Toys go out and in that box all day. The other problem is that we have nowhere to store any of the boxes I pack. I'm also donating some toys he never really played with or that annoyed me, and he keeps finding those too.

I should go pack, but I think I have some good stuff on Tivo instead. I took a nap yesterday and that was a big mistake, so I'm going to push through this afternoon and not nap. I didn't got to bed last night til 12:30, and then about 15 min later, just as I was falling asleep, Ryan woke up. His new standard is waking up about once at night. If I let him cry he starts the cough. Stupid asthma. Last night when I went in he told me he missed me. It almost made me cry so I sat in the chair with him and held him for a little bit, thinking of the song "You're gonna miss this." I had just heard it on the CMAs and while I don't think I will miss waking up at night, for what seems like years, nor will I miss 5 years straight of diapers (ok, i'm hoping #2 is better at potty training but it could realistically be 6), I will miss him being small enough to sit on my lap and knowing that I bring him comfort. I will miss knowing he thinks mommy and daddy can fix anything and that we are his favorite people. All to soon we are going to be annoying to him and his life will revolve around friends. So, last night I thought about that at 1am, eventhough I hadn't been to sleep yet, as I sat in the chair with him and he fell asleep almost instantly, and kept him close and safe because how can you not love that face.

Oh...Ethan cleaned our shower. I love him.

Room assignments

2008-11-10T13:09:00.000-08:00

The house inspection went well on Friday, so everything should go through as planned. We didn't expect anything major in a house that is 6-7 yrs old, but you never know. It was the same inspector from the last house, and he kept joking that it was a terrible house and we should have kept the water damaged house, LOL. He said try as he did, he couldn't find one thing with the downstairs bathroom. He told us one of the bedroom closets was missing the track on the bottom, and that they are about $.39 at Home Depot and Ethan threw up his hands and said "that's it, we are backing out!" It really was funny. So, I think our biggest expense will be getting two windows fixed. They are dual pane, but have cracks in just one of the panes. Because the are on the stationary part of the window the entire window needs to be replaced. No idea how much that will cost, but the inspector said we could get a glass guy to come out and remove the cracked pane, and leave it a single pane til we were ready to pay for new windows. GOOD IDEA! There were other small random things like one of the sinks in the master didn't have a faucet. I have a feeling she used it as a make-up area, and didn't want someone turning the water on, but who knows. There also were some bonuses. We had only seen the house once, and it was getting dark then. It has a whole house vacuum which is awesome for the hard wood downstairs, a pantry in the kitchen I totally missed, and tons of shelves and cabinets in the garage for Ethan. Time to get packing.

We are getting quotes from movers, just to see if its worth it. Well, we know its worth it, but we need to see if its affordable with Christmas coming up, etc. We have started to pack a few boxes. The next thing is room assignments. Ethan is very "whatever" about this, but I think its CRUCIAL. One of the things we wanted was to make sure the kids rooms were away from the master. Its hard when they are small, but honestly, a few years down the road and everyone is going to want their space. We made the mistake of putting Ryan right next to us at this house, sharing a wall. He can hear us, we can hear him. I hate that we have to walk by is door to go into our room every night. It is literally 2 steps from our door to his. I can hear him roll over in his crib if he hits the side. No joke. We have a wooden bed rail and if you stand in his room with the door closed you can hear someone roll over in our bed.

There are a few ways to lay it out since we have a 5th bedroom. There are 4 bedrooms upstairs and one down. There is a full bath downstairs w/ a shower. The current owners use it as an office and Ethan mentioned he liked their set up. Fine by me. I hate having to go upstairs to use the computer anyway. Plus, after the baby gets here, it would be nice to be able to run in and check e-mail really quick downstairs while I'm doing other things. We discussed making that room a playgroom so we could close the door and not have to pick up EVERY SINGLE DAMN TOY before we leave the house (plastic eating dogs) but then the office would have to combine with the futon/guest room/craft desk and Ethan is not a big fan of that. I hear him. He doesn't ask for much.

So, I think we've decided the playroom will be in the formal dining room since we prefer the eat in kitchen style. The formal living and dining room is a very large space, but we don't think Ryan needs the entire area so hopefully we can keep him in the dining area. Its right off the kitchen and he can be easily monitored, better than the layout we have now. That just leaves the bedroom situation.

The master is right as you go up the stairs, there is a bedroom next door on the right, but the common wall is the master closet and toilet area, not the actual bedroom. Still, about 2 steps out the door and just too close for me. I think that will be our guest room with my craft desk and whatever else we store in there. Honestly, we've only had one guest in 2 yrs. I use the futon myself when its too hot and I want the fan on, or if Ryan is sick and he is in our bed and Ethan can sleep on the futon. I've also decided when we're gone that will be the room the dogs have access to upstairs, instead of our room. Tired of them sleeping on my bed all day.

There are two other bedrooms down the hallway, they are fairly far apart, and the wall they share is closets on both sides. I'm thinking of putting Ryan in the farthest room, and the baby in the middle. They are both across from the bathroom. This way I won't have to walk by Ryan's room going into the baby's room at night, but it also means we'll have to walk by the baby and do bath while he/she is sleeping, assuming Ryan goes to bed later. Can't really fix that, other than having Ryan take a bath in our room. In a few years after all the sleep stuff is taken care of, I think it is the best solution. Now someone needs to paint Ryan's room because its purple!

Other than that, we made it through Ryan's party. It rained about an hour before it was supposed to start, but then cleared up. We had to dry down the jumpy and all the tables and chairs outside, but it worked out. Ryan had a blast. He was so happy and full of smiles all day. He got some rockin gifts, which gave me permission to donate some of his old toys and box up the "baby" toys for #2. I'll post pics later...i totally always say that.

Woo hoo

2008-11-06T09:14:00.001-08:00

I got a high 5 from the doc. 2 lbs in the last month, for a total of 10 so far. Not bad for 18 wks. She asked if I was proud of myself, and I kinda am, though I do miss the french fries. I keep telling myself its less to lose later, but at the same time, this is most likey (pretty much definately) my last pregnancy and I would rather not be preoccupied with weight. She did an ultrasound but it was so fuzzy. I'm glad they do the big ones at the hospital. I have terrible spatial skills so everytime she pointed stuff out I just couldn't figure out why that body part was where it was. I need to see the head first, then go down. I am pretty sure our baby is a frog because the legs were bent and then all of a sudden they flew out, like a frog jumping. And those were the longest baby legs I have ever seen. Long. When I told Ethan he said "better long legs than a big head." True. So true. We had a great open leg view, but it was blury. I saw something, but she was quick to say it could be a scrotum or labia...so, not helpful. Had she not said that I would have thought it was a penis, but she did not say penis. Now a little part of me is thinking boy, but then again, I have never seen girl parts on an ultrasound. 2-3 more weeks and then we do the one at the hospital, then we'll pay for a 3d/4d later on for some extra confirmation and totally cool photos.

Maternity clothes shopping is so not as fun the second time around. I remember wanting to wear maternity clothes way before it was necessary. Now, I'm pushing it off as long as possible. I wore some under the belly capris and shorts for comfort but now, there is no getting around it. I had a gift card for Motherhood so I grudgingly went a few days ago. I thought I should get some jeans since the two pair I have (one Old Navy one Motherhood) are under the belly and for some reason are annoying me, and they are tight in the thigh. Apparently I have moved up in size. Lovely. I also need some long sleeve shirts, nothing fancy. The girl was very nice and helpful but its hard for me to get excited about buying clothes that I'm going to wear for 5 months and then NEVER want to look at again. I don't mind paying $25 for jeans, but I tend to keep my clothes for years. I see a purpose in that. Its like these are almost disposable, though I'll give them away and I know someone will use them. I should say that if anyone is planning to get pregnant soon, you need to check out their Secret Fit jeans. I am not a fan of the belly panel, it feels too constricting and makes me itch, but this is NEW and Fabulous. I is very sheer and light, and you can roll it under your belly if you want. It was a definate find. So, I walked out of there with a pair of petite jeans I can wear with flats, a regular pair for boots, and 2 tshirts = $100. Not bad, but then I realized one of the "t-shirts" that has roushing ont he sides cost the same as the jeans. Come on now. Yes, the shirts are brown and black. Do not start on me about having color in my life.

Pest inspection today, house inspection Friday. Oh, and Ryan's big family party is Saturday. Still have not ordered the food...

The big weigh in

2008-11-05T10:02:00.000-08:00

Today is my 18 wk appointment, and I am hoping to have a better outcome than the 7lbs in one month from last time. I also expect a better tude from the doctor, maybe even an apology. Ok, that won't happen. But i'm pretty sure I've either gained no weight in the last month, or 2lbs at the MOST. Too bad they can't weigh me naked. We will also be having the talk about the spinal. Part of me is just so drained I'll just deal with it. My insurance has said I can switch doctors if I stay in my group, but there are no female docs in my group near here. Well there is one but I've heard yucky things about her. There is also a payment issue because our "group" has a maternity plan where you pay about $300 total to the doctor, and that is it. Fantastic. No hospital bill either. BUT, the $300 must be paid by 28 wks, so its kind of a payment plan until then. I don't want to leave and screw the doctor out of money for the care I've received, nor do I want the new doc not to get paid. Its such a mess. But I am happy to have insurance. We'll see what happens.

This baby has not been very active which makes me nervous so hearing the heartbeat today will be good. I think within a week of about now Ethan was able to feel Ryan already. What I've felt I think was something else because it was too high up and I'm pretty sure the uterus is still very low right now. I'm kinda hoping she'll do an in office ultrasound...how awesome to know the sex first and then get to tell Ethan in a special way. Either way, the hospital ultrasound is coming up in about 2 weeks. I have not had any feelings or dreams, but when I refer to the baby in my head I say "she". It just comes out that way. I say baby or he/she whenever I'm talking to anyone because I truly don't know. I knew with Ryan, absolutely knew. This way we can paint at the new house if we need to, and I can order the new crib (ours was recalled and yes Ryan is still in it). I want a white crib if its a girl. Don't ask me why. There are no reasons these days.

Oh, I went to Motherhood Maternity a few days ago to use a gift card. More to come on that later!

Vote-House-Sleep

2008-11-04T09:20:00.000-08:00

VOTE! Please vote so this whole election will be over with. I cannot imagine how draining it is on the actual candidates and their families cuz I'm worn out and have done nothing. This will be my first time at the polls because I usually vote absentee. Luckily I just have to walk down the street. And I say this and truly mean it, just vote, I don't care if you are voting against the candidate I'm voting for, I'd rather you vote the opposite of me than not vote at all. If we all meant that maybe there would be more understanding in this crazy world. I know Ethan's vote cancels out my vote, but I vote anyway. Its really hit me lately that not everyone can vote the way we can. SO GO ROCK YOUR VOTE. Be proud of your vote, and if your candidate doesn't win, give the other guy a chance. The job is brutal.

House...drum roll....we got it! Our offer expired at 5:00 last night and around 3:00 our agent called. She had some news. Apparently another offer came in at closer to what they wanted (can't go into all the details) but they gave us the opportunity to come up in price because we were there first, and because they know our agent. It does pay to know people. Ethan knew I wanted the house and didn't need much convincing. I'm just glad its over. Now he is in stress mode because he is the $ guy and all THAT stuff falls to him. It was a tense few hours because I couldn't get a hold of him and they needed an answer ASAP, but it all worked out. If the inspections go well, looks like we'll be moving in about 30 days. Another holiday move.

Ryan is getting better, but not 100% yet. The antibiotics worked great at getting whatever bacteria he had that made him cough, but he still has lingering cold symptoms--the original start of this whole deal. He still needs the albuterol and cough medicine at night, and wakes up several times. Whether its not feeling well or it has just turned into a habit, I don't know. I was up 4x last night, 3 of them were every hour. I AM TIRED. The bags under my eyes prove it. We decided to store the bed on Sunday, which was a good move. Now we can just take it straight to the new house. No reason to lug it up stairs here, put it together, then take it down again. I e-mailed our sleep consultant an update on Ryan. I do it every year around his birthday and she said he was going to bed too late and that was why he started waking up a lot at night again. This started way before he got sick. So, after he is sick we need to re-think bed time. I keep thinking, I'm going to be getting up with an infant in about 5 months and I'd rather not be getting up with the 3 yr old too.

