I have the best friends!

Today was the baby shower I said I didn't want and I'm glad they talked me into it! We had a blast just socializing and hanging out. No games or anything like that. Just the girls hangin out without the kids. Oh, and food. The two organizers were so good about trying to find stuff I could eat and not having anything to tempt me. Though I protested the splenda cupcakes w/ no frosting they were great! Totally would eat them again (with frosting though cuz a cupcake without frosting is wrong without a medical reason).

I got lots of diapers and wipes, and some cute outfits that Luke might not care about, but I love. Even with all of Ryan's clothes we saved, it was nice to get some new stuff and 'ooh and ahh' over it. I will have to take a picture of these cute shoes that have skulls on them, they are awesome. My mom knitted another blanket (Ryan uses his everynight and calls it the soft blanket) as well as a quilt with a train on it. So cute. I loved the practicality of the diapers and wipes, plus the cute stuff everyone added in. Because we are doing a jungle theme, my aunt offered to take some of the pictures from her safari in South Africa and make a collage--LOVE IT. That is going to look awesome in his room.

Its all coming together and now that I made it through the shower, I'm really ready. Everyone thought I would go into labor tomorrow and the shower would be cancelled...no such luck. But, I feel like even if it doesn't happen on its own, the 7th is just around the corner. I don't see the doctor til Friday, what I assume will be my last appt before the induction. I'm hoping to stress the point of the pitocin working with Ryan and that maybe if the antacids they use to induce don't work they could try the pitocin. From start to finish Ryan's induction was 11 hrs-awesome for a first baby induction. I really don't want to be sent home, and don't want a csection unless its a medical necessity.

And now, I'm going to soak in the tub. My feet are a bit swollen and the sciatica pain has started down my right leg. I actually got some sleep last night and I'm hoping for more tonight. Friday night I literally got 2 hrs of sleep. My brain would not turn off and I was wide awake. Ryan did not nap today. Ethan took him out on adventures today while we had the shower, but brought him back late. When he tried to put him down for a nap at 2 he wasn't having it. We tried quiet time with the light on so he could read books but he wasn't having that either. He knew people were downstairs having a party and 'that was not fair i want to be at mommy's birthday.' I wanted him in bed at 7 tonight but as it is often with bedtime, my intentions don't seem to become reality and he was in bed at 8--complaining the whole time. Ethan and I were both getting frustrated and I had to keep reminding them BOTH that the reason he was acting like this was because he was tired...let's hope I don't get woken up in the middle of the night. It seems to happen in spurts. We'll have 3 good nights, then 3 bad. I forget where we are in the rotation...bummer.

Sometimes you gotta let it go

I'm over (almost) the fact that I'm not being induced when I was told, and that my doctor doesn't trust the ultrasound results for the size of baby Luke. I'll just wait. I have nothing else to do. I am still a bit nervous that he is a big baby, and will continue to get bigger in the next two weeks, but we'll cross that bridge later. If I learned anything from being pregnant with Ryan its that they come out when they want, ofcourse there comes a time when you have to go get them because how long can you possibly be pregnant? I actually read somewhere that babies have been born healthy at 44 weeks, but that is about the longest a doctor has let anyone go. NO THANKS. I was also reading that most people aren't really overdue, they just calculated wrong. Ryan's OB tried to pull that one me as well, I believe she said "you're not really 12 days late, it could be more like 7." I do not even have to share my reply with you :) I know due dates are unrealistic, and that only about 3% of babies are actually born on their EDD, but there is something about hitting the mark, then going further and further and further. Its all you think about. It consumes you. Plus I'm tired, feel and look like crap, I want to sleep on my stomach and eat a donut (not all at once.)

I still wonder if there is anything weird about being 38 wks pregnant and not having one braxton hicks or contraction or anything. It seems like everyone else does and a lot of my friends made a few trips to the hospital and then were told it was false labor, GO HOME. Maybe my body just doesn't work like that.

Another thing that was mentioned at my appt was that the meds they use to induce might not work and after so many doses I would be sent home. I am confused since I can't go over due with GD and my induction is scheduled for one day before. What happens if it doesn't work? You think I would have asked, but I just couldn't form the question without sounding whiny. That is a new added fear, along with the baby being large and it turning all into an emergency. I do not want that.

