BREAK

I needed a break so I ran upstairs and decided to post. Who knows how long I have. Luke was content sitting with his daddy, and Ryan was on a time out for the 100th time in the last hour for repeatedly doing things we tell him not to. Go figure. I have cabin fever today due to the heat and Luke wanting to eat all day. I am sore, and seriously thinking that my nursing days are coming to a quick end. Don't get me wrong, I am SUPER proud of myself for lasting this long and I am hoping to make it to the 4 month milestone where Luke will probably be able to start solids. If this cuts back on the constant need for nursing then we'll be OK. But at 17 lbs and only 3.5 months, he eats a lot. I have no idea how this pediatrician feels about starting solids at 4 months instead of waiting til 6. My only fear is that without nursing there will be no way to comfort him when he goes into one of his scream sessions. But at the same time, I am hoping to start sleep training and the nursing to sleep is such a big no no. With Ryan we lived in 'survivor mode' for a year and I don't want that this time. Things need to start getting back on track schedule wise. We need to have the energy to send Ryan back to his room in the middle of the night, I need some time when I am not holding or feeding Luke, I need more than 3 hrs of consecutive sleep, I want to be able to make Ethan dinner and see that excited look on his face when he walks in the door and smells it (instead of the poor guy having to eat cereal).

I keep thinking of things to blog but never make it up to the computer. A few months ago Ryan drank 3 Ensure shakes. He snuck into the pantry and got them. Not even sure how he opened them. Random things were happening related to the pantry that particular day, like Ethan telling me when he left for work that Ryan kept hiding in the pantry...fast forward to the end of the day when I saw him in there (me craning my neck to look over the couch while nursing and sent Ethan to investigate) and we found 3 empty cans! Ryan's reply: i love these, they are da-yishous. We decided the pantry needed to be locked and I moved all of Ryan's snack to a cabinet. Then I realized we have lever doors and spent $12 on the only lock that works for lever doors for it NOT to work. So, we bought a new handle but haven't installed it yet cuz we are cool like that. We did move the Ensures to the top shelf, only for me to find Ryan in there with a chair.

Let's see...oh, the vacation. As I had thought, Ethan and Ryan had a great time. I did a lot of sitting with Luke. Luke and I had to stay in the car at the beach where the seals were with their babies because it was too windy. Then at the river we sat under an umbrella. I got absolutely no sun. At the pool I sat in the shade, never got in the water. While some of the adults played games and stayed up I went to our room and nursed Luke watched TV. Ethan did a great job of taking care of Ryan but with the amount of people in our condo the noise was outrageous and it was overwhelming. Plus, Ryan feeds off of his older cousins and had some attitude that I did not enjoy. Luke had been doing 5-6 hr stretches when we left, and then switched back to 2-3..not a fan.

We moved Luke to his crib when we got back. It was just too much. After 3 months of sleeping with us, and doing 2 nights in a king size bed with the 4 of us it was time to have some space. The video monitor has helped ease my fears. I still have no idea why this time it freaks me out to have him in his own room (which is super cute by the way--I should post some pics).

Ryan did 2 weeks of swim lessons and though he cried the first day, he was fine the rest. On the last day he jumped off the diving board! TWICE. I was stunned. He really took to his teacher, and when he had a sub 2 days he was not happy at all. He waited to jump til his teacher came back. I am hoping we get him again because we start again tomorrow. He also has soccer once a week and loves it. My sister got him shin guards and real cleats and he looks adorable.

I just noticed its 8 and Ryan hasn't even showered yet so I need to go downstairs and get the bath/bed process started.

Yeah, I'm still here

We are having a banner day here so I actually have a second to post. Luke is on nap #3! All in the swing, but we'll deal with that another time. I really wanted to nap right along with him, but we are leaving tomorrow on what Ethan is calling a vacation. I on the other hand call it "more work for me". Whatever. The intent is there, its just so much work and the sleeping arrangments...Liz, I just read your post about that too. Ethan's dad is generous enough to invite his kids for a summer vacation. He moves his time share around. Last summer we went somewhere that was Africa hot, and spent most of the time at the pool. We also were in a 2 bedroom condo with 4 adults and 4 kids. There was a murphy bed too and my oldest nephew slept in grandpa's condo on their murphy bed.

