Wednesday, November 28, 2007

How did we end up together?

Today I'm at the gym, being irritated at the Ipod. Well, not the Ipod, more like Ethan because during my non gym phase a few months ago (when my brother went back to work and I lost my babysitter) Ethan decided he was going to "borrow" my Ipod and use it when he went to the gym. So, he downloads a bunch of his music on it, then never uses it. I'm back at the gym because my mother in law retired (YEAH) and she comes over twice a week to watch Ryan. Total Score.

I'm on the treadmill, staring out into the strip mall, thanking God that I don't have to go to a laundromat (washing machine, dryer, and dishwasher might be the best inventions ever) and realize I'm spending way too much time switching songs. Why you might ask? Because Ethan's music taste is about as far away from mine as possible.

Now, I like some kick ass music when I work out. I admit that. Something has to keep me motivated or there is no way I can stay on the ellyptical for 25 min. But seriously, our tastes are so different it amazes me we are a couple...neverthless a married couple for 8 yrs, and we've been together for 15!

Here are some examples of what he put on the Ipod:
Limp Bizkit
Kid Rock
White Stripes
Johnny Cash
And lots of other music that is loud. I can't remember the name of the group that sings "Like a Stone" know, where you can't understand the singer cuz he mumbles so badly. Well, they are on there too. There's lots more...I'm just forgetting.

Oh wait...the soundtrack from The Last of the Mohicans. WTF? I hope you are thinking WTF cuz I was when that music started playing. Because music that people die to is really motivating.

And it just made me wonder how the hell we got together in the first place. We don't like the same music, or the same extra curriculuar acitivities, or movies...or food...I'm just trying to figure out if its weird, or if thats why we've managed to stay together this long. If we were too alike would we bore eachother to tears? Ethan is mild mannered and calm, you can't rattle him easily. I ofcourse am emotinal, get upset, and am what he calls "fiesty." I think he needed a fiesty woman, but thats just me.

I read a ton, he has probably read less than 5 books in our 8 yrs of marriage. I would like a nice romantic comedy or drama and he likes movies where there are explosions and elaborate fights and car chases and lots of people have to die. As for food, I could do without meat (except for hamburgers). For him its not a meal if there is no meat. For vacation, he would plan activities for every minute. I would like maybe one every other day, and like to chill out on the beach with a book the rest of the time. He cannot sit still for 5 seconds. Maybe thats why we didn't go to the beach much...he would hound me to play frisbee and I just wanted to SIT.

Never knew an Ipod could be so thought provoking did you!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Thanks...and nap strike and blood and eggs

Its a bit late, but Happy Thanksgiving. We had a nice gathering here because its easier for Ryan to do it here, our house is bigger, blah blah blah. It just means a lot of cleaning for me but at least I don't have to make a turkey. Mom takes care of that. I am only responsible for the greenbean casserole. Yum.

I am thankful for a lot of things, especially my family and friends, and ofcourse, my happy, healthy little boy. We really are blessed. I really have been thinking about that a lot lately. When Ethan wrecked his "fun" car it really didn't matter. Its a luxury, not a necessity. When it was time to renew our health insurance and the cost went up a little, oh well. We have good insurance! Ryan had another off night where he was up from 2:30-4am and I was freaking out, but a friend reminded me to breathe. Those things happen and it will pass. And though I'm not letting him sleep with us again, it was so cute to roll over and watch him sleep. He looks so peaceful, and sleeps just like his daddy.

Something I'm not too keen on is the nap strike. Ryan hasn't taken a nap in 4 days. How do you go from 2hr naps to no nap? Please tell me. I am not ready for the no nap stage. At this age he does not understand the "rest" time either. But, I need a break, he needs to wind down whether he sleeps or not. I'm hoping this all magically gets fixed when Ethan goes back to work. I'm not blaming him (kinda) but he has been home for 4 you see a pattern? Ryan usually takes shorter naps on the weekends when daddy is home, but at least he naps. So, with the few nights of waking up and sleeping with us, there is also the fact that no alarm is going off at 5:30am, no one is being noisy in the morning (Ethan is noisy!!!), etc. Ryan has slept in til almost 7am. Unheard of. So, I hope (please please please) that his is just some weird schedule thing and that when Ethan goes back to work tomorrow Ryan will wake up around 6 and be tired enough to nap. Please. And yes, I would rather him get up at 6 and nap than get up at 7 and not nap. Call me crazy. He now had to go to bed earlier to counter act the no nap. It really is just a juggling act over here. But by 5:00pm we are all melting down.