To focus on a positive, I took the time to look at all the coffee creamers on the shelf and found one that only had 2 g of total carbs. Score! I have not had coffee (decaf) since the GD diet. Its not that I love coffee--I love some coffee with my milk/creamer and sugar. I paid full price for that bad boy and had some coffee this morning. Unfortunately I forgot to bring my testing supplies when we went to the kiddie gym this morning so I don't know if the creamer effected by blood sugar at all. I will try again tomorrow.

Maybe i will work on a list of foods I am looking forward to eating again...

What is the point?

What is the point of doing an ultrasound to check size if you are going to ignore the results? Seriously. My doctor is so hot and cold. For weeks she talked about induction at 39 wks, then after the GD diagnosis it was induction for sure, cannot go over due, baby = too big. Then its "oh, we waited to long to schedule it" so now its April 7. Ok, fine. As a precaution because of the GD I had an ultrasound at the hospital today. With 2 weeks to go, the estimate was 8 lb 8 oz. I figured that would throw her into a tailspin (like it did me) and prepared Ethan for a possible induction in the next few days. My doctor totally brushed it off, told me they aren't very accurate this late in the game, and we're still set for the 7th. I know they can be +/- 1 lb, but I also know 2 more weeks could mean another pound on the baby, maybe more. We still do not have an accurate weight for me due to their weird scales. They had two scales today. One said I lost 3 lbs, another said I gained 5. THERE IS NO FREAKIN WAY. I want to just scream "lady, let me tell you what I eat in a day" but I don't get the warm and fuzzy feeling from her and I don't think she cares much. Even Ethan said she seemed all about business. She is. My mom says its my fault for picking female doctors and the only two that I have had have been relatively the same. At least my OB with Ryan would fake the niceness and do you have any questions when Ethan was there. This doctor didn't even say hello to Ethan today, the first time he came to an appt.

BTW: the u/s tech said he is very chubby and has hair! and I think we are having another middle name change...let's hope mom hasn't monogrammed anything, LOL.

So, now I get to wait and worry about possibly trying to push out a large baby when my previous was 8lb 2 oz at 41 wks 5 days.

Ryan finally went to the dentist!

According to different sources I'm either 2 yrs late, or just a few months late, on getting Ryan to the dentist. Luckily all is well and his teeth are great. I was a little surprised that there wasn't a major meltdown, though I did bribe him with a lollipop before we went in. A bit ironic but it worked. He tends to like to show off and impress other people, so I wasn't that shocked that he did everything they told him to. Even xrays. We got a thumbs up on our teeth brushing technique and were told to start flossing...um yeah, we'll see how that goes. For now she said to concentrate on the molar area and teeth that are close, and not to worry about the others if he put up a fight. I believe this will be left up to daddy, just like cutting finger/toe nails. Not my thing. I'll post dental shots on the other blog when I get a chance. Looking for the cord under the desk does not sound like a fun job right now.

In other news, Ryan didn't nap yesterday. I'm getting the vibe that the napping days are drawing to a close, just as I expected, around the time the baby gets here. He kept coming out of his room and I kept telling him to go back. I wasn't comfortable getting into the shower because I didn't want him roaming the house, nor did I want to let him watch TV while I showered. I wanted him to try to sleep. Finally after an hour I told him he could turn the light on and look at his books, but that he could not come out and I would get him when it was time. New word: quiet time. I think I might have to set a timer or something since he loves gadgets. Today he napped with no problem, but he was in his bed at 1:00 on the dot. It might be a case of tightening up the schedule for both nap and bed, but I don't expect the naps to go on forever...no matter how much I enjoy them.

WOW

Friday night around 5:30 Ryan asked to go to the park. Now I had been asking him since he got up from his nap around 3:00, but ignore that. We were outside playing in the front yard because our back yard is...well...unfinished. Let's just call it a bunch of weeds and dog poop. So, I told him it was getting too close to dinner and it would be dark soon (not really) but he wasn't buying it. Then he started a campaign of "call grandma I bet she wants to go to the park with me." Gee, make me feel bad. So, we negotiated which park (closest to home was my vote) and I said we were driving because no way was I walkin anywhere, especially when he likes to pull the "carry me" on the way home. I'm no dummy.

At the park there were kids of various ages. Ryan literally screams with delight and says those kids are his friends and they love him. It so cute to see him being social and trying to play with kids he doesn't know. Mostly he tries to follow bigger kids. I watch him closely to make sure a) he isn't bothering them and b) they aren't mean to him. He was running in circles, just being a crazy boy in the sunny weather and I loved it. There was a mom there with her kids, and at first I wasn't sure how many were hers. It was hard to tell because she spent the entire time I was there laying on a park bench reading a book. Laying.