Time for me to shower so I can drop of the check at escrow.

Our first urgent care visit and Happy Birthday Ryan

2008-11-01T13:47:00.000-07:00

Ryan's runny nose turned into a terrible cough on Friday morning. It lasted all day and was pretty constant. No meds worked so around 7pm we went to Urgent Care. I figure our first visit took 3 yrs so that is pretty good. It seems that the asthma makes a regular old cold much worse. I was worried about the cough getting worse over night so it was worth the $20 co pay to see if there was anything to be done. Ryan was running a 101 temp, which isn't too high for him, since his normal is around 99.5, but its still something. The nurse took his temp in his mouth, first time ever, and he didn't even close it. She tried to tell him his temp was 99.8 and I just laughed at her.

The doctor said his lungs were clear, but that with the way it sounded and wasn't letting up, he was worried about bronchitis, especially with the possibility of asthma (which i'm pretty sure is a given from now on). He prescribed antibiotics, but no cough meds because all the good ones have codeine and he is too young for that--darn. He said to keep using the albuterol (which i had already tried once). By the time we picked up dinner, got home and put him in a steaming shower, it was 9:00. The antibiotic, along with the albuterol and cough medicine seemed to do the trick. He woke up a few times, but not coughing. It was his normal "i need help with my blanket" or "hold me in the chair." I said he could come lay with us, then regretted that when it took him 2 hrs to fall asleep after trying to sing songs and play drums on the headboard.

Today has been much better. He is hardly coughing at all, hasn't had any cough medicine since 2:30 am. He'll get another dose of antibiotic tonight. He's had one dose of albuterol, boy does it make him hyper. I can deal with a runny and stuffy nose. The constant cough broke my heart. He couldn't even eat. He would just cough up whatever he put in his mouth. Not to mention his coughing put my gag reflexes into overdrive. What a birthday!

We had birthday breakfast at my parents' house and he got to open his cool new mini bosch tool set. He loves it and has been "fickazing" everything in sight. Tomorrow we pick up his big boy bunk beds and we are trying to decide if we want to put them in storage or go ahead and make the transition. I'm a little worried about doing it when he is sick, plus, there is a chance we could move in 30 days so it would be easier to store them and only have to put them up once.

As for the house, we countered and now we wait. We did find out they showed the home to another couple yesterday who supposedly "loved" it and are gonna make an offer. I hope that as just a ploy to get us to do something. They also have an open house planned for Sunday. We think our counter is fair. If they get something higher, we know we lose it. I'm trying to be positive and if its the right house for us it will all work out.

Now, it is my nap time.

Survival and sick

2008-10-31T09:57:00.001-07:00

I am so partied out! Ryan's halloween party at preschool was cute, but cold. It decided to (finally) get cold over here. They had little stations set up for the kids, and they tried to do a parade but getting 21 3 yr olds to follow in a line doesn't really work. The big party here was fun, but we couldn't do any outside play due to RAIN. Again, the pregnant me is much happier in the cooler weather but 15 kids stuck inside...It all worked out. No one seemed too excited to paint (yipee) so I was able to save my floors. We made the foam halloween magnets and that was just crafty enough, and not messy. My house is a wreck, but that is fine. Ethan managed but just kept saying "thats a lot of kids." Pictures to follow.

Ryan had a runny nose yesterday which I thought was allergies, but today has an added cough so I'm guessing we have another cold. I don't think we'll be venturing out much tonight, maybe just to my parents. Kind of a bummer.

On the housing front, they countered our offer, which was expected. Now we (Ethan) has to decide what our counter is. We are so close, I hope. It would be great to be moved in by December and have time to get settled before April. I have to keep telling Ethan how much I love the house and hoping it doesn't come down to haggling over 5k, because in the long run, that is nothing. Keep the fingers crossed.

Tomorrow

2008-10-29T13:52:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow is the big play group halloween/birthday party. HERE. 22 kids, 20 adults. Poor Ethan. He has no idea what he is in for! And paint will be involved. Scary. I managed to disinfect most of the toys in the playroom, and vacuum. I also went through Ryan's book basket (its a laundry basket) and took out the baby books. He even gave me permission that it was ok to give them to the baby--yater. I have a few spots to carpet clean in there (thank you to my dogs--honestly, they need to quit eating plastic and then throwing it up). Ethan's mom is coming over later, hopefully to keep Ryan occupied so I can finish decorating and cleaning up whatever needs to be cleaned up. Cuz right now half of our "L" couch is in the entry way. Not very welcoming for guests, but Ethan wanted to clean the carpets in the family room and I said YES, PLEASE. That was last weekend. You do not need to ask why the couch is still in the entry. YOU ALREADY KNOW.

I have dips for the moms, jello (in halloween shapes) for the kids, with the Chex "autumn" mix (it has m&ms and candy corn), cupcakes, goldfish and water/juice boxes. I think I'm covered. The treat boxes came from Lillian Vernon. They are shaped like pieces of cake, and when you put them all together to make the full cake it is so cute! There is an organic lollipop from Trader Joes (though I'm not sure there is really a point to buying organic from Mexico--what's up TJ's?), Yogos (which i think are gross but the kids seem to enjoy) and some halloween bubbles. Ethan is in charge of cleaning up the backyard tomorrow, in between us taking Ryan to preschool, then going back for his halloween party there. He is gonna be high on sugar!

Our bid on the house expires tonight at 5:00. Isn't it nice that the agent was just printing out the offer yesterday (tuesday) when our agent called to confirm she had received it--one of many calls she had made to her. She e-mailed it to her Sunday night. UG. The agent did say she was going to try and get the sellers to take it, especially since we are nearing the "holiday" season and people tend to quit house hunting then. Not to mention there are no other offers AND they are priced way too high. So... more waiting. I am willing to give them some extra time, but not too much because every day we lose looking at other homes...not that I want to keep looking.

Back to cleaning...wish me luck for tomorrow. Or, wish Ethan look. I hope I don't find him curled up in his car in the garage just waiting for the madness to end.

We are not defeated

2008-10-26T10:23:00.001-07:00

Don't count us out. We put yet another offer in on a house, or if its not already in, will be in today. I had a moment of clarity yesterday (odd as of late) when I drove by one of the houses we looked at last week. It happens to be across from our agent, listed out of our range. She showed it to us because she knows it is overpriced (way overpriced--by about 40k at least). She also knows the sellers. They are divorcing and need to sell. It would be nice to deal with them instead of these banks. When I drove by I just couldn't figure out why we would let it go without at least trying. So, we put in what we think the house is worth, according to recent comps and Ethan's other research. Our agent didn't scoff at us like we were way off, so I think that is good. Its going to be hard for the sellers to stomach I'm sure, especially when its less than what they paid for the house brand new in 2002, but that is the reality of the market right now. We sold our Oceanside house as the market was starting to go down, and we took a lower price just to be done with it after 3 months on the market (and 3 months of paying a mortgage and rent). If they want and need out, they should at least counter.

The house is great, has everything we wanted. The only con is that the backyard isn't done. Nothing. Its dirt, just like when they bought the house in 2002. They either never got around to landscaping or couldn't afford it. That is another reason Ethan thought the house was way over priced. It has great upgrades: hardwood all downstairs, plantation shutters, solid surface counters in the kitchen and it is immaculate, but those almost get cancelled out when you know a backyard could cost 20-30k. We ofcourse would do it ourselves, like we have done before (we meaning Ethan and whoever he begs to help him).

I printed out the invitations to Ryan's family party today, now all I need is stamps. It is hard to find a store that sells stamps here. I don't know why. Rite Aide...no stamps. A friend offered to make all the cupcaks for Ryan's playgroup party and I said YES. That is one less thing to do. We went to Trader Joe's yesterday and I got the rest of the organic lollipops for the treat boxes. There is still much halloween decorating to do, but at least I won't have to bake anything that day--which is also the day of Ryan's preschool halloween party so I have to attend and lose some precious party prepping hours. For the family party we are doing catered deli sandwiches and pizza. Less stress for me. Ethan is cleaning the carpets as I type :)

In other grand news, Ryan has slept through the night til 6:30 for 2 nights! He was having frequent wake ups before, and the crying would make him cough...stupid allergies. The coughing would get out of control so I would have to go in there. Hopefully that is now over.

Oh...Ryan goes off track for the month of November. Uh...

On the brighter side...

2008-10-24T15:47:00.001-07:00

Popeye's opened :) If we can't have the beach to remind us of San Diego, we can have Popeyes. Watch me put on the weight now Dr....bleep.

Nikki is doing better. Ethan got her to eat her dinner last night and breakfast this morning. No more vomiting, though she is still drinking more water than normal. I believe the liver meds are working. SIL/vet tech said we didn't need to bring her in, since we were doing what they would tell us to do anyway, and the $100 blood test probably wasn't necessary since this has happened before. So we wait. If she has another unexplained episode we'll do some further testing, and I guess its a possiblity she can be on the $80 liver meds for the rest of her life. If she is acting fine, I'm fine. I think she knows we would never let her suffer. She gets a lot of alone time with me on the couch when Ryan naps, and with Ethan at night when Ryan is asleep so I'm confident she knows we love her and trusts us to do the right thing. The funny thing is that Shelby got to eat 4x yesterday! I kept forgetting to put Nikki's food up if I left the room. Then BAM it was gone. She is so sneaky. She used to be so obvious and you could hear her chowing down. I never heard a peep. And she still thought she was gonna get dinner. As Ryan would say "silly dog."

I am trying harder to set my brain right and accept some help for Ryan's party. I realized its next Thursday and I have nothing done, not even a list, which is very unlike me. I enjoy a good list. Time has been getting away from me and I haven't felt myself. We probably missed out on bidding on 2 houses we liked just because I couldn't process everything right now. I apologized to our agent and I hope she understands. Its weird how all of a sudden normal stuff seems so hard to keep up with. This weekend I will make a list for the party, coordinate help, and relax.

Pictures to follow of Ryan at our playgroup halloween carnival. They outdid themselves. There was a mini cemetary and one of the headstones was for Martha Stewart and it said "she dug her own grave." Isn't that hysterical?

Gonna be kind of a downer...sorry

2008-10-23T10:52:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot of stuff going on the last few weeks and it all seems to coming to a head at once, but at the same time, I hope settling down. My grandma has lung cancer. She is not or ever was a smoker. She is 78 and healthy for her age. In my whole life I don't remember her being really sick or having to be hospitalized. She works in her garden everyday, and can hoe weeds faster and better than me. Up until recently she mowed her own lawn which was almost half an acre. And, she has been caring for her daughter (my aunt) who is going through chemo for ovarian cancer (which has spread). At the time of testing and doing her lung biopsy they found out she has three blocked arteries around her heart. Now they are waiting for the oncologist to talk to the heart doctor and coordinate treatment, if any. She always said she didn't want to go through chemo, after seeing what it can do, but she is open to at least discussing it now. Surgery is not an option due to the location of the tumor. This has been bringing back feelings and memories of when my grandfather passed away 3 years ago, almost to the day. He died unexpectedly (though he was in a nursing home) 4 days before Ryan was born. Something I haven't even come to terms with yet because during the time when I should have been grieving I was having a baby and just surviving. Cancer on my dad's side of the family is rampant and its scary. Very scary. So, if you are a praying kind of person or someone who sends out good thoughts, send them out for grandma. I pray for her peace of mind and body.

Our dog Nikki is sick again. She threw up twice this morning, wouldn't eat, wouldn't move, then scarfed down water when I brought it to her--a sign of a liver/kidney issue. Again. This time she did not get into anything or eat anything bad that we know of. Believe me, its usually obvious. I called my sister in law (vet tech) to make sure I could give her the liver support meds on an empty stomach because she wouldn't eat. She also suggested some Pepcid and pain meds to hopefully perk her up. I dropped Ryan off at school, went to my pedicure appt, ran to Ride Aide for the Pepcid, and came home. She peed in the house, expected since she never went out in the morning. I cleaned that up, gave her the meds and some treats and cheese to hopefully not make her stomach any worse. Now we wait. If she is having another liver episode, this means its happening on its own, without the trigger of her injesting something bad. Which I think means we are in the beginnings of liver failure or cancer. It was only a few months ago that we went through this, agonized over possible cancer, then found out her values went back to normal after the liver support meds. I just can't have her suffer. And I can't watch her look sad.