This year, there are 2 more kids! Seriously, what a year can do! So, we either sleep all 4 of us in a king size bed which is d0-able...sadly we've done it lately in our queen many a time. Or, each of us gets a kid in a twin bed. I'm too lazy to load up the pak n play, mostly because it has all of Luke's clothes in it cuz I use it as a changing station downstairs...and because we don't have the room. No matter how many times I tell Ethan I need a bigger car he says no...then when he sees how much room the stroller takes up (its a metro lite and the smallest Graco that is a travel system) he freaks out. I ofcourse have to pack for Africa hot days and nights in the 50s. You just never know how its gonna be at the beach...plus I need an umbrella for my chair cuz I don't want poor Luke to get burned since he is technically too young for sunscreen.

So, i've overpacked for Luke and Ryan, got snacks, meds (if you pack for the worst it usually never happens), swim stuff, beach stuff...and nothing packed for myself. I'll upload pics when we get back. We just downloaded a bunch. It literally took 30 min to download all the pics and movies so yeah, it had been a while! Ryan finished preschool and had a cute program, Luke is smiling up a storm...sleeping 5-6 hrs at night and if today is any indication of things to come, is finally fixing his day sleep issues. It was so nice not to hold him all day today!!! It is time for him to move into his crib when we get back and I'm nervous. No idea why. I kinda like having him in the bed. Maybe I have the "its my last baby" blues. Ryan is starting swim lessons and soccer, possibly a music class. Busy. I realized I have to try to get out of the house everyday or I go insane. INSANE. Ryan doesn't start school again til August so we gotta keep busy.

The ants are back. I cannot even tell you about it.

I had this weird thought today: If we send Ryan to school early, as in being 4 turning 5 in November, he goes to kindergarten next August...next year. OMG. It hit me like a ton of bricks. We've been talking about having him wait a year cuz he has a kinda late birthday, so he would be 5 turning 6, but decided to wait and see how he did with preschool this year and find out what his teacher recommends. I know with boys they sometimes say it is better to wait, but I also wouldn't know what to do with him. He will already have 2 yrs of preschool...no one around here does "pre-k" and i don't want him to be in "school" for 2 yrs, then out for a year. That makes no sense. Academically I think he could do it...he is lacking in fine motor--scissors and holding his pencil correctly to be exact. He can kick a ball, throw, etc. just fine.

So, that is whats going on in my bed. Congrats to Judy and her family on baby Claire.

New pics at other site

New pics at other site...sorry, I have a baby that will not nap on his own so as soon as someone fixes that for me I can post here, LOL.

Let's see...

For the past few nights Luke is doing 4-6 hrs of sleep as long as he is swaddled. Since it is Africa hot we are running the AC at night so he doesn't get too hot. Ethan hates to run the AC, especially at night. Too bad. Sleep is priceless. Unfortunately, none of that is consecutive sleep for me due to a certain 3 yr old that has come into our room almost every night since Luke has been born. At first we felt guilty about all the changes he was going through but now we are tired of the whole situation. We KNOW its going to take several nights of putting him back in his room and letting him cry, but who the heck wants to do that? We're both tired. Ethan gets up at 6am and though he doesn't get up with the baby, I know it affects his sleep. I sure as heck am not getting up. So...the last 2 nights Luke and I went and slept in Ryan's room because our bed cannot hold all 4 of us. Yes, Luke sleeps on our bed....we found out he enjoys our expensive matress and doesn't like the basinette. Blame him? In the next few months we need Luke sleeping through the night so he can start sleeping in his crib, and then we need to go hard core with Ryan's issues. Sounds like fun.

We are starting to get cement estimates for our backyard. We only have 1 so far, but its basically almost our entire budget so the backyard really isn't a project, its a patio and the sod/sprinklers/planting will have to wait til we win the lottery.

Luke is 6 weeks today. I'm still BF and formula...it works so i'll keep doing it til it doesn't. There are some situations out of the house where formula is easier, like trying to keep track of Ryan at a park. I'm sure I gave everyone there a show while I tried to keep the nursing cover actually covering something...in that kind of situation I need to be mobile and had a very hard time so bottles out of the house, most of the time. If people are offended by BF I usually dont care, but honestly, my boobs are no prize to look at. You would die if you knew the size of my bra. My dream: lift and reduction.