Numerous times her kids got into fights with eachother over a skooter, and she took it away. About 10 min later the older girl is throwing tanbark at the sister. Ryan is in the area so I yell at him to move. He asks why. I say loudly, because those girls are throwing tanbark and its not nice or safe. Mom never moves her book. Finally the tanbark gets into the younger girls eye and she starts wailing. The mom yells at them to come over and doesn't really even ask what happened, basically just tells them to stop "whatever." The older girl (with some tude) announces she is still mad that her mom took away the skooter.

Mom's response: maybe i would reconsider if you stop acting like an idiot

WOW. Seriously, that is an exact quote. This was not a quiet conversation. This is her in a yelling voice, one that I could hear clearly from where I was sitting, across the play structure. Wow. She also yelled at one time that the older girl was not old enough to have her pants pulled down and spanked in front of everyone. Turns out there were 2 younger boys that were hers as well.

Now, I don't set out to judge, especially on parenting which is the hardest thing ever, and I know I'm not the best mom, especially now in the last few weeks of pregnancy I am losing my temper and just freakin tired, but I know I have never done anything like that and I just don't see why she thought that would motivate better behavior. Maybe she wasn't thinking. It happens. Ryan has been spanked a few times, I can't say I'm proud of it. I've told him to shut his mouth before, again, not proud, but I would never call him an idiot. Never. But I have told Ethan that his son was acting like a butthead, but Ryan wasn't around :)

It just made me feel if she will say that kind of stuff in public, what is she saying in private. Makes me sad.

I'm gonna cry in about 5 seconds...

Today I saw the OB, and again, no real progress to mention. What I am not happy to mention is the 10 lbs I supposedly gained in 1 week. 1 week. How is that even possible with the diet I am on??? I have been doing this diet since Feb 9th, and have maintained and/or lost weight since then. At one point I had lost 5 lbs. WTF? Seriously, it is making me an emotional wreck because I just DO NOT GET IT. The doctor didn't get it either and she took me back in the hallway and weighed me herself. My scale even says I've put on weight. She said I have no water retention to speak of, but other than that is clueless. Then she said "just watch what you eat." Um, been doing that since Feb 9th. Hello. I was about 150 when I got pregnant, went up to 180 before the program, and have hovered at the 177-180 mark for over a month. There were weeks when I didn't gain at all, or lost a few. Last week I was 177 at the office, so this is totally blowing my freakin mind. Their scale says I weigh more now than the day I delivered Ryan at 41 wks 5 days. Holy crap.

To add to my stress, I found out today that we waited to long to schedule the induction, and I'm now scheduled for the earliest day available: April 7. One day before my due date. Thanks so much. So I've got 3 more weeks to feel miserable, gain unexpected weight, and keep up my diet. Fun.

On a good note, I had my last GD appt with the nurse and was basically released. They are happy with my progress and unless my #s go totally out of control I don't have to go back. I am a gestational diabetic rockstar. She said I am the exception to the rule, and most people that go in end up on insulin. I just don't get it. I've worked so hard to keep this under control and though its not easy, it has been worth it for the health of the baby, me and not to have to take insulin. I know sometimes diet doesn't work the whole time, but apparently there are people out there that don't even try. They actually ask for insulin. Insane.

Is it too much to ask a 3 yr old to be grateful?

Everytime I type grateful I crack up because when I was teaching 9th grade we had vocabulary words each week that were mandated by the district. I would put the 10 words on the board and they would copy them down, define, and then I would have some other type of activity, followed by a spelling test at the end of the week. I saw grateful on the list and assumed it was a typo. Just didn't look right to me, so I switched it to greatful, which really doesn't look right either. In one of my classes I had a lot of special ed students so they had an aide that helped out and she brought it to my attention. How embarassing!


Anyway, Ryan had major tude today, even after I thought we did some fun stuff which he should have been grateful for. Maybe its just too much to expect, or maybe its me being tired and emotional and just done with carrying around 30 extra lbs and being hungry for stuff I can't eat.