I had more to say since I got some info on my hospital and the spinal situation, and we looked at some houses yesterday, but I think I've said enough for now. I just need a break.

Best line ever

2008-10-21T13:45:00.000-07:00

I am a sucker for romantic movie quotes, though Tom Cruise's "you complete me" was a bit much. I tend to forget them within a few hours, but I heard something today I thought was the best line ever--and it was on TV. I started watching "Raising the Bar" on TNT. Its a new show this season and I love it. After working in a law office for 4 yrs I'm into court shows, not the CSI kind of stuff, but the actual court antics/lawyers, etc. Anyway, one of the public defenders has been interested in his boss (the head defender) but it wasn't very obvious. They have good chemistry and friendship, but I kinda thought they dug eachother. She had a little bit of a jealous moment and he FINALLY picked up on it, though she denied it. And then he said this:

If you were to say you were available, no other women in the world would exist.

OMG.

Always get a home inspection

2008-10-20T10:01:00.000-07:00

ALWAYS. Sadly, we are cancelling our offer on the house. We had our inspection on Sunday--well, not even a real inspection. He didn't even go inside. He saw signs of water damage outside, most likely a defect from when the house was built 10 yrs ago. The inspector had seen these signs before, and thought it was going to be pretty severe. The only way to really check was to get special permission to make holes in the walls and look for moisture. Basically, he thought the flashing in the windows was installed wrong, or the stucco was put on poorly. It was just too much to even think about dealing with. Every window had water staining, especially the windows at the back of the house (3 bedrooms, family room/kitchen). The window that was replaced upstairs was most likely because they thought it was leaking, but really it was the wall seeping. I am thankful we had such a great and honest inspector, and that we didn't get a surprise after we moved in. It really could have been a mess and cost us a ton of money--like taking off all the stucco and replacing all windows, and dealing with any mold which could have meant replacing boards. You do not want structural issues in a house. So, we have to start looking again.

Looking at houses was fun in the beginning. Now I am just tired of it. I have probably seen 50+ houses, and only been excited about a few. Hardly any (hardly) are move in ready. We can only take on so much with a baby on the way, and wanting to keep money in the bank for any emergencies. I'm sad Ethan won't get his 4 car garage, and might have to settle for a 2 car which I know won't make him happy. It will also mean I will have to find other places to store things if we don't have that extra space.

In other news, 3 yrs ago today was my due date with Ryan. So, wait about 12 more days for the real thing :) I also found out that the hospital I'm supposed to deliver at doesn't offer epidurals, they only do spinals. From what I've researched they are usually used for c-sections. You are numb higher, but its only one injection. They don't leave the tube in. Its one injection and it only lasts for about 2 hrs. With Ryan it was about 5 hrs from the time I got the epidural til Ryan was born. I'm not sure I could hang on that long and wait for the spinal. I'm going to check with my OB at my next appt and see what she says. Its possible I might have to switch hospitals which means switching doctors almost midway through my pregnancy. I'm ok with it, but I wonder if its weird to switch because I want the option of an epidural.

Look, I scrapblogged my header!

2008-10-16T19:09:00.001-07:00

I hope no one plans on me doing anything productive (like doing 3 days of dishes) because I am busy on scrapblog.

What else is going on? I got a flu shot Monday. Exciting. I did my research and both my primary and OB said to do it. Apparently getting the flu during pregnancy is very dangerous for the baby. No side effects, other than a sore arm for a few days. Next up is the AFP blood test. Because the 8 (count them 8) I have already given was not enough. I don't go back to the doctor for 3 weeks, so I'm watching the scale, hoping it doesn't go too out of control. I still haven't had any french fries, but man, I'm adddicted to the turkey/bacon/avocado on sourdough at a local deli. YUM.

Nothing new on the house. We still don't have a signed contract, though they have our deposit in a cashier's check. The inspections should be scheduled for next week, but not until we see some signed docs. As of right now the house is still active on the market and I don't like that. As soon as we get an escrow number that should all change, but there are still people walking through my house! They were so quick to accept our offer (2 days) and want a quick close, but they seem to be lagging in drawing up the "final" paperwork. Ethan and I figured out how much money we can spend on repairs and the new flooring. Its important for us to keep money in the bank for an emergency fund (you go Suze Ormon) so if the repairs are too much, we have to say goodbye to the house. It will be sad, but not as sad if Ethan lost his job and we had no savings.

Ryan is experiencing serious 3 yr old anxiety. He worries if I will pick him up from school, he worries Ethan won't go in and get him in the morning. It is a cycle of him asking the same thing over and over, us reassuring him, then he asks again. It is exhausting. I have told him we will ALWAYS get him, then modified it to add grandma or grandpa or auntie or uncle. So many people love him this kid will never be left anywhere. I'm assuming its another 3 yr old control issue. Today at the pumpkin patch, after we did all the scheduled stuff with the preschool everyone split up. No way you can keep about 20 preschoolers together for too long. Ryan was so worried we lost his teacher. We had to go find her so he could see she was still there. I was chopped liver I guess. I kept thinking, how am I gonna do something like this with 2 kids. Ryan has been disobedient lately, and one of the things he is doing is running from me. I HATE THAT. DESPISE. He has rarely ever gotten a spank, but that is one thing that sets me over the edge. Especially when he is running from me in a crowded area. Am I supposed to 4-wheel with my stroller or bounch my little baby in the bjorn as I run after him? He will even run from me at home which is lame. He is trying to take a toy with him to time out (on the stairs). Not sure why he thought that was ok. I know, consistency consistency consistency. Workin on it.

My beef and rice caserole just beeped, and Ryan will be home soon from an afternoon of playing with uncle and grandma and grandpa. My brother is so awesome and is gonna be a great dad. This was his first week "out in the field" as a deputy sheriff and he has Thurs/Fri off. He called me this afternoon to see if he could take Ryan. Um...yes! Then ofcourse they go to grandpa and grandmas, but still, me home alone. Ethan is working late, Ryan will have already eaten dinner. I will be up all night because I took a nap...darn naps.

The House

2008-10-14T10:10:00.000-07:00

So, that is Ethan's dream house with the 4 car garage. The one that needs all new flooring up the stairs and the entire second floor (minus bathrooms). The house that needs to be entirely repainted on the inside, at least the second floor before we move in. The house that is gonna be work work work. We got the call Friday evening that they accepted our offer, but countered for a 5 day inspection period and wanted to close escrow on Nov. 14. Everything is electronic and we told our agent to "click" yes and we were ready, though we were pretty sure we wouldn't close on the 14th because title and escrow are never on time. Ethan didn't think we would have a problem funding the loan in that time, and we were assured we could get the inspections done in 5 days.

My mom drove by the house on Saturday and called to let me know "there are people in your house!" Because the final contract had not been drawn up, the house was still listed as active. Ethan asked the agent to take us to the house on Sunday during the day because we saw the house at night. The house still had electricity, but some of the rooms were missing fixtures so we couldn't see everything. I already had plans for an in home spa party in Sacramento so I couldn't go.

Ethan took a bunch of pictures and when I asked him if it was good or bad he said he would tell me later. Never a good answer. Turns out there is some water damage in the master bathroom. He thinks its a confined area but with that stuff you never know. They also noticed a lot of random wiring and exposed wiring, along with tons of missing fixtures so we're probably going to need an electrician to come in and help with that. There is a water line that is cut, and they can't figure out if its the main or not. They usually turn the water off in foreclosure properties, but not cut the pipe. So...everything depends on the inspection. We put less money down this time because we new we were going to have to pay for new flooring and a stove, plus random stuff so hopefully the inspection doesn't find stuff that is very expensive.

This also will change our move in date. Even if we close on time, its going to take a few weeks to do the flooring, painting, and whatever else they find. Ethan was hoping we could be out of here Nov. 30 and not have to pay rent for another month. I on the other hand think we should pay our December rent and take this nice and easy. We don't really have the capacity to move in a weekend like we used to do. I can't pack anything heavy or move anything heavy, Ethan hates to pack...issues. He mentioned getting movers and I said that was the only way we could do it quick, but that still would only give me 2 weeks to paint (not me paint), clean and get new floors upstairs. I'm a mom and we're pretty magical, but I'm not sure I'm that kind of a miracle worker.

Today we are turning in our "addendum" that is a standard foreclosure form that basically says they will pay for nothing and they will charge us $250 for every day we don't close on time, which will officially open escrow, change the listing to pending, and get people to stop looking at our house. We had to add another addendum because Ethan is a licensed agent, though he is not affiliated with a broker and hasn't worked in real estate in the last 2 yrs, but we had to disclose that.

I am trying to be optimistic about it all. During Judy's home buying process she said she had to put good thoughts out there, so I'm gonna do that. It is a great house, has great bones, and we will not outgrow it. I have to believe its the house for us, where else do you get a 4 car garage in town? I have my family around to help with all the other stuff so I just gotta let everything else go and have a good attitude.

This might be our house

2008-10-13T13:27:00.001-07:00

Details to follow...( you are lucky I was able to find the photos after Ethan downloaded them on the computer).

1989

2008-10-12T20:29:00.000-07:00

Thanks Judy, I graduated 8th grade in 1989...I'm pretty sure I was only a fan in middle school. I do remember them having a new song in high school because I was driving when I heard it, but I was no longer a fan. I HAD MOVED ON. Promise.

Where was I last night?

2008-10-10T08:59:00.000-07:00

At the NKOTB concert!!!! Oh, how I have dated myself. But at least I was not there in a fluorescent shirt and a side pony tail. I'm not exactly sure what they were thinking (crimped hair also) because I liked NKOTB in middle school, and I graduated 8th grade in 1998 so I'm pretty sure the fluorescent/side pony tail days were long gone. One of my favorites was the two guys with the "MY WIFE MADE ME GO TO THE NKOTB CONCERT" t-shirt. Hilarious. And I really felt bad for them until I saw them under the spot light and they were dancing. We had a great time trying to figure out why men were there. Sometimes it was obvious. For example, if they were wearing a new NKOTB concert t-shirt before the concert even started...or hand made a NKOTB 08 jacket. Ya, obvious. But there really were some guys there for their wives/girlfriends. Maybe they were the designated driver for the 30 something crazy woman in their life living out her adolescent crush. You could spot those guys because they sat down the entire time or they stood there was definately no body movement at all. I'm happy to say I was not the oldest person, nor the only pregnant person. One of my friends was pregnant as well, over 20 weeks, so I was in good company.

I am happy to report I did not know any of their new songs, and was just there to relive my middle school obsession. They are just as cute as ever, if you though they were cute before. They are appreciative of their fans, and did a long show. Natasha Beddingfield opened up for them. Ethan likes her but too bad for him because not only would he not step foot in that concert, I don't even think he would have dropped me off in the parking lot.

One of the members (Danny if you care) mom passed away from breast cancer so they have a specific shirt where all the proceeds go to the Komen Foundation. I thought that was fantastic, except it was $35 for a tank top that I would never wear outside my house.

All in all it was fun, I danced, I sang. I got to hang out with friends. I got home at 1am and never really fell asleep. I drank caffeine at dinner so I would stay awake and it worked too well. Only 4 more hrs til nap :)

Let's make an offer!

2008-10-08T14:15:00.001-07:00

We saw three houses last night, two that we really liked. It was about time. I was excited about them both, then got some info that has us leaning to a specific house. But...the details.

House #1

1) MOVE IN READY. No lie. Even the carpets looked brand new. For a foreclosure, that is unheard of. You have no idea the icky carpets I have had to walk across. Ew.

2) Some Pergo flooring downstairs (we are anti carpet but know we need to deal)
3) 2 closets in the master
4) Ethan's beloved master sinks are separate
5) good upstairs layout so no kids room will be right next to ours
6) 3 car garage (yay for Ethan!)
7) spa in the backyard w/ deck
8) great neighborhood and local school, lots of parks
9) Totally in our range

The cons. No grass in the backyard. The spa, though I always wanted one, with kids it makes me nervous, though in general I think its safer than a pool. This will easily be fixed with a locking spa top, and the deck is raised so we can gate off the deck as well. But still, another thing to worry about. It also needs a stove.