We've had some interesting stuff going on here. My brother was at the local bowing alley (seriously, not much to do here) and there was a shooting in the parking lot. Thankfully my brother was inside and didn't even hear it, but when he went outside he wasn't allowed to drive the truck home because um...there was blood on it. GROSS. How do you go home and tell your dad you had to leave his truck in a parking lot because its part of a crime scene? Then when we went to leave today we noticed Ethan's truck got egged. Come on, people still do that? Really, there has to be something--anything else to do.

New words: Ryan said van and bunny yesterday!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

One of those nights...

So, we had one of those nights last night. A night we hadn't had in quite a while. A year to be almost exact. First, I have to say I am grateful for the last year of sleep. It has brought back some of my sanity and I feel much more like myself, though still tired, it is nothing like it was before. NOTHING. And I know its expected to have an off night here and there. And actually, in the year since we used the sleep consultant this is our fourth off night. I know! Only 4! By off, I mean I actually had to get out of bed in the middle of the night because Ryan was off his normal. That is the great thing about this program. Once you get started on the schedule you learn what your child's normal is. So, for Ryan it was normal for him to wake up and cry for 5 min or usually less. Most nights we don't hear a peep from him, but 5-10 min woudn't be a concern. And, its not really a cry. Its more of a whine, and at times I don't even think he is truly awake. This compared to every 2 hrs, or less, and an entire month in our bed. So, four off normal nights in one year is nothing. But I'm TIRED.

Last night was the fourth night of being off. And I have to admit this comes on the heels of me e-mailing the consultant and giving her an update on Ryan (how fabulous he has done!). Then he started the 5 min cry after we put him down...not during...but after we get downstairs. I told her I must have jinxed myself but she told me not to worry, he is getting older and protesting bed. No biggy. He is 2. Boy is he 2.

DID I MENTION I WAS TIRED. Today is the first day in months I made coffee. I've been mostly giving up the caffeine for the "half assed" diet. Ryan woke up at 1:30 and cried in spurts of a few minutes for an hour. Oh, I should also mention at 1:30 I hadn't yet been to sleep myself. I had been tossing and turning so maybe he caught my sleeplessness. Who knows. It really sounded like he woke up and just couldn't get back to sleep. There would be quiet for 15min and I would think he was asleep and then BAM it would start all over again. I couldn't take it anymore and checked on him. He was fine. No fever, not wet or dirty. Just one angry little man. Instead of changing his diaper and putting him back to bed I did a bad...I brought him to our bed. I really thought I could reason with him. Around 3:00am it really sounded like a good idea in my head. I said "Ryan lay down go nite nite." For 30 min I dealt with him touching my hair and saying "hair" and then he asked for a lollipop! By 3:30 I was officially off my rocker. I put him back in his room and more screaming ensued.

At some point Ethan went and got him and I heard him talking to him. He brought him back in our bed, I tried rubbing his back. Once he got comfortable he was out like a light. I had about one inch of matress and almost no blanket and no pillow. Ryan slept til 6:45 and opened his eyes wide awake. Its like he wakes up at 150% (only in the morning--nap wake ups are torture). I was a mess, needless to say. The worst part is I know that was wrong, but I did what I needed at the time. I needed reassurance he was ok. And I got that since he stopped crying the minute we went in and never cried once in our room. My fear of him being sick was gone.

It was just one of those nights. So, wish us luck for tonight. If he wakes up again I'm gonna have to be strong and let him go back to sleep on his own. Its so hard, but we've come so far and I can't turn back now. Still 4 nights in one year is AWESOME. And I am grateful for every single night. Truly I am. I would not lie about sleep...We have given him an important life skill by getting him to go to sleep on his own and sleep through the night. It really has changed our lives for the better, and I'm trying not to have anxiety about tonight. Just accept this little bump in the road and move on.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Some annoyances

Thanks everyone for the support on the speech delay. It is just something to get used to, but Ryan is progressing fantastically on his own. He is even starting to sign "more" and his vocaulary list is growing everyday. It really is a step in the right direction, and I'm hoping a few months of therapy will get him to where he needs to be. But...