We left the house around 11 (right as daddy was leaving for work) and hit the library. Technically this is the first time he has gone to specifically check out books for himself. Many moons ago we went for story time in O'side, but nothing since he has been this old. (Old...LOL). We specifically went because he has a Blues Clues book (that I hate) and was asking for more. His reading preferences go in cycles. We'll read the same two books at night for over a month or, if I happen to clean up his room and put all the books back on the shelves he'll just pick something and when we are done it ends up on the floor-the new favorites. His choice would be to have every book in his room on the floor so he could meandour around and pick and choose...that lasts a few days until I cannot stand the mess anymore and back on the shelves they go. So, after last clean up we've been stuck with a Blues Clues book--more specifically, a book with 4 stories and he makes me read "My Pet Turtle Torquoise" every time, and the second book is an old Winnie the Pooh scratch and sniff book that was mine.


We headed to the library for more Blues Clues but they didn't have any in English (I am not heartbroken). We headed to a section on 'cars trucks trains...things that move' that I thought would be a hit, but they seemed to be more for older kids. He picked out a book on big rigs. I picked out a book about a bunny that is going to be a big brother, and then we found some Bernstein Bears books--we have one already and its one of his favorites because sister and brother get in a fight and one of them says "get your dopey feet out of my face" and he thinks that is hilarious. He calls them the bad bear books.


We even looked at some dvds and I thought those would be a hit but he wasn't interested. Our local library happens to be attached to a park so when we walked out he asked if we could go to the park. Even though it was close to lunch I said yes, and he had a great time playing. Some older kids showed up and were throwing bark and just getting into general trouble so I said it was time to leave. That went ok and we came home for a quick lunch and nap.

We had already discussed needing to go to the grocery store, something I hardly ever do with him since my MIL usually comes twice a week to watch him while I run errands or attend my various doctor appts. She flaked Monday, and we were in need of some staples, specifically cheese sticks and granola bars for Ryan. He was excited for the granola bars and I might have bribed him with Starburst. I'm no dummy. I know I can't chase him around a store. He actually asked to sit in the cart which blew my mind. Then as we were looking at strawberries (this boy loves strawberries) he threw a fit about wanting raspberries. The problem is that he doesn't like them. I'm his mom, and I know things like this. Over and over he is talking about the raspberries and then says "daddy says I like them." Um...whatever. So I buy raspberries that were probably $4, I have no clue. I just wanted it to end. They did not have our usual brand of granola bars and I should have been leery when I handed him the box and he looked at me like "what the hell" but I bought them.

Everything was ok until right after checkout. I told him as soon as we got to the car and I washed his hands he could have a Starburst. He decided he didn't need to hold my hand, which is difficult when I'm pushing a cart anyway, but said he would stand next to me, which apparently translates into walking on the other side of the parking aisle and almost getting run over by a car. I told him to move closer to me 3x and finally was so annoyed that I grabbed his hair and pulled him closer. I'm sure it was a lovely scene in the parking lot. I am not proud, but hey, he is alive and not smashed under a car. In true Ryan fashion he got very dramatic and had to roll around on the ground. I put him in his carseat crying and went about my business.

Once everything was unloaded I talked to him about his lack of listening, especially lately, and how that was very dangerous. Starburst came up again and I said if he stopped crying he could have one when we got home...after washing our hands. It was absolutely silent and when we get to our driveway I turn around and he has both hands in his mouth (ew) and tears streaming. I ask what is wrong, thinking maybe he hurt his hands on something. Nope. Just him being overly dramatic again about Starburst because ofcourse, they taste better if you get to eat them in the car. Honestly, I"m losing it about now. I unload everything, leave him sitting in his seat (yes he is almost 3.5 and does not try to get out himself) and we have another discussion, specifically about following directions because ew, your hands are dirty and you put them in your mouth, and then didn't take them out when I told you too. Gross. Grocery store cart gross. Yuck.

Dinner comes around and he is having taquitos and his beloved rasperries which he finds out he does not like. Duh. I tell him to leave them on his plate but he cannot. They must be off, and another argument starts about following directions. I call daddy and ask him if he can have a talk with his son because I'm done talking and things are gonna get ugly really quick. Ryan blabs something about rasperries to him and how I'm making him eat them and "i don't yike them." He seems to calm down until he asks me to eat the raspberries. I tell him I can't because it makes the baby sick and he is screaming at me to eat them because he needs them off his plate. Can we all say "OCD."

At bedtime we talked about trying to be a better listener as our goal for the next day. We're half way through today and I think we are on track. But geez...I'm off to what is hopefully my last appt with my diabetes nurse.