House #2

1) Huge, 5 bedrooms and good layout w/ a great kitchen/family room
2) large backyard w/ grass and cement
3) 4 car garage (Ethan described it as heaven)
4) all tile or pergo downstairs
5) great neighborhood, local school is a "magnet" school, several parks in walking distance
6) master has 2 closets
7) pantry in the kitchen!

Cons. Needs new flooring on the stairs and the entire second floor. Also needs a new AC unit. House had it but they took it with them. Should be fairly easy to buy a new unit and hook it up since the wiring is all there. But, come next summer will be an issue if its not done yet. Needs new paint throughout. There are some funky colors and flower wallpaper border...ick. Also needs a stove and some tiles replaced in the kitchen. Other than the flooring we could move in (after a good clean) and deal with stuff one thing at a time.

I wanted the MOVE IN READY easy way out, but you should have seen the twinkle in Ethan's eye when he stepped out into that garage. Its a 2 car, with a 2 tandem, and there is another separate single garage door that leads to the backyard. Really, he could live out there. We could park 2 of our 3 cars and have ample storage to make him happy. He doesn't ask for much. Then we got some info saying we have a good chance so we are making an offer tonight. Supposedly this bank does a quick turn around so ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

As for my brother's video, I'm not sure I can post it because he is in uniform. I'll check.

Conversation with my doctor (who i now kinda hate)

2008-10-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

Dr: You are putting on the weight fast. You gained 7 lbs (8 total on their scale) in 4 wks.
B: Yes, I know. Not good.
Dr: I don't mean to harp. I just don't want you to be unhappy. If you are only going to gain 25lbs you've gained too much too soon.
B: (in my head) who decided I was only going to gain 25? isn't that a bit unrealistic when I gained 40 last time?

Trying to sound repetent: I need to exercise more.

Dr: No, you need to eat less. You are not eating for 2. All of this weight is going on you, not the baby.

B: OK (wanting to cry)

Then it took a while to find the heartbeat which is nerve wracking, but all is well. And apparently I am now an emotional eater because I went across the street to the new Target that I love and bought a bag of Archer Farms salt & vinegar chips and ate some on the way home. Cuz that helped, I'm sure. I also bought a food stacking hamburger play thing for Ryan's birthday. He has been into "cooking" lately but his daddy won't let him get a play kitchen. So, I decided he could get some play food. This one is also a stacking game so its cool, and it has an electronic menu and it will tell you in what order by color or name, etc. how to stack the hamburger. Love it! I also looked at the play cooking stuff. $20 for a few small pans and a pink oven mit. No thanks. Because I am my mother's daughter, I went to the housewares dept. and looked at their sets. I can get a name brand set of 30 pieces (some I could use for myself with a tray) for $20. Ryan would love that even more because they are real. I'm excited about that. So, I think a few more food pieces, and the Bosch kids drill set I got him and he is good to go for his birthday!

And just for fun, my brother got tazered at work yesterday. It is not a requirement but he decided to do it. Talk about dedication. The video is hilarious though.

3 yr old = bipolar & has anyone refinished furniture?

2008-10-05T09:48:00.000-07:00

I was commenting to Kalyn's post and asked "are all 3 yr olds bipolar?" and I thought I would answer myself with a resounding YES YES YES.

Ryan has less than a month to go before the big birthday, but I would say the last 3 months have been pretty difficult attitude wise. They have also been some of the most fun, as I listen to him explain things to me and show me things. I love listening to the conversations he has with himself and his toys. His hand gestures are hilarous! The way he reasons things out-or at least tries to- shows me that his little brain is working overtime. It was about 10 months ago that I made the call to the speech clinic and reported to the intake coordinator that my 22 month old son had no words. Zero. The language explosion of the last year has been amazing, but at the same time, has caused me to wonder about the difference between a true delay and just stubborness. Can you have a diagnosed delay of 1 yr but then be age appropriate after 5 months of therapy? I know there was a delay, at 2 he should have had many more words than he had, but what was the underlying cause? Lately, as his stubburon streak has come out I tend to think that was a big chunk of the problem. There never was a cognitive issue, as with most other delays. Usually when there is one problem there is another. As I watch this new 3 yr old attitude, the bi-polar, I know its normal because it seems everyone else is going through it too, but I still don't like it. It would not be abnormal in this house to have 5 time outs in one hour. It would not be abnormal for Ryan to get time outs for the same behavior in a row.

I cannot ignore (but sometimes have to force myself to remember) the loving party of the bi-polar 3 yr old. The unsolicited hugs and I love yous. When he asks me to play with him and actually shares his favorite train without me asking. The way his voice goes up at the end of him asking "mom, wanna go outside with me?" Watching his excitement when his daddy comes home and he goes through a very confusing story about what he did that day. Just hearing him speak is magnificent. I have to remember that we only have 6 more months of just him and I during the day. I just asked him if I could have a kiss and he said "um, yes you can."

Onto furniture. When we finally move I need to do something to our bedroom furniture. Ethan will not allow a new purchase, I won't even ask. That whole if its not broke mentality. My parents bought our set as a wedding gift, so it is now 9 yrs old. I picked it ou, and have no idea how I ended up with it. It is not my style, am I don't think it was ever close to a style I might have once had. Its rustic pine. I was having a phase where I wanted wrought iron on it, which it does have, but really, what was I thinking? I'll post a pic later, but that would require me making the bed and Ethan still has to hook up the camera cord to the computer.

I have thought of trying to re-finish it, going to a darker stain. The problem with that is that its knotty pine and I think it would be hard to cover the knotty parts because they are darker than the other parts. Another option would be to paint it white, but that would feel country to me I think, and nothing good comes of white in this house. My other option seems to be to actually paint it a dark brown, or possibly black. So, let me know your furniture changing experience.

The housing mess

2008-10-04T17:45:00.001-07:00

I'm starting to think we need to pick a date, and if we haven't found a house by then, we need to stop looking. I cannot imagine being hugely pregnant or moving with an infant. It would not be terrible to stay in this house for a while longer. We love the neighborhood. We would have to do some moving around as in the guest room/craft/junk room needs to be a baby room and where is that stuff going? Its going in the office, but Ethan doesn't know that. The office is kind of his space and he is very particular about what it is in here. It would be nice to move before the baby so we could get stuff like this arranged and settled. I had already told him that all of the "baby" stuff could go in the baby room and not the garage, and I would find a way to make it work. Needless to say we have a lot of stuff--we haven't gotten rid of anything, which is good, and bad. Our garage is full and I know it drives him crazy. But why would a jumperoo, 2 swings, bouncy seat, bath tub, bath seat, high chair, smaller high chair, and an entertainment thingy that looks like the big red car from the Wiggles bother anyone? Oh, and the pak n play. And about a gazillion diaper boxes full of boy clothes. Obviously if we get a 3 car garage it will not have 3 cars in it.

We considered changing our search criteria, looking in some older neighborhoods. We could almost pay cash and not have a payment, or at least a very small payment. The joy that would be, but then it keeps coming back to being snobs about neighborhood or schools. We drove around today and saw some nice houses and hope to get to view them soon. The neighborhoods were nice. They just weren't as nice as we had been looking at, the schools aren't new. Really, it shouldn't matter. There was a house I thought Ethan would love because it had a 3 car garage but he said he couldn't even look at it because of the color. I had him drive me by and it is green, but not lime green. Its actually a nice green, not what I would choose for the outside of my house, but not bad. I've seen much worse. I don't want to be those people on House Hunters (HGTV) I hate because they don't like a house because they hate the color of the bathroom. I know stuff can be changed. I just want to fall in love with a house and it really hasn't happened. The one we really liked and put an offer in on twice is back on the market. Fell out of escrow--again. We are letting it go this time. The comps in that neighborhood are going at least 20% over asking price and asking price is all we can pay for that house.

A Ryan funny. We were on the way to the grocery store and he said he saw birds. I asked him what they were doing and he said "flying." Duh. He even had the tone like "are you kidding me?"

In another interesting development, two of Ethan's co-workers want us to name the baby after them. Everyone thinks we are having a girl. I have no clue yet. I am still waiting for a dream like I had when I was pregnant with Ryan. Nothing yet. But, their suggested name was Kristy Dawn...I informed Ethan that it sounded a bit like a stripper wearing daisy dukes. Then my sister called me today and said she had a dream that she saw a bulletin on Myspace that I had the baby and her name was Brianna Dawn. Again with the Dawn? I promised her Dawn was nowhere in the running , and Brianna probably isn't either, just because Ethan's friend's daughter is named Brianna--but you never know. I don't hate it and that was the first criteria to finding Ryan's name. This really is why we need to know the gender. It will take us the remaining months to figure out a name. And have a back up. Except back ups tend to screw you up if you start to like them more than the favorite....oh my.

That was kinda whiny

2008-10-02T13:46:00.000-07:00

I realized my last post was kinda whiny (though true). Thanks for the ideas. It is time to start with the underwear again, though I'm lacking a bit of motivation. Mostly because my back has been killing me for 2 days. It is time to bust out the insurance book and see if chiropractic is covered. I also need to buy more underwear because I found out Ethan threw a bunch away. Apparently that was his way of cleaning up a mess--more than once. Charming.

And I ate 3 donuts today. I'm blaming it on cinnabon for not being open. I dropped Ryan off at school then went to the jumpy place for our playgroup's charity fundraiser. We are doing the pajama program (you may have seen it on Oprah). This is our second year in a row. I had heard our food court just got a cinnabon so I was very excited, except at 9:30 they still weren't open yet and I could not wait any longer.

Because my last post was whiny, I thought I would list some of the things that went pretty well for us as first time parents, so it doesn't seem like everything has been a total struggle. Who knows, maybe some one will be jealous of me! Or not, we did have that sleep issue...

1) Great in the car - by great I mean fantastic, superb, terrific, awesomly awesome. from the time he was born until now it has been lovely. i will not be embarassed to say i prayed for a healthy baby that was good in the car. i knew we would be driving north a lot to see family and there was no way i could handle 8 hrs in a car with a screaming child.

2) Drank from a bottle with no problem - after we found the right bottle. no fancy stuff for this boy. he was all about the playtex w/the ugly brown nipple. Avent or Dr. Brown...oh please. he would not deal with that kind of nonsense.

3) Bye bye bottle and binky - cold turkey my friends. We never looked back. At one year and a few days he was bottle and binky free. Our sleep consultant made us do it, but we did it and were so surprised. The day I quit hand washing bottles and looking for pacifiers was a great day.

4) Sleep from age 1-2 - glorious. Before 1 is not even discussable right now due to the fact I am pregnant and it will make me scared. 1-2 was blissful. 2 got rocky, and still is, but again, I cannot deal with that right now. Just bask in 1-2 and only getting up 4x to check on him because he didn't put himself back to sleep within 10 min. 4x in a whole year! And he slept from 6-5...those were the days.

The PT

2008-09-30T10:15:00.000-07:00

I am still hating the potty training over here. It seems to be much easier and more smooth for others. So, fine, you get that...but something else has to suck for you. Its only fair right, LOL. Just like you people whose kids sleep through the night at 6 wks old. It has to come back sometime....Ok, no, I don't begrudge bad sleep on anyone.

Last week Ryan peed on the couch. Not sure if I already blogged about that or not. That was the last straw an we took a break from underwear for a week. I was going to clean the carpet's for my brother's party and no way was I going to let him pee all over the floor after I did that. He cried about having to wear a diaper or pull up, but then all of a sudden didn't care. Yesterday was supposed to be Day 1 of underwear again but he said no thanks. I just open my mouth and go "uh..." I am irritated because I know he understands the process. He even has a little story he will tell anyone that will listen. It goes something like this:

"If i go pee pee on the potty I get a tic tac and m&m. If I poop on the potty I get a present."