Luke is a grunter. He is not constipated, but sure sounds like it. He grunts, he strains, and literally keeps me up at night. Its worse after the middle of the night feeding, formula or breast milk makes no difference. I basically don't get back to sleep by the time he is awake again to eat, though he is semi-awake during the grunting marathon. If you have any ideas please share. We see the ped in 2 weeks for shots (yuck) so i'll ask then. Trust me, he is not constipated. NOT.

Luke has been asleep for almost 2 hrs, and Ryan too. Today was a nap day instead of a "quiet time" day. I always tell Ryan to lay down and try to sleep but if you can't, you may turn the light on and read books until I come get you. The first few "quiet times" were neither quiet nor the length they were supposed to be. He is getting much better. We all need a break. I have been on the computer instead of doing anything important, but oh well. Oh wait, I did put on make up and we have a playdate this afternoon so I'll look presentable. Woo hoo. I even showered today...

My day: head downstairs to make sure Ryan doesn't want 50 hrs of cartoons on Disney after his daddy leaves for work; feed and change Luke (again); head outside to play before it gets too hot; lunch and then Wii time for Ryan, nap. Outside again if its nice...wait for daddy to get home! Oh, and feed Luke about every 2 hrs...yep. That is my day.

check the other site...pics

Ryan and Luke were actually napping at the same time--and I didn't have to hold Luke (hello swaddle, you are my new best friend) but I only managed to get pics on the other blog so check it out. And to lure you there...I cute my hair. OMG.

Let's hope for better

Luke turned 3 weeks old yesterday. At first I thought time was going by slow, then realized he is one week away from being a month old...a month seems huge. Then I think 11 more and he'll be 1. From someone who wanted Ryan's babyhood to go by quickly, mostly because people lied to me and said he would sleep better, I think I will be sad when the baby part really does end. Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to more sleep. Even more, I'm looking forward to a schedule. Ryan did so well once we got onto a sleep schedule, unfortunately that took a year, so the prospect of starting a schedule much earlier is exciting. I hope Davis' program works as good for babies as it does toddlers.

Ryan still says he loves his brother, but he has definately been pushing limits the last few days. Yesterday I was already exhausted and it was just 100x worse with his attitude and constant defiance. I was ready to lock him in his room, except there is no lock. Insert tantrum we just had over him wanting more "coffee" which is milk, sugar, and a little decaf. Telling him we don't have anymore was not enough and he was getting into my face which I HATE. I'm having personal space issues since I started nursing. Yesterday Luke was on my lap for about 6 hrs straight. Honestly. Usually I can get him to nap if I swaddle him, but not yesterday so he was either eating or sleeping on me and it makes me feel chlostrophobic--not to mention my butt was asleep.

I have now officially breastfed longer than I did with Ryan. Still pretty sure I won't make it an entire year, but I'm going one day at a time. Luke had a bottle last night so I could shower and just get a break. Instead of taking a shower I chose sleep so let's hope I get a shower today :) He seems fine with formula and doesn't mind the bottle so that is good. My dad is hilarious. He won't say breastfeed, so he says mother's milk. Then lectured me that babies on mothers milk can't be gassy or have colic. Not sure where he gets his info, but Luke is a gassy baby, and was way before he ever had any formula. Oh, dad also says babies on mother's milk don't need to be burped...i have no idea where he gets this info. We were all formula fed so I know its new for him but really, not his area so he can just get over it.

Today I managed to clean up the playroom so hopefully Ryan will play in there instead of bringing every toy out to the family room. I'm caught up on laundry, but its not put away. I have 3 more nights of meals for moms so I don't have to cook, and there are minimal dishes.

Pictures...someday.

My kids are sick

Luke is 2 weeks old and has his first cold. It is the most pathetic thing. Last night he got congested and today we already had a weight check scheduled. Turns out he has a low grade fever also. We went to the lab for bloodwork and everything was normal, thank goodness. Ryan woke up in the middle of the night coughing. His inhaler and cough medicine didn't seem to work, though the inhaler has worked this afternoon. He is working on a 2.5 hr nap. I went in and woke him up once but he wasn't into it, so hopefully he will come down on his own soon. My poor babies. He is sporting a fever of almost 101, though is acting fine besides the cough.

I feel like its a whole lot to process right now on no sleep, but we are doing the best we can. I begged (kinda) Ethan to try and take more time off. One week wasn't enough. I don't feel close enough to myself, besides having no appetite. The good part about that is I've lost 20 lbs already, though not in the best way possible.