The therapist assigned to Ryan called today. Her opening is Fridays at 12:15. Who wants that? Apparently no one, that is why it was offered to us. Are they completely clueless? This is a 2 yr old that needs a nap...oh, lunch is good too. Geez. Ryan usually starts his nap anywhere between 12-1, depending on what time he woke up. I hope I didn't sound like an ungrateful ass, but honestly, he is not going to be productive during these sessions if he is tired or hungry. I know my child. I know how far I can go with his schedule, and trust me, 12:15 (even if he has lunch first) is too late. That means he won't get into his crib til about 1:30 and that is just too late for a kid that normally wakes up at 6:00. Plus, lunch is an ongoing process. It can take him 30-45 minutes to finish. He is a grazer. I don't like it, but thats who he is. I quit fighting him about it long ago when I realized that fighting = him not eating. So, sometimes we start lunch at 11:30 and by around 12:30 he is done...that was what happened today. I cannot imagine trying to start an hour of therapy at 12:15. She was supposed to e-mail the other therapists to see if they had openings that were more convenient. *sigh*

And I have to write about this because I'm hoping some of y'all will say it has happened to you and not to worry. I took Ryan to Sears for his 2 yr pics yesterday. I made a 10:00 am appointment. Definately not in the way of lunch or nap. He had a snack before we left, all was good. He was so damn cute in his khaki pants and sweater vest. But there was meltdown after meltdown. First he saw the red car, the car he had his 18m pics in. I finally gave in and let him take a picture in the car. That would be the only picture she took. After 30 minutes of torture I told her to forget it and asked to see the picture. She said she couldn't sell it to me unless there were 6 poses. WTF? Come on...if I would have known that I would have told her to take pictures of him crying so we could meet our quota. I was just done. DONE. Embarassed. Exhausted. Done. I even bribed him with a lollipop and that didn't work. And because I am a terrible parent and let my frusteration get the best of me I said, "well, later you're gonna get a shot."

I know....terrible, but it was true. Ryan had his 2 yr check up yesterday. Again...super fun. He cries from the time the doctor walks in (he already had a pop before he came in) until the doctor leaves. No stopping. Crying in my ear. Terrible. He didn't do this in San Diego, but I only think that was because he wasn't old enough to know what was happening. For some reason 2 is this magical age where he knows everything. Like he knows now that we don't go to bed when he does, and he thinks he is missing something, so he has to cry for 10 minutes after we get downstairs. He doesn't cry when we lay him down or when we leave. He waits for us to get our dinner and start eating or watching a movie and them BAM, he has to let us know he is not happy about going to bed.
I also got a lecture from the doctor about not brushing his teeth good enough. In my defense I didn't brush them before we went, and he had eaten an orange and drank that veggie/fruit juice and I noticed he had orange stuff on his teeth. Gross, but I just didn't think to brush his teeth, so I'm sure they looked bad, but whatever. So, i'll wrestle him to the ground and do a better job. Lovely. When the doctor came back with the vaccine and flu shot I had given Ryan a lollipop to make the screaming stop and the doctor freaked out, told me sugar was the last thing he needed. WORST MOMMY RIGHT HERE EVERYONE. I AM TAKING A BOW RIGHT NOW.

Really, I've been a bit too complainy lately. So, to end on a better note, Ryan said "uncle" yesterday and my brother is so excited. He also said "light truck" for a truck that has flashing lights...thats right, 2 words together! He is signing "more" like crazy and if I'm doing something in the kitchen he will say "up sit" for me to pick him up and sit him on the counter. I love that little boy...but sure would love him to say mom :)

Monday, November 12, 2007

The speech evaluation

I have been avoiding this topic, and doing a damn good job of it I think. Especially because Ryan is going on a two hour nap so we know its almost over and I'll have to stop. There is no excuse other than I have been processing the information, and dealing with it. So I begin with the fact that I know its not that bad, please don't tell me things could be worse. I know that, I promise you I know that. I have a happy, healthy little man. I am thankful ( I promise) that he doesn' t have some terrible disease. Its a speech delay...a bump in the road. But why am I teary eyed as I type this? I think there are a lof of possible reasons, but the hardest has been having a professional tell me my little man isn't perfect. Now, I already knew he wasn't perfect. I spent a year getting up every 2 hrs...that is less than perfection, but there is something about having someone else say he isn't perfect and then having to agree with them. And by perfect I guess I mean "age appropriate."