See, he totally knows the drill. Obviously we are missing a vital connection somewhere. There is extra incentive at grandma's house. He gets a present just for going pee. That started because he has to go on the big potty and not a potty chair. My mom and I have bought every matchbox car in town. Those are the presents. But, still a no go over here. Its about control and he is stubborn. He dosn't want to do what we WANT him to do. I just don't know how long of a break I should do, or how much forcing I should do. I don't want this to be a bad experience for him. I also do not want him to be in kindergarten and in a pull up.

white pants

2008-09-26T13:06:00.001-07:00

The first time I wear white pants, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say EVER because I know my mother would not buy me white pants, and I KNOW I never bought any myself (oh wait, I did have a pair of white Guess jeans in middle school) I spill ketchup. I got some maternity clothes from a friend and there were white capris in the bag. I should have just passed them by...but they were my size, and its still hot here. Plus, the regular bottoms are almost completely eliminated from my wardrobe. I am down to a few pair of capris and a few pair of shorts. My "Bella Band" isn't working either...someone who shall remain nameless but is NOT me washed it and now it is too small and feels constricting when I wear it. If you don't know the Bella Band and are going to be pregnant anytime soon you should check into it. It allows you to wear your regular bottoms as long as you can get them up, you leave them unbuttoned and with this panel over them it flattens it out and no one can tell. Now mine is too tight and feels like wearing maternity pants w/ the panel and I don't do the panel. Its tight and it makes me itch. So, under the belly for me which I swear makes you look bigger, but whatever.

I even made it through a play group (where I told Ryan he couldn't have a juice box all due to white pants) with no stains. Then I had to bribe Ryan with french fries because he wouldn't leave, plus french fries are yummy. Why did I think I could wear white pants?

I know I still need to post pics of my brother's graduation, and I've got a lot of stuff going on in my head, but right now it is nap time. I gave them up for a while, but my bed is calling me. I haven't slept well at night because its been hot. I've actually went to the guest room where we have a box fan and sleep in there. Its noisy and crowded when the dogs try to visit me on a futon that is in the couch position. Why is the fan not in our room? Well, because my poor fragile husband would freeze.

Another doctor visit

2008-09-22T14:34:00.000-07:00

It seems that we can't stay out of the pediatrician's office. Ryan got a runny nose on Saturday that was flowing like a river, then abrupty stopped. Then we said hello to a very dry cough. It was windy outside and he was playing out there a lot, so I figured it was allergies. We had a party for my brother's graduation so all the windows and doors were open. He didn't sleep well Saturday night and ended up in our bed. The Dimetapp cold & cough didn't work like usual. He was up every 2 hrs coughing. Poor guy. Sunday Ethan noticed that he was wheezing, and breathing fast. Because Ethan has asthma it was very scary for him and brought back a lot of memories of when he was a sick. He spent a lot of time out of school and in the hospital before inhalers. Even at 33, he is still inhaler dependent everyday. So, he would have a severe case that he did not outgrow. Around 7:30 last night I thought we should take him to Urgent Care because I was scared to put him to bed. I bought some regular cough medicine, thinking the antihistamine was making stuff run down his throat and the cough worse. The new cough medicine was working, but the wheezing continued. How convenient is it that Urgent Care stays open during the week til 9pm but only til 2pm on the weekends? NOT CONVENIENT IS THE CORRECT ANSWER.

Ethan convinced me that because he was acting normal and eating that we could wait until today to take him to the doctor. He woke up at 1am coughing and I gave him more meds, and then he slept til 6. He hasn't coughed once today (ofcourse) but we wanted to have him checked out anyway. His doctor thinks it is allergies, especially because the cough came and went. He said he didn't think this particular time was asthma, but when I told him Ethan's history he said "that changes everything." He gave him albuterol for the wheezing and clariten to help with the allergies and cough, but it sounds like he is "pre-asthmatic" and its only a matter of time.

Its funny how stuff you except to happen doesn't and you are surprised, but then when stuff you expect to happen actually does--you're still surprised. When Ryan was a baby and diagnosed w/ excema I read that it can be linked to asthma, plus Ethan's history gives him a 25% chance. Add in the allergies my mom has had her whole life, and our weird sinus infection stufff, its not surprising. Ethan has told me the struggles he had as a kid, and I hope Ryan doesn't have to go through that. I know the medications are better and he'll be able to play sports just like the other kids, but it still sucks. Ofcourse it could be worse so I will leave it at that. Ethan asked that I don't give him the albuterol unless he was wheezing because of side effects. The clariten is a once a day thing, so I'll take it day by day. Oh...and a lot of saline drops!

I'll post some pictures of my brother's graduation later. It was nice and we are so proud of him. Today was his first official day as a sheriff wearing his badge!

No more naps

2008-09-18T09:24:00.000-07:00

FOR ME. Ryan is still napping, thank goodness. If I nap, then my nightime sleep is non-existent and I end up on the couch watching Sanford & Son. The last two days I didn't nap, and actually slept in my own bed, only waking up once or twice. Woo hoo.

Fall is coming and I cannot be more happier. I tend to "radiate heat" as Ethan would say when I'm pregnant and I'm always hot. I am also a person who needs a blanket to sleep, so I end up getting no sleep because I go between blanket and no blanket and its annoying. Yesterday it was only 77 at 5:00pm. Yay! We are planning our Halloween carnival for playgroup and I am doing a "station", and then we scheduled a pumpkin playgroup for Ryan's birthday as well. Poor kid, I'm sure it will annoy him when he gets older that his birthday is the day after Halloween, but as for now, he is too young to care so I"m gonna work it. I agreed to hold an October playdate and we picked the 30th. The next day I realized "duh, Ryan's birthday!!!!" Might as well do them together. I am hoping little pumpkins are cheap and we're going to do a pumpkin hunt in the backyard, and make pumpkins on paper using our fists and washable paint...OUTSIDE.

As for the house hunt, the inventory in the 3-4 neighborhoods we are looking in is low. We are supposed to see some tonight, but everything seems to say "needs some TLC" or "some damage." Well, everyone's definition of damage and TLC is different, and the realtors seem to be out there on what they will call "some." I've walked through a pot house, that was obviously a pot house, with added ducting, wiring, and aluminum foil on the windows. That house had no mention of needing any work at all. Totally move in ready. Then I've seen houses without any toilets, holes in walls the size of ME, exposed pipes in a bathroom that were from an obvious leak, homes where there was no padding under the carpet...like we aren't going to notice? And my favorite, "some water damage." Um, the house reeked of what at first I thought was cat pee, but then realized it was mold. We walked into the kitchen/family room and the entire ceiling was exposed to the upstairs. Rafters and all. Just a bit of water damage.

I drove through a neighborhood today that was never on our list because it is older, it was actually here when I lived here. We have been looking at areas that are 10 yrs or less. I was curious because I had babysat in that neighborhood before and I remember thinking it was cute. The houses are Cape Code style, I think they also call them salt box. The garages are not attached which at the time I thought was weird and my dad went on and on about how no one wants that. But as I drove through I fell in love. It is such a well maintained area, and some of the houses have the long driveway that can be fenced off, just like our favorite house that we bid on and didn't get. I like that they aren't modern or contemporary like every other newer neighborhood. They just have so much character. There is a school and park within walking distance which is always a plus. Something I did notice was that THERE WAS NOT ONE FOR SALE SIGN IN THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD. NOT ONE. The neighborhood is basically a big loop, with courts that split off to the sides so I was able to see the entire area. So either no one is putting signs out, which sometimes they don't, or everyone in that neighborhood knows how to manage their $ and didn't buy a house they couldn't afford. I e-mailed the realtor and told her that its now on my radar and we'll see what she says.

In other news, I gag and almost throw up everytime I brush my teeth. I am still eating like 2 cows. My brother graduates from the policy academy on Saturday and I'm having 30-40 people over and my house looks like CRAP. I have the biggest house so I usually handle all the get togethers which is fine, normally, but my house has not recovered from the 3 wks of sickness. At least the old fridge is supposed to get picked up tomorrow, between 10-2...I hope its 10. It would be a bit embarassing to still have the old fridge hanging out. So, i've got a lot of cleaning to do. My sister is coming tonight to mop and clean the downstairs bathroom. I am taking Ryan to grandpa's tomorrow afternoon so I can clean the carpets. Good times. And now, its time to shower and start my cleaning before I have to pick Ryan up from school.

Fun in Capitola (no pics)

2008-09-14T14:36:00.001-07:00

I really cannot get myself to take pictures, especially if Ryan isn't with us. I have no real reason, so just deal with it. Ethan and I just got back from an overnight trip to Capitola. My friend's family has a beach house and she offered it to us for our belated anniversary/belated birthday. Yay!

The house was amazingly charming. Craftsman, totally old school. It was one block from the ocean! We walked everywhere. We had to go down some pretty steep stairs into the "village" which I didn't really enjoy, especially the up part. I kept reminding Ethan that I had felt like crap for about 3 weeks and didn't do anything, so it is taking me a while to get back into life. The under belly maternity capris/pants is at least helping with comfort :)

We arrived Saturday around lunch time and got a tour of the house. Its a small, 2 bedroom 1 bath, with a separate guest house in the back, attached to the garage. There is no bathroom out there so we decided to stay in the main house. Pregnant people need to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. It just is that way. The house has a beautiful front porch, the kind you would want to read the paper and drink coffee on, and the backyard is nicely landscaped. She set up a table, umbrella and chairs out there for us too. She really spoiled us (sparkling cider in the fridge).

After my friend left we walked down into the village to have lunch at a place my mom recommended. The view is fantastic because the deck is right on the water, but the service was iffy and the food was just ok. Then we walked around the town, realizing it is very small. We got a bit worried since there wasn't much to do that I could do. I get sea sick so no going out on a boat, no kayaking due to being pregnant, etc.

We walked back to the house and I should mention, the house didn't have a TV. I thought it was quaint, forcing you to relax, which is why we were there. It has been a rough few weeks for us, Ethan worked a lot, so we needed to just hang out. But, Ethan uses TV or video games to relax after a long day at work. Something about how his brain works. We talked about bringing the laptop or the portable dvd player, but didn't. I think he was panicked. I brought a book so I was ok, but have recently been waking up in the middle of the night and watching TV so I was a little worried. Ethan decided to take a nap and I went out into the backyard to read. Peace and quiet.

Then it was time to change into pants (ug!) and get sweatshirts (ah!) and head back to the village for dinner. We went to a very nice Italian place, stopped by the market for some toothpaste and drinks and headed back home. I think it was before 9:00! We got in the car to get gas, and stopped by a bakery for pie. YUM. Then I read some more while Ethan read the newspaper and worked on his paper that is going to be published in a professional journal. We managed without TV! I am kind of proud of us, though I would have liked to check my e-mail or snuggle up during a movie. It was cold enough to need blankets at night. That is my kind of weather.

This morning we got up, showered, and walked back to the bakery where we had some fantastic stuff. Then walked back to the beach for our last view, and headed back to the house to pack up. Ethan was having Ryan withdrawls. We stopped at Trader Joe's on the way, and now we are home. Ryan should be up from his nap soon, and parenthood begins again.

Mini meltdown

2008-09-10T20:01:00.000-07:00

I guess things have just caught up to me and I had a mini meltdown today. Poor Ethan. He works his ass off, and does not need to come home to a crazy wife. He was at work at 7am yesterday and didn't get home til 9. Today it was more normal, but dealing with an almost 3 yr old with a new DEMANDING personality has not been pleasant. Everything is "do this" or "give me this" or "i need that." I spend my entire day correcting him, but it doesn't seem to take. STUBBORN. I talk about using nice words and how daddy does not like it when he is mean to mommy. Then there is his attitude to the dogs who he says he loves. Several times a day he is on time out for pushing them out of his way or chasing them with a chair. And to top today off, he peed in his underwear and shorts twice. Twice. Both times within 5 min of me asking him if he needed to use the potty. We had a screaming match (I am not proud of) about him needing to wear diapers again if he was going to act like a baby. He doesn't want them and says he is a big boy, I am just tired of dealing with pee clothing in general.

Then there are the ants. I have spent the last few days cleaning out cabinets, which means my entire counter space and island are full. I feel like I can't move around in the kitchen. Its making me chlostrophobic. I don't want to spray ant stuff in the house while i'm pregnant, and with Ryan and the dogs, but it seems to be a losing battle. Ethan keeps spraying outside but nothing is working. Today there was a trail from the sink, across the counter, down to the floor, and around the corner. And Ethan didn't notice it this morning! I am just tired of ant clean up.

I panicked today about having 2 kids. Doesn't it seem a little early for that? I am a very realistic person and feel like I am prepared. We had a very hard first year with Ryan, and I figure if I can do that, I can do it again. Ofcourse I'm hoping to fix the sleep issue much sooner than that, but just in case, I know what I am capable of. My family is here, and I know I'll have lots of help. But on a day like today when nothing seems to be right, I just wonder if I can do it, actually no, I know I can do it, but can I do it well? And really what else could have made today better, but having no bras that fit. We seem to be hitting critical mass very early. The problem is that I am already large chested and most stores only carry one cup size larger than my normal size. This means I'm going to have to hit the "special" stores and pay lots of money for a bra--that I will outgrow in a few months and need another. And another.

Wow, pity party for me. I think I'm just tired. I was up 4x with Ryan last night for no reason. And when I went to check on him he would just scream demands at me. I need a good nights sleep tonight. We will have to start CIO again. Sad, but after a week of sleeping with us the transition is super hard and he needs to know he has to go back to sleep on his own. We also need to really discuss the transition from crib to bed. I am petrified. PETRIFIED. But, our crib was recalled and I have to dismantle it before I can get the voucher for the new one. Once they send us the voucher we only have 6 months to use it at BRU. I was hoping to wait til we found ou the gender of this baby because if it happens to be a girl I would like to get a white convertible crib. Either way we're getting a convertible this time because I've looked at the cost of beds and WOW. We have a place here called Kids Cribs and Teens which is an "alternative" to Pottery Barn. A regular twin bed, no matress was $500. It was nothing special, just a bed frame and headboard.

I digress. Ethan is getting Ryan out of the tub. The night is almost over. I'm going to relax, look at my ultrasound photo and pray for a better tomorrow :)

33, DMV, peanuts & sleep

2008-09-09T13:18:00.000-07:00

As of Sunday at 4:10pm I am 33. Another birthday spent pregnant with no alcohol. Add the bonus of a sick kid...wew, what a day. Ethan did take me to Red Robin because I love their hamburgers and chocolate milkshakes. Very low key, but we are going to my friend's beach house in Capitola this weekend so it should make up for it.

Something I noticed on Sunday was that my license expired. Normally you would get a renewal notice in the mail, but that only happens if you let DMV know that you moved. Which I didn't. I'm sure I meant to. My dad was convinced I was going to be locked up with a cell mate named Bertha. I made an online appt for Friday, but took a chance on Monday morning by going without an appt. Less than an hr. I know! For a California DMV. That is ridiculous. I just knew Monday was going to be a good day after that. My dad was jealous because he had an appointment and it still took him longer than that. Ha Ha.

Monday we got to see the peanut. I am only calling he/she a peanut because it really did look like a peanut. Ryan looked like a seahorse. They dated me at 9.5 wks, and my due date is now April 8. The baby was actually moving already and we got to see and hear a heartbeat. That really is so cool. It also makes it really REAL. I'm not sure if everyone does, but until I have that first ultrasound I'm always wondering 'is there really something in there?' Yes, there is. And thank goodness, there is only one peanut. So, yay!

Ryan is recovered from his virus. I took him to the doctor yesterday for a recheck. His tonsils weren't red anymore, the strep test was negative. I showed the doctor where I noticed his gums were red and swollen. He said some viruses actually can cause gingivitis. Who knew? I even googled it when I got home and herpes is one of those viruses. I had a cold sore 3 days before Ryan got a fever, and I wonder if I passed the virus onto him, but his body handled it differently. He never got a cold sore. Hand/food/mouth is going around too, but he never got the rash. So, again we get the "just a virus" diagnosis. Turns out his lack of appetite didn't have much to do with the fever, but was more related to his sore gums. He is eating better today and got the all clear to go back to school.

Last night he slept in his own room til 5am. You have no idea how great that was after a week of sharing a bed with him! I actually slept 4 hrs straight (a record for recent memory) and would have been longer but I had to get up and use the bathroom:( It was much needed sleep had by all.

While Ryan went to school I had a scheduled OB visit. Blood work good, bp good, weight gain fine (1lb in 4 wks). And I got to hear the heartbeat again.

We are coming out of the den of disease....its gonna be a happy healthy rest of September for us!

How many? 8...

2008-09-05T13:48:00.001-07:00

Don't have a heart attack, not 8 babies. Wow, can you even imagine? 8 is the number of vials of blood I had drawn today. I hope I still have some blood left. This was my "prenatal" panel. I actually remember having 8 drawn when I was pregnant with Ryan, but I want to say it was more around the glucose testing time. I know I was in full maternity clothes. Why am I always able to remember what clothes I was wearing at certain times? But when I did it in San Diego I had a totally icky experience. The lady started but then realized she forgot the holder so she asked me to hold them. I had to hold my own blood. And it was warm. SO GROSS. It shouldn't give me the willies because it was my own blood but it did.

Today when the lady sat me down and pulled out all the vials I said wow, thats a lot. She said it was the standard prenatal panel, plus my doctor had added in a few. I told her I was fine, just please don't make me hold them. She cracked up so I told her the story. She said she would never ask someone to hold their own vile. I appreciate that. It goes quickly and it really doesn't bother me much. Ethan would have been dead on the floor. Then I rewarded myself with a burrito. Gotta get all my vital nutrients back in.

I just put a call in to Ryan's ped. 3 doses of antibiotics have not helped. He still has a fever if he doesn't take motrin every 6 hrs and it goes high at night. He told me that if it was strep he would be back to normal today with no fever, so I guess its not strep. I just don't want to get stuck in a weekend situation where we have to go to Urgent Care or something if it gets worse. I also don't like having him take meds so often. On Sunday it will be a full week of fever. I really wanted next week to be good for us. I'm feeling better and want to get a lot of stuff done. I was hoping Ryan would be back at school. I have my ultrasound on Monday and a doctor appointment on Tuesday. I feel like after two weeks of blah I am ready to get back to normal--even cook dinner now that I have a working fridge!

And Sunday is my birthday...Ethan might have to work, Ryan might still be sick. Super Fun.

The never ending day

2008-09-04T15:03:00.001-07:00

Yes, the new fridge is here. She is magnificent. I took pictures, but the cord that is always plugged into the computer is unplugged. I do not mess with plugs and wires. Ethan told me to unplug the scanner, the un plug something else, then plug the camera back in. Nope. He just needs to do it for me. I'm not gonna climb under the desk and mess around with that crap. So, hopefully he does it soon. My fridge is lovely :) She deserves her own post.

As for today, Ryan still has a fever. Just when I think he is ok, his temp goes up. This is the longest its ever happened. Usually its 2-3 days max. Yesterday I thought we had turned the corner because at 5pm it was only 101.5, the highest it had been all day. I decided to hold off on the motrin and give it to him before bed. At 8:00 his temp was 104. Sometimes my decision making kinda sucks. The strangest thing was that at 104 he was acting FINE. Usually 103/103.5 is where I actually notice a difference in behavior. If you didn't touch him, you would not know he had a fever. Then he had a terrible night last night, he kept waking up, he slept with us...or tried. I ended up on the floor because he took my entire side. Then there was a 3:00 wake up, which has become the standard to do a temp check. 98.8. Yipee! The lowest it had been at that time ever. Woo hoo. Til 7am when it was back to 101.5. Damn. Let's just say that out of 8 preschool days Ryan has been to 4. I paid a whole lot of money for 4 days of school :( And tuition is due again tomorrow.

I got Ryan an appt today at 11:00. They close at 12 on Thursdays, and she told me they were double booked. When I told her he had a temp since Sunday she put us in, but apologized in advance that it would take a while. No big deal. I'll take what I can get. The family friend we have that works there wasn't there when we got there, which means we had to wait in the lobby with all the other sick kids (yuck). And Ryan wanted to play with the toys. I sanitized his hands when we got to the room, then again at the car. I told the doctor I was really starting to worry that there was something wrong because he keeps getting these high fevers. We were there in February for the same thing. He checked him for any type of rash, though he said it was too late for roseola. His ears were perfect (as usual) but he said his tonsils were read and "congested" but not enlarged. He wanted to do a strep culture and give antibiotics. The doctor kept asking Ryan if his throat hurt and he said no. He is drinking, but hardly eating. I still have no idea how he can be in such a decent mood with whatever infection is going on.

Turns out the doctor doesn't do cultures in his office anymore. He did when we were growing up. So, down the hall to the lab we went, with more sick people. Ryan wanted to eat one of his pops and I told him he had to wait until after his throat test. He ended up falling asleep on my lap. Poor guy. An hour later, it was his turn. I had to wake him up. He was so excited and said "they called my name?" He still had his pop in his hand, and I told him right after he was done he could have it. The lab tech said strep was going around...yay...not. She was great with him, told him it was some kind of "wand" and he totally bought it. He gagged a bit, but nothing bad. We should have the results in two days, though the doctor said tomorrow. He gave us antibiotics anyway and said to start them ASAP. If it is strep he should be 100% by tomorrow. If not, hopefully it will kill whatever is causing it, unless its just a virus. This is Ryan's first time on antibiotics so I am on allergy patrol.

We left our house at 10:45, got home at 2:30. I hadn't had any liquids. Thank goodness I was feeling well enough to eat breakfast before we left. I did hit the drive thru and Jamba Juice on the way home from the pharmacy. Ryan has hardly eaten anything and I wanted to get something in him. He had his first dose at 2:00 and I'll give him another dose tonight before bed. Crossing our fingers that the fever is totally gone by tomorrow. It was 102.3 when we got home and I gave him another dose of Motrin. And if he still has a fever on Monday we have to go back, most likely to have blood taken. I am worried that there is some "condition" but nothing comes up on my internet searches for high fevers and no symptoms. At least this time there was something with the tonsils. Every other time he has been FINE, ears-nose-throat-and even blood work. They did blood work the first time this happened, when he 10 months old, and his counts were a little high showing there was an infection, but nothing serious.

Our friend that works at the doctor's office thinks maybe he is just a healthy kid and his body uses fevers to fight everything off, and doesn't show symptoms. Who knows. I remember having strep as a kid and my throat HURT. It just seems like a lot to digest lately: the colds, sinus infections, ant infestation, fridge breaking, still looking for a house, the pregnancy yucky feelings...I think I'll go nap. I let Ryan fall asleep at 3:00 (something I would never do) but he's sick and I know he didn't sleep well last night. I'll wake him up at 5:00.

And, unrelated. Though I am an indepenent with more liberal views, I have to say I got a bit misty eyed when I saw a female take the stage to accept the vice presidential nomination. It was just cool, whether you like her or not. And surprisingly, I kinda liked her--or at least what she said. We all know they can say one thing and change their mind the next, but she seemed real. Maybe its the mom in her, I don't know. I don't think there is anything that can be done to change my vote (assuming my change of county went through) but I felt she was real and I appreciated that.

Let's recap, shall we?

2008-09-02T13:24:00.000-07:00

REFRIGERATOR

Ethan and I went fridge shopping on Saturday. I had nice comparison printouts for him for Home Depot, Sears and Best Buy. I hate Best Buy, so I didn't really want to buy it there. Plus, they are big on LG right now, and I had an appliance guy tell me not to buy an LG. Apparently LG electronics are great, just not appliances. Then I also had the information from two local appliance stores, one where my parents know the owners and they get all their appliances there. That would be the easiest way to do it. So, we saw the two fridges there that met our needs. Our needs being 1) new 2) side by side 3) ice/water 4)stainless or fake stainless. Now, don't be all "yay Ethan" for supporting the new fridge. He tried to talk me into a used one, there was talk of Craig's List, but I put the kybosh on that so fast you have no idea. I WILL HAVE A NEW FRIDGE AND IT MUST WORK. PERIOD.

Then we had a nice lunch at Olive Garden, walked around Sears and Best Buy and well, Ethan threw a wrench in my chain. I believe it was something like "wow, digital temperature controls on the door-that is a must." What? I had not done any searches for that. What? I could hear my dad in my head saying "Brandi, that is just one more thing to break." I could actually hear Ethan saying that in my head too. Mr. Engineer failed me on this. So, we went home to research the digital temp controls. No, not we, ME, because he fell asleep while Ryan played at grandma's house. I came to the conclusion that the ones that are true digital temp controls that actually allow you to set a temperature are much more expensive. The others are just the 0-9, just like the regular temperature knobs on the inside of the fridge. Keeping his pepsi chilled to a specific temperature was not worth the cost difference, and he told me to go back to the appliance store and get either of the fridges there. Tuesday. Holiday weekend. Damn.