First, I must say I am grateful to Early Start. This is a free program through the state that does evaluations for all sorts of "disabilities." Oh yes, that is another thing. I got a pamphlet on my disabled child and I wanted to scream. I know its all red tape and he has to have a label to get the free services, but still, it stings. Anyway, Early Start was a better option than going through our insurance--no referrals, no co-pays, no driving 45 minutes to the nearest therapist. When I called in August Ryan was 22 months with 0 words. ZERO. So, I really thought by the time they got here, 2 days before his birthday and him having at least 25 words, we were on the track to "all is fine."

Not so much. Backtrack...they sent three therapists and a case worker to our home which was great. Ryan was in his environment. There was a speech/language therapist, a fine/gross motor skills therapist, a behavior/cognitive therapist, and a case worker. They sat in a circle and did all sort of play things with Ryan while asking me questions. They were all so nice and friendly. I'm not just saying that. I felt at ease. But when it came to the end, Ryan scored a 12-15 month score in his expressive language. He was in the normal range for EVERYTHING else (including receptive language) which was 21-24 months. Now, I have to say that even shocked me because I consider him more "advanced" in his motor skills. He's been walking since he was 10 months and jumps on that trampoline like no one's business. He rarely falls, has good coordination, etc. Ofcourse its fine to be average, I was just surprised.

During the speech portion, the therapist would ask things like "have you noticed------?" My answer was usually no. No, I didn't notice he focuses more on vowels. No, I didn't notice he can use a consanant in the middle of a word, but can't use the same letter at the beginning. No, I didn't notice most of his 25 words are "situational." The guilt was creeping in...what kind of mom am I? How did I miss that? But then, a rational thought came over me. These rational thoughts are getting spooky (like when I didn't freak out that Ethan wrecked the car). I recognized that she has a nice little chart in front of her and she is marking stuff off. This is her job. She is supposed to notice this, I'm not. I'm the mom. I'm the cheerleader. I'm the one jumping up and down when he says a new word that I can understand. I'm not one for the technical.

So, Ryan qualified for therapy once a week, and it should be starting next month here at the house. He will do therapy for 6 months, then get re-evaluated. Another plan will be written if he needs more therapy, and if he is still in the program at age 3 he can go to an Early Start preschool. It really was a lot to take in, right before his birthday. That was also the same day the dogs ate the bread and I thought one of our dogs was going to die...and I lost it that night. I cried. I think I scared Ethan, but handling stress is not one of my better qualities lately.

The extra good news is that they did an autism screen and he was fine. The initial hearing test they performed was fine too. Anyway, we made it through 3 parties in 1 week (2 for Ryan, one for my sister in law the vet tech) and I'm physically and emotionally tired. But I cannot end this sounding so bummed so I'll share Ryan's new favorite word = POP, as in lollipop. He wakes up at 6am asking for a pop, and goes to bed at 7:30 asking for a pop. Its hilarious. And when he actually gets one the smile on his face is fantastic. He also is addicted to "oduce" (orange juice) lately which has made for some nasty diapers...but thats another story. All I can say is my kid loves him some fruit.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Bread, Anal Glands, Parties & Car Crashes

I'm sure I'm up for some kind of blog award with that title. The sad thing is I can connect them all :( It was a crazy week over here. Ryan had his speech evaluation but I'll get to that in a few days. I am still processing the whole situation. Onto bread.

My dogs (hmm...i think i've mentioned them before!) ate an entire loaf of Trader Joe's potatoe rosemary bread. #1 its bad for them...#2. thats my favorite bread, and the only white bread i eat so its a treat...and we were supposed to be having it that night with spaghetti and meatballs. Major bummer. Then the vomiting started. Shelby (the one who eats plastic and wood) seems to have an iron stomach and was not effected, though she skipped dinner which is unlike her. Nikki on the other hand, vomit factory. Large quantities of bread puke (sorry Liz). I should also mention that Ethan had just cleaned the carpets a few days prior. Yep. Fun stuff. I told Ethan to call his sister (our own personal vet tech) to see if we should be worried. He flaked, and I went on the internet to get some info. Its like when you are looking on Web MD and they say a sore throat can be allergies...or cancer. I read about dog bloat, which is their stomach getting all turned around and squeezed (apparently it isn't attached to something) and then they die. Other than the barfing she didn't have the other symptoms but I was terrified. Ethan finally called his sister after I told him we could possibly be just watching her die right in front of us. His sister was very concerned and had us feel her stomach and listen for sounds. Sounds are good. After a few more pukes we called two ER vets. One was worried about dough poisoning (not an issue since this was cooked bread--morons and the other said to bring her if we're worried. So helpful. What I wanted was someone to tell me IF ITS BLOAT SHE WOULD HAVE DIED ALREADY. By this point it had been 6-8 hrs after eating the bread. Ethan reasoned that if we drove her to the ER (30 min away) they would just watch her, just like we I slept on the couch and Ethan went to bed. Nikki had her last barf at 12:15pm, ironically it was right onto the directions to the ER in case we needed them in the middle of the night. I got no sleep and was a nervous wreck. At some point she came and laid next to me and I knew she was ok. The next day both dogs ate and pooped so we were good...but ofcourse I texted my sister in law to make sure they were in the clear.

To add to this, I've had a weird sore throat on one side of my throat for a week. It just went away on Sunday. But I was dealing with that all week, and was hoarse and/or lost my voice a few of those days. I'm pretty sure its nasal drip kind of stuff and I felt fine. Just one more thing.

2 days after the bread incident, Nikki was obsessively licking her butt. I finally got irritated enough that I checked to make sure all was ok down there (I'm such a mom) and lo and behold, there was a second butt. Apparently her anal glad ruptured. What? Yes, dogs have anal glands. I can give you a whole lot of info about them, but trust me, you don't want to know. I called my sister in law again (we are single handedly keeping that vet in business). I believe the conversation went like this:

Brandi: Hi, its me again
Sarah: What's wrong with Nikki?
Brandi: I feel stupid saying this, but I think Nikki has two butt holes.
Sarah: Uh oh, sounds like her anal gland ruptured.
Brandi: Um, gross....gag....
Sarah: Can you bring her in? We need to stitch that up and make sure it doesn't get infected. Then we'll "express" the other gland.

Super fun stuff. I had Ryan in the car within 20 min. We also had to take Shelby because I didn't have time to Shelby proof the house and it would have been plastic toy heaven for her. Oh, and this was about one hour from nap time. And its 30 min away. Did I mention we hadn't had lunch yet? Or showered? Awesome. We left Nikki with Sarah, and she had to have special anesthesia because of her liver issues, and cuz she is old. Then I took Ryan to McDonalds and hoped fries and nuggets would keep him awake on the car ride home. I called Ethan to give him the scoop--he had got my message but just couldn't deal with it. Like I could? Well, I managed to keep Ryan awake and got him down for a nap around 1:30. Not bad if I do say so myself. Sarah brought Nikki home that night with a sewed up butt and meds. I am happy to say she is fine. Though two nights ago I noticed a swollen pink bump on her lip...I'm not joking. Sarah thinks she might have been stung by something. Geez.

Onto Ryan's birthday party. We had about 30 people over Sunday, which means all week and Saturday were cleaning days, and ofcourse we had to carpet clean again due to the vomit. But, it was a nice time. We got a Spider Man jumpy house and the kids loved it. The cool thing was that there were only about 6 kids so it wasn't overwhelming. I decided to do appetizers from 2:30-6, like a drop in thing. I thought it would be less work. WRONG. It was way more work keeping up with the dips, quiches, brushetta, fruit, etc. I think I had too many varieties and grilling burgers would have been easier (especially since Ethan does the grilling). But oh well, my mom and sister helped a lot and now I know.

Car. At some point in the party Ethan's friend asked for a ride in the convertible. He ofcourse would never turn down the chance to show off his baby. After everyone was gone, he tells me something happened with the car. I immediately thought he hit my car as he backed out of the driveway. Turns out he accelerated into a corner, lost control and ended up on a median in our development, taking out a poor, defenseless tree. And the car looks yucky. Because it is so low to the ground it really took a beating. As he is telling me this I'm thinking, "we've only had this car since May and no way are we paying to get it fixed right now, we just had a huge huge vet bill." But, something came over me. Maybe because the party was over and the stress was gone--or maybe this is the real me. But I hugged him, told him I was sorry about his car, and said I was glad no one was hurt. I think Imight have shocked him. But it really is true. I thought back to when I parked his truck in our garage and the door closed on his back bumper. He knew I didn't mean to do it, but I could have been more careful. He didn't over react. Same thing here. He was probably showing off a little, but he didn't mean to hurt his car. He loves his car. And he was majorly embarassed that it happened with his friend in the car. And now he is obsessing about the insurance so I just let him be. Last night I reminded him how lucky we were that they weren't hurt, or anyone walking by, or a kid on a bike. And that we are lucky enough to have 3 cars, so this isn't an issue for him to get to work or anything like that. Accidents happen.