ANTS

Sunday morning I take Ryan downstairs for breakfast at approxmately 7:10 am and to my horror there are ants crawling up the side of my fridge, into the freezer (where they kindly die) and also in the fridge. WTF? One of the major problems with the fridge is that the door seals aren't good, and air leaks out. Duh. But ants fit in :( I woke Ethan up, told him to deal with it, then called my mom and said we were coming over for breakfast. When we got back Ethan had defrosted the freezer, cleaned everything out, and claimed it was all in working order again. It just needed a defrost. HELL NO. I'M BUYING A NEW FRIDGE. PERIOD.

FEVER VIRUS

Sunday afternoon was the chosen time for Ryan's fever virus to appear again. High fever, no other symptoms. He seems to get this every 4-6 months. 3-4 days long. This also happened right around the time of my nauseau party. Woo hoo. We were able to keep him comfortable, and the fever below 103. His fever rage, and can go from 100-104 in an hr. Its crazy. Motrin is a life saver for these high fevers. Tylenol only brings it down a degree or so, but I sometimes have to use it in between motrin doses. Sunday night and Monday night he woke up at 4:30am with a fever of 103.5. Poor baby. Luckily motrin works quick, and he was back asleep (in our bed) in an hour, and slept past 7 each morning. Today I thought the fever had broken, he woke up at 7:30 and had a normal temp, but he was back to 101 by 11:30am. And he missed another day of school.

SEABANDS

I made Ethan go buy me some Seabands. My OB recommended them to me. I had no idea they look like 1980's exercise wrist bands. I look like I jumped at of an Olivia Newton John "Let's Get Physical" video. I think they helped. Today I am feeling much better.

MORE ANTS

They are in the pantry today. You have no idea how close I am to losing it. Ethan doesn't think the rental company will pay to have the outside of the house sprayed. I want out of this house bad. I just told our realtor I'm pregnant and that the "no rush" has been changed to a "let's kinda hurry" and that I would like to be settled by the end of the year. Please don't make me move and be 8 months pregnant. Liz, you are a much stronger woman than I am.

THE NEW FRIDGE

The new fridge will be here tomorrow between 12-3. If I weren't so pissed about the ants I would be giddy. I paid extra so the ice maker is in the door, giving us more freezer space. And its stainless. I actually wanted fake stainless because they are easier to clean, but they didn't have it with my ice/door option so forget it. Right about now it could have been $5,000 and I wouldn't have cared. Ethan hasn't even asked which fridge I chose. There is a $300 difference. Oh well. Just think, in a few days I will have ice--whenever I want it. Luxury.

Proof you cannot control your cravings

2008-08-30T21:49:00.000-07:00

I just ate Top Ramen--its 9:45 p.m. Now that my second child is swimming in a sea of sodium, my work is done. As for the sinus pain, it is almost totally gone, so I won't be needing the antibiotics (thanks for worrying about me Flynn). I sucked it up. And hey, the cold sore is almost gone. Woo hoo. Ethan keeps teasing me about what other illnesses I can pick up during my supressed immunity.

As for healthy food, it seems to be a no go for now. I'm hoping things will change after the first trimester. Right now I'm either 8 or 11 wks. I know, that makes no sense. All I can say is that the 'cycles' were not regular after going off the pill and that seems to make the math more tricky. I have an ultrasound for "uncertain size/date" on September 8 and things will be settled then. My doctor is going with the 8 wks...I feel farther along. The icky feelings and throwing up didn't start with Ryan until 10 wks...and lasted til 19. Oh yes, fun.

But food...wow. I have a constant terrible taste in my mouth, kind of sour. I know a metallic taste is common. I ofcourse cannot be like everyone else. I do not remember this at all from last time. So, lots of things taste gross. Even water. And, I am paying special attention to keeping myself hydrated because I had contractions at 30wks with Ryan and do not want a repat L&D trip early. No freakin thank you. I was there all day, they wouldn't feed me, I had a cathater that hurt more than Ryan's labor and was just scared. The OB on call at my office never even came to see me, I got a shot, and the contractions stopped almost immediately. I had an ultrasound and basically the lady said "well, there's a big head down there" and that my kidneys were a bit enlarged, but nothing to worry about. They couldn't find anything wrong so they blamed it on dehydration because the last thing I remembered drinking was a grape soda that night before. Honestly, I think I bought the grapde soda that day at the store because I was craving it. It wasn't like I was jugging sodas during my pregnancy. I wasn't. But I know I didn't drink enough water. I am trying, but it tastes icky. Even when I add lemon to it. I remembered my OB saying that fluids were important, and she really didn't care what I drank. If I couldn't eat she didn't care, but she wanted me to drink. Gatorade is my new best friend. More calories!!!

Fruit also tastes terrible, except for this really yummy thing I had at Jamba Juice--its new and has no added sugars or high fructose corn syrup. Yay me! I think that will be my treat on the days I take Ryan to school. Not sure why fruit is gross, but all I want is carbs. Again. When I was pregnant with Ryan I was working full time and ate out at lunch most days. I'm hoping not working will help me out this time, but picking Ryan up at 11:30 is so close to lunch...And Ethan is getting on my case for my lack of protein. Oh, I craved popcorn today. Is there protein in that? Crap.

I'm doing the best I can, really I am. Absolutely no alcohol (though today at Olive Garden I really wanted their berry sangria) and hardly any caffeine. I occasionally will have an iced tea or a passion iced tea lemonade from Starbucks (no sweetner). I haven't had any coffee but boy do I need it in the morning. I will make my own decaf iced tea once we get the new fridge and I will have ice! I'll take any beverage suggestions cuz Gatorade is going to get old after a while.

Before someone says it, toothpaste won't help the bad taste in my mouth. I have to use a special toothpaste because I have formed an allergy to most toothpaste. That makes me sound like I"m 100 yrs old. I was getting a weird rash on the side of my mouth. It came and went for almost a year, and my doctor gave me meds that didn't work. Then I went to the dermatologist who scared the crap out of me when he said the other meds could give me stretch marks on my face. Who the hell wants that? He had me switch my toothpaste, and it worked. Calendula toothpaste. No fluoride, mint, color or flavor. It smells like black licorice. Yuck.

That's wonderful, a sinus infection

2008-08-29T09:04:00.000-07:00

Sinus infections are not wonderful, but I had to throw that in yesterday because when I made Ryan some chocolate milk (his new fav) he said "that's wonderful mom." I think his teacher says wonderful a lot but it was so cute! And how at almost 3 yrs old had my child never had chocolate milk? We went to Burger King a few days ago and I got it for him in the kid's meal. He loved it! So yesterday when we hit up KFC (do not judge i am pregnant and my fridge is broken) he asked for chocolate milk but they didn't have it. Surprisingly enough I had chocolate syrup and made it myself. Yay mommy!

I went to my primary doctor yesterday and I do have a sinus infection. He said we were at the tricky stage because it had been 10 days since the cold started, and it could go either way. The only issue was that my other cold symptoms were gone, and he expected the sinus pain to be gone by now too. But, with a compromised immune system, who knows how long it could take my body to fight off the infection on its own. And then he threw out the latest studies at me about sinus infections. I know, most times they will clear up on their own, you just have to be miserable in the process. But for someone that used to get several a year, that really wasn't an option. Especially after having several x-rays that kept showing they were still there, and then finally having to go on a 30 day antibiotic regimen. I have my mom's sinuses. Anyway, I told him I could hold out a few more days and deal with the pain if he really thought it would clear up on its own. So, he gave me an antibiotic prescription and said to wait to pick it up. If I wasn't better by the weekend I should take it. They really don't want you taking meds when you are pregnant unless its absolutely necessary, and I understand that. So, I'm waiting. I think I actually feel a little better today.

I still have a raging cold sore though. He couldn't fix that :( And I hope his scale was off because it said I gained 5 lbs and my OB is gonna freak about that. I was wearing jean shorts, they are heavy, right? When she saw me at 5 wks she said I should only gain half a pound before she saw me again. Half a pound? I carry more of that in water. I know gaining 40lbs was too much last time, and I'm starting heavier so I need to be more careful. And my dad is a diabetic. So, I get all that. And I said this time I would be more active and I intend to, but the week after I saw her I got the cold from hell and am still recovering. There has been no activity. I haven't even done my blood test because I was sick. I really have done nothing.

Off to go look at refrigerators. I'm making nice little print outs for Ethan (cuz thats how the engineers like their info....oh, maybe i'll make a graph) so when we go shopping Saturday it will be easier.

Our fridge is trying to kill us and I have no immunity

2008-08-28T09:41:00.001-07:00

No doubt on Saturday you will see us at the Labor Day sales buying a new fridge. This has been, oh I don't know, 9 yrs in the making. We have NEVER had a new fridge. The original fridge from the house we rented when we got married was left in the house by the previous tenants, who were our friends. I believe they bought it for $200 at a used appliance store. At some point when we still lived in Sacramento, Ethan decided to switch it with a fridge that was in his building at work. The building was being cleaned out. He thought it was a "better" fridge and switched it. Or as I call it, stealing from the government. Whatever. It was not better. This fridge has traveled with us through all of our moves, and back here to Northern Cali. Best guess is that its early 1980s. I'm talking apartment size fridge, maybe 18 cubic ft. It has been a thorn in my side since we bought our house in Oceanside because it was white and all of our new appliances were black. The horror! Mr. Practical didn't care because hello, it still worked. And yes, technically it did work. But I spent many a night on the couch when I was pregnant with Ryan (hey, its happening again this time too) and had to listen to the humming, thumbing, and clicking noises.

A few months ago, we almost had to buy one. I went and priced them because everything was freezing, no matter what temperature we set. Then, just as I had Ethan worn down, it was fine. I secretly think he has magical fridge powers. I know he doesn't want to spend the money, but we had already agreed to buy a new one once we moved so its going to have to happen eventually. Then, in the last month, it has been popping. It kinda sounds like July 4th. Then the freezer started making stalagtites/mites (i get them confused) and everytime you open the freezer chunks of ice just fall at your feet. Ridiculous.

But the straws that broke the camels back were Tuesday when I was supposed to make the lasagna for my friend and the mozzarella smelled weird. It wasn't supposed to expire til October, and I knew it was the fridge. Then last night, the pork chops....oh god, don't even make me go there. I will gag. The fridge is obviously not keeping the food cold enough and its time to go. Sears is having an appliance sale, Home Depot, and I'm sure Best Buy. So, we'll be there. I have convinced Ethan to pay extra for stainless because it will match whatever is in the house we buy. Match as in close enough, because I would be mad if we bought white and moved into a house with black appliances. At least stainless will look nice no matter what. And the house around the corner that we are waiting on has all stainless.

I've been doing lots of research online about how your immune system is down when you are pregnant. I am living proof of that. The cold I had last week that lasted FOREVER is still lurking in the form of sinus pain. I need to go to the doctor, its probably a sinus infection, except it feels different from the others I've had--and I've had plenty. But, I can't keep popping tylenol so something has to be done. I'll probably call my primary today and see what I can do. Then last night I got a lovely cold sore. I haven't had one in years. Years. Did some research and its another immunity compromise from pregnancy. I'm a walking disease over here, not to mention the terrible taste in my mouth that won't go away, the heartburn, and well...you all know.

Pregnancy brain

2008-08-27T08:04:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is true, Ryan is going to be a big brother! We are ofcourse excited and nervous and all of those things, including sick and exhausted (mostly me). My EDD is April 11, though that has some leeway due to some other weird things, but I"ll know more after September 8th and my first ultrasound. If anything it will be earlier...not later. No way. Been there and done that.

The pregnancy brain seems to be alive and kicking this early in the game, which I do not remember with Ryan. Something else I don't remember, or actually I know for a fact, was that at this point (almost 8 wks) I could still wear my normal clothes. I distinctly remember what I wore to my first appointment at 10 wks and there was nothing maternity about it. I made Ethan get the rubbermaid tubs out of the garage so I could have some comfortable shorts/capris. I'm embarassed. At this stage we hadn't even told anybody last time. We wanted to wait to see a heartbeat and were very cautious. Plus, it was easier being 600 miles away. I had to tell my family yesterday because I was feeling sick almost all the time and knew I was going to need their help, didn't want them to think I was a contagious freak, and the fact that I looked heavier. So there it is.

I have been doing some weird things lately that I wanted to blog about, but then realized they would make no sense unless you knew I was pregnant, so I didn't. But now I can share the weirdness of me. Like how last week at 11:30 pm I was up watching the Olympics and eating salsa. Or that I was up at midnight last night watching HGTV and eating potato rosemary bread.

And something I totally screwed up yesterday. I took a nap while Ryan napped, then bolted awake remembering I needed to make a lasagna for a friend that just had a baby. I had already gone to the store earlier in the day and had a salad and french bread. The hamburger was thawed, I had whole wheat noodles. I was ready, though a bit late on the start time for a delivery of 5:00. As I was putting the lasagna together, the mozzarella smelled weird to me. The expiration date was October so I tried to let it go, but I couldn't. I kept telling myself it was just my taste buds/nose from being sick and being pregnant. I even put the completed lasagna in the oven, only to turn it off. I couldn't risk someone getting sick. I had thawed enough meat to make a lasagna for us, and started browing that. I was going to use a different cheese that smelled fine to me. Its a 4 cheese mexican style but it would work. Then I went uptairs...and forgot I was browning hamburger. I came back down to see a a burnt patty of hamburger. I'm awesome. I called the local italian deli and ordered some lasagna and raviolis. I was just a mess.

So, for the 3 of you out there, this is how its gonna be for the next 7 months. Are you ready?

Don't talk to me I'm watching the Olympics!

2008-08-23T14:38:00.000-07:00

Day 6 of being sick and I believe I am almost near kinda close to being ok. Sheesh. The bright light in this illness has been the Olympics. I usually don't watch anything but gymnastics because I was in gymnastcs for 8 yrs and I feel a bond with those girls. By no means was I doing flips on the beam (hell no) but still, I get it. I haven't left the house since last Sunday. I had to cancel a "Christmas in August" playdate at my house (i did not pick the theme so ignore it) and a meal I was supposed to take to a friend that just had a baby. In keeping my germ spreading to a minimum, I have been sleeping on the couch and watching Olympics to the ridiculous hours of the morning and getting no sleep--which is great when you are sick cuz you are not tired at all! I have become obsessed with sports I never cared about like swimming, and my mind is just boggled that trampoline is a sport--along with synchronized diving. I am so not sporty and I respect atheletes but wow, BMX is now an olympic sport. Ok. I'll watch. What else is on at 1am? And have you seen the Chinese play table tennis? The serves alone freak me out. I swear they are bouncing the ball off of themselves in some hidden move. Its insane.

I've realized I will watch any sport as long as its fast. I can't watch a whole basketball game...way too long, and I know there is something better on Style or TLC or HGTV. But, a few dives or a quick 100m race and I'm good. Here are a few of my observations thus fur:

1) I hate the new gymnastics scoring system--hate it
2) I do not understand the shape of the new vault...it is kinda creapy looking
3) Running is very hard and I won't be doing it
4) US women's beach volleyball = awesome
5) I saw a country get its first olympic medal ever and that was super cool
6) Even olympic athletes make rookie mistakes (stepping on the white line in track = bad)
7) A US pole vaulter got the silver medal after being in the sport for only 4 yrs and her coach was a total ass to her and that was not right and I hope he sees himself on video and feels BAD
8) BMX was basically a big pile of a crash and whoever doesn't fall basically gets some type of medal at the end
9) Why all the makeup in synchronized swimming?
10) Diving from a handstand is so dangerous looking
11) A lot of times the "favorites" don't even get a medal so pay attention to the under dogs

Well, I've got some cleaning up to do while Ryan and Ethan are at a car show. This is the first day I've felt up to moving around and the play room and family room are a mess. Ryan took out every toy he has and never put it back. Ethan was going to take a picture so I could post what the house looks like when mommy is sick. Maybe that was good for him to see. We don't have a spotless house, but I do a lot of "pick up" throughout the day. After a week without me picking up it was a war zone. Even the dogs were scared.

Can you handle the randomness of me today?

2008-08-20T17:08:00.000-07:00

Well, on the sick front, I am feeling better. Apparently this is a 3-4 day cold, but as I said before, it knocked me out. Ryan not so much. I just don't get it. But then again, its kinda interesting (in a way) how viruses affect people differently. Like Ethan, he gets a headache and a runny nose, sometimes a scratchy throat. That is his definition of sick. He doesn't get congested so badly that his head feels like its gonna explode, or feel like he needs to lay down. Nope. He still usually goes to work, just feels kinda out of it. I am like a zombie. I learned a few years ago, after teaching and being exposed to a classroom that should be called a petri dish, that when you get sick you need to just lay on the couch all day. It really does help. I used to go to work because the kids needed me! And because they behaved terrible for subs and I was embarassed. But, after one long virus (2 weeks) where I was trying to hang in because it was the week before finals and we had to review (and they needed me), and Ethan was out of town on business, I just lost it. I couldn't function anymore, went to urgent care because I hadn't even had time to pick a doctor because I had only had "grown up insurance" for 3 months and BAM....I almost had pneumonia. I'm not exactly sure how it was almost, other than, the doctor said it was on its way to pneumonia. Then when you leave teaching and have an office job, there isn't the feeling that the world will end if you don't go to work. So, I used my sick days, stayed home and got better. Ofcourse, this is much harder to do with an almost 3 yr old, but luckily the last two afternoons one of my parents came to pick Ryan up so I could rest. I love it here! I've been laying on the couch, bag of used kleenex at my feet, drinking tea, and letting Ryan watch whatever was on Disney or Noggin or Sprout. I know, but really, it could be worse. And here it is day 3 and I can already breathe out of my nose. I spent more time today sitting up than laying down...and I ate two real meals (and Ryan did too). I'm keeping Ryan out of school tomorrow as a precaution and I'm proud of myself for being so caring of other people's health...but man, I'm paying for this preschool so I hope he is well for a good long stretch!

On to house info, because you will never get bored of that I'm sure. I found out today that we are still the top contender on the house around the corner. There are now a total of 6 bids which was news to me, but, they have asked the other 5 for their "best and final" but not us. I guess they were all way low. The realtor told our realtor for us to hang in there and we should know something in about another week. We were trying to figure out why they didn't "best and final" us and all we could come up with was that, since they already told us we were top bid, they didn't want to scare us away by asking us for more money. It seems we are still in a good place, but YOU JUST NEVER KNOW. Luckily, no new houses have come on the market that we are interested in.

And something that is rubbing me the wrong way. I don't want this to get political or religious or anything like that cuz I'm not like that. I'm friends with lots of different kinds of people and if you are coming from the right place, I'm usually ok with you. Last year when we were in Oregon on our rafting trip I read an article in USA Today because it said it was about someone from Oceanside, CA, where we used to live. I was curious, then bam, the name of the doctor that delivered Ryan was mentioned. I start freaking out thinking she's got a malpractice history but it wasn't that, it had to do with her not wanting to artifically inseminate a lesbian. I read the article, which was small, it bothered me, I told Ethan if I would have known that I wouldn't have selected her as my doctor (the case was very old) but didn't think alot about it. After a few weeks I mentioned it to one of the attorneys I used to work for just to see what he thought and to make sure she wasn't supposed to let me know about any pending cases. She wasn't.

So, fast forward almost exactly a year. I get an e-mail alert today from a San Diego news station (i like to keep up with my old hood) about the case. Apparently the California Supreme Court found in the patient's favor and I got a little more back story which irked me even more. So, the patient came to my doctor and her practice (i think there are 5 docs) for infertility treatment and IVF. She told them she was a lesbian at the beginning. They treated her for 11 months with all the prep stuff that has to be done AND TOOK HER MONEY. Then when it was time for the IVF they said they wouldn't do it because she wasn't married. Um, hello....CA law at the time would not let same sex couples get married. Everyone knew that. Then there was a story switch at some point and one of the two doctor's claimed some statute about religious beliefs and not wanting to treat a lesbian (he was fundamentalist christian). Wow.

Several things bother me, on many levels, but the first is that they took her money for all the prep stuff, and then told her no. I don't care if it was her personal money or her insurance...they should have said no up front. If you're gonna be an ass, be an ass up front. Maybe they wouldn't have gotten sued if they were honest. If it was me, I would have walked out of the office. Hell no I wouldn't want them treating me. Secondly, I didn't think your religion had anything to do with who you treat as a doctor. I know this wasn't a life threatening emergency, but you have to think about that and where this could lead. Someone is dieing in the ER and the doctor won't treat you because you're gay, or catholic, or whatever. NO. That is not ok.

I'm not sure why it bothers me so much, other than, I hate that someone that treated me was so unfair to someone else. I also know there are tons of kids out there that need good homes and everyone is gonna say the lesbians can just adopt, but I also know the desire to have your own biological child. Either way you look at it, the intent of the doctors was wrong. What did they expect her to say after 11 months of infertility treatment and preparation? Oh, ok, never mind. Sorry I'm not married. I guess I"ll just wait around until the courts decide who I am allowed to marry. See ya.

Ok, I usually dont get soapboxish. Sorry. I just expect extra tolerance from certain people, and doctors are included in that group.

Sick kid vs. sick adult

2008-08-18T16:13:00.000-07:00

Why is it that a sick kid can still play, and be loud, just like when they are well? Even with a tremendous amount of snot running out of their nose and a cough. It boggles my mind. Ryan had the symptoms of a cold Friday night. Awesome because we had just been playing over a friend's house but I swear, he was fine. Not a drip from his nose or evena sneeze. He had a sneezing marathon in the tub and after that, it was full on cold. It was a matter of minutes. So, he stayed home with Ethan while I went to our playgroup anniversary luau on Saturday. He pretty much acts the same, running around like a maniac, but eats less. Sunday the cough started, but again he was about the same energy level. He woke up once in the night for medicine. I went to bed last night not feeling so hot and BAM, I am walking dead today. He is running circles around me. Its' 4:17....please Ethan come home early. I might be tied to a chair soon, and this poor kid needs some real food.

Great news!

2008-08-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

Some good things have been happening to us, and around us, and I thought it was time to let everyone know and be thankful. In no particular order...

1) Nikki's liver values came back NORMAL. She does not have liver cancer!!! Such a relief that our Nikki Sue is ok. I'm so glad we don't have to deal with thinking about losing her right now. We just love her too much and would never let her suffer, so its good to get confirmation she is A-Ok. She did have one elevated level, but the vet said that is from her arthritis. Shelby also got a check up because of some lumps we found on her, and we wanted to weigh her because we knew she had dropped some pounds. 20 lbs! She is actually at her ideal weight right now, the same weight we got her when she was 1 yr old. We did a senior blood panel on her to make sure there wasn't anything bad that is making her lose weight. The vet said 20lbs in a year is fine, but we think it might have been more recent. I remember a difference when she started the prozac. But, some other things changed around that time too. They had their little "episode" where they tried to kill eachother, hence the prozac. We changed a few things around that time, like Ryan not being able to eat at his little table. So, she is definately getting less of Ryan's food, and Nikki all of a sudden decided to finish her food. She has always been a snacker and it is hard to manage a dog who snacks w/ another dog who would eat 100 meals a day. The vet aspirated the lumps and they were just fatty tissue, most likely had them before and we just couldn't see them. Now that she is skinny they are more noticeable. So, as long as her blood works comes back ok then I have myself 2 health, but old dogs :)

2) My friend Liz had her baby. Yay! Gabrielle Rose is a cutie. Everyone that reads this probably knows Liz, so I don't have to say much other than she is super nice, and helpful, and just a good person to have as a friend. I know you are too busy to read this Liz, but congrats to you and the family. I wish I could have gotten to know you even better before I moved, but I enjoy learning about you and the family via the blog.

3) It's our 9 yr anniversary today! Last year I did a superb blog about how great Ethan is. He loved it. Then there was a bit of a mess because he never gave me my card. Supposedly it is still in the glove box of his truck--if it was ever there at all. We're keeping it pretty low key this year. No big rafting trips. Ryan's playgroup has their 2 year anniversary on Saturday and they are having a luau, then we're going to Ruth's Chris for dinner. YUM. All I can say is that we're in for a busy 9th year with some big changes ahead and I can't wait. Thanks for making me laugh and for loving Ryan and I. When we stick together good things happen.

4) Happy Birthday Paisley! I keep meeting more and more people whose birthday is Aug 14th.