So, that has been my life the last week. Oh, throw Halloween in there too. I didn't exercise at all last week due to the sore throat. I need to get back in the swing of things. Oh, play group party here Wednesday. 20 kids. I'm insane.
I'll post birthday pics soon.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Happy 2nd Birthday Ryan!

Two years ago today, at 4:55 p.m., in Oceanside, California, Ryan Anthony was born. He weighed 8lbs 2 oz, and was 20.5 inches long. It is hard for me to believe its been two years. The first year went by slow, probably due to lack of sleep, but the second year has flown by--maybe due to sleep!

Two years ago at halloween all my neighbors stopped by to trick or treat asking where the baby was. Then I would stand up and they laughed. No one could believe I was still pregnant.

I called the hospital at 4:00 am to make sure we were still on for the induction. I guess there could have been a rash of babies born and they had to make sure they had room for me. Who would have thought these things? I hopped in the shower, and we left. Then it was insurance time...that took forever. I don't think I got to my room til around 6:00, instead of 5:00. AM. Man, thats early. I was wearing my navy blue sweats (i still have them) a maternity tank top and a long sleeved denim shirt. See, parts of my memory aren't gone :)

Then it was more paperwork, more questions, monitors, stuff. I think the pitocin started around 6:00. My doctor came around 7:00 to break my water and there was not a lot going on. Ethan and I were kind of bored actually. My family was waiting at the house. No need to rush. By about 8:30 I called to tell them we were bored and they could come provide entertainment.

I am not sure at what point the contractions started. All I can say is that it was major back pain like I have never felt. And, I am a back pain expert with a car accident and ski accident to prove it. It hurt bad. Ironically, I had no abdominal pain at all. The strong Brandi that said she was going to wait on the epidural was fighing with the more logical Brandi who wanted it NOW. Unfortunately, though the contractions were regular, the dilation was slow. I was given Stadol through the iv and it did nothing. Absolutely nothing. About an hour later I told the nurse this was serious business and something had to be done (ok, maybe not those words). She checked me again, and I was still 3. She told me she had an order not to give an epidural until at least 4. That seemed like a lifetime away. Lucky for me, she had pity in her eyes and called for one. I LOVE NURSE CHERYL.

At 12:30 I got an epidural. So, I get some props for being on pitocin for 6 hrs without it. It was a whole other world. I had this glorious idea to take a nap, rest up. But I couldn't. I drifted in and out, waking to see everyone watching me. Then at 2:30 i was 8cm. What? Excuse me, but I was just enjoying the calmness. What do you mean we're gonna "get ready." Apparently going from 3-8 in 2 hrs is fast. Who knew?
Then it seemed like my doctor was calling every 2 seconds and annoying my nurse to no end. And then I was pushing...and I was told I wasn't a good pusher. Again, who knew? That went on for hours, with the doctor calling to check my progress. I guess she was just gonna pop on over at the last minute. So, props for the nurses. THEY DO IT ALL. At some point the nurse needed to call my doctor and asked for my permission to mention the vacuum. She thought it would make a difference. I said yes, and should have been scared but wasn't. Our lamaze class went over all of that and actually showed us what it looked like, so I was ok. After hours of pushing I needed all the help I could get.

At some point my doctor swooped in, and all I can remember is her complaining that there was no hook to hang her white doctor coat on. Poor thing. Cuz if i could have stopped what I was doing I'm sure I would have held it for her. But I was busy. I should mention at this time that my mom and Ethan were holding my legs and helping with the counting. My sister and my friend Ginger were also there. My dad and brother were on the other side of the curtain, and ran out when I threw up. No visuals for them. I'm pretty sure Ethan was close to collapse but he hung in there. At times I think he didn't say one word at all during those pushing hours, other than counting.

My doctor evaluated my pushing technique which again was a fail, so we discussed the vacuum. I'm not sure there was much more than "yes, please get him out." She said he was stuck getting around the pelvis and my pushing was not enough. So, with the help of the vacuum he was out in two pushes. I never thought I would like a vacuum so much!

So, that was about 11 hours. Not bad for a first baby induction. And here we are today. Wow. We have a little boy that makes us smile and laugh everyday. He has taught us so much about patience and joy. I just hope we are teaching him enough